Facebook.....social media in the 21st century

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

I've been wanting to get some opinions from members of P.E. regarding the purpose of Facebook. I personally cannot relate to it and I'd like to know if I'm alone. It's being used for promotion for the band I work with and the routine revolves around gaining followers. When we play shows...more people attend because they view the advertisement on F.B. Facebook is a good way of doing business and you can, (over time), get productive results. This is okay within itself, but I haven't been on F.B. for about two months, because I like for my life to remain private. Although pictures of me and vids of my playing, chit-chat /comments about my guitar playing are on going and shared with other's on F.B. . I refuse to indulged or acknowledge that. I leave all promotion in the hands of our manager. Since I haven't been on for two months, I've received nothing but grief from musicians around me. Example...."Wow..people were posting all sorts of rare photographs of King Crimson on Facebook this week"..."Why don't you go back on Facebook and have a look see". That obviously didn't work for me. I'm 60 years old , listened to K.C. all through my youth and I'm not too excited about spending my time on F.B. to see rare pics of K.C. I cannot believe the things people have said to me in order to persuade me to go back on F.B. It's a lot of hassle because I'm in the public eye. I'm under radar and I cannot relate. When I traveled the road for years...the band would take one or two weeks off and I would retreat to my house and live a private life like Syd Barrett. I was completely disconnected from society for two weeks and a manager would call me on the phone when it was time to go back out on the road. I was never comfortable dealing with people in the audience, short of a hand shake, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek. I'm still basically the same today as I were then.

Our manager is telling me how bad it looks when our band packs a venue, hardcore supporters and newcomers are raving about us on F.B., and I am not there to say thanks or comment on situations. I've been face to face with him regarding the F.B. issue where upon he has told me directly that he WAS going to pay me a little extra , but has decided against it due to my signing off from F.B. and further stating that he does all the work on F.B and since I am not participating and spreading the word on there that he will pocket the money for himself. You know....I really can't relate to the 21st century at all. I don't want a cell phone because I don't want anyone having an option to easily contact me when I'm mobile. Whatever they choose to tell me can wait until they see me. I didn't delete my F.B. account to get attention from people. I deleted it because it annoys the crap out of me. One question I hope people will answer is why most people in my life insist on giving me a hassle about not being on there? I find that completely insane. Has anyone else ever had an experience like this? What forms this kind of pressure? What difference does it make? Life is so good without it.

**Scott Bails** · 07-26-2016

Excuse me while I make sure that I'm not walking on your lawn.

I'm kidding. Sort of.

It's a sad (for some) fact that social media is here to stay, and a major resource for people to communicate. But, like any form of communication, it can be abused and misunderstood. You take the good with the bad. It's a great way to stay in touch with friends or family who don't live nearby, but you often then have to be subjected to their vacation photos, political rants, and Internet memes that they apparently find hilarious but are really kind of stupid. Not to mention being told that if you don't share their post, you then hate babies and kittens.

Regarding your manager, it sounds like he wants you to participate in promoting the band and interacting with fans while you just want to go out and play the music. Unfortunately, without promotion, you're not going to be playing for anyone but yourself. Very few musicians can take the Neil Peart route.

**Shadow** · 07-26-2016

The purpose of Facebook, to post cat videos.

**Zeuhlmate** · 07-26-2016

Facebook is a horrible social tool, but really good, cheap and easy for promotion if you use it well and are active there.
Make a robot or your wife answer the fan post

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Zeuhlmate

Facebook is a horrible social tool, but really good, cheap and easy for promotion if you use it well and are active there.
Make a robot or your wife answer the fan post

Hahahaha! That reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Shadow

The purpose of Facebook, to post cat videos.

Lol!

**Poisoned Youth** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Shadow

The purpose of Facebook, to post cat videos.

More like elephants and donkeys.

**Poisoned Youth** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Enid

One question I hope people will answer is why most people in my life insist on giving me a hassle about not being on there? I find that completely insane. Has anyone else ever had an experience like this? What forms this kind of pressure? What difference does it make? Life is so good without it.

It seems you don't really want an answer to your question and just wanted to rant. I suppose that is okay, but I do think Scott answered your question from the perspective of your manager as to at least "why".

If you don't want to be there, don't be there.

I *personally* don't see much distinction between FB and PE - in its broadest sense. They are both social networks. The experiences for both are quite different. The users as a group and the moderators control the content on PE (to some degree). On Facebook, you have much more control over what you share, what you see, and who you interact with.

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Scott Bails

Excuse me while I make sure that I'm not walking on your lawn.

I'm kidding. Sort of.

It's a sad (for some) fact that social media is here to stay, and a major resource for people to communicate. But, like any form of communication, it can be abused and misunderstood. You take the good with the bad. It's a great way to stay in touch with friends or family who don't live nearby, but you often then have to be subjected to their vacation photos, political rants, and Internet memes that they apparently find hilarious but are really kind of stupid. Not to mention being told that if you don't share their post, you then hate babies and kittens.

Regarding your manager, it sounds like he wants you to participate in promoting the band and interacting with fans while you just want to go out and play the music. Unfortunately, without promotion, you're not going to be playing for anyone but yourself. Very few musicians can take the Neil Peart route.

Thanks for the insight. I'm very kind/sweet to people at gigs and I have a good reputation on the circuit. The band is booked between 2 to 3 nights a week 4 months in advance. I was surprised when people came across like..."Oh you must be the guitar player that's too "stuck up" to be on F.B. That aspect I don't totally understand. First of all, not that they are literally saying those words, but ARE in fact relaying that message and going out of their way to make sure I know. That I do not understand. I'm not hurting anybody, but I'm being treated like a person who does. Since when do people react that way about Facebook? Do you personally feel that is an extreme reaction? I mean...why would people in general make a huge deal out of it? I'm not trying to hurt or insult anyone. Is it the dependency they have on F.B. that causes them to react so seriously? How can that be? I'm trying to understand the concept

**progeezer** · 07-26-2016

There are others who feel that the insidiousness of FB trumps the convenience (raises hand).

I shall go to my grave (or urn) without it.

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Poisoned Youth

It seems you don't really want an answer to your question and just wanted to rant. I suppose that is okay, but I do think Scott answered your question from the perspective of your manager as to at least "why".

If you don't want to be there, don't be there.

I *personally* don't see much distinction between FB and PE - in its broadest sense. They are both social networks. The experiences for both are quite different. The users as a group and the moderators control the content on PE (to some degree). On Facebook, you have much more control over what you share, what you see, and who you interact with.

Okay....it probably sounds like a rant. I was afraid this would happen. I'm misunderstanding why people act offended because I don't go on F.B. anymore. Why are they trying to persuade me? Because they like me? That's okay if they do because I like them. I suppose I'm expecting some respect for privacy. If someone wants privacy...I give it to them. Then the next time they see me at a showcase and they are playing in one of the bands, they often feel comfortable around me. I'm the same way. I might be brave typing on a keyboard but shy away from conversations in public. It's probably because I'm in the music business. If I have a whole of two friends on Facebook, my silly face is circulating in many other circles on Facebook because of being in a band. But I didn't think by being in the music business, that I would have obligations to all these people. I am very hospitable to them at shows, but maybe a social network like F.B. gets personal and difficult to deal with. I don't care about what I do and I'm only using that for an example to observe the reaction of a majority of the social media on there. I'm not used to this stuff and I assume I did the wrong thing by leaving. I'm more used to the 70's and 80's and shut up and play your guitar.

**Rune Blackwings** · 07-26-2016

I don't think I would have found quite a few bands I currently listen to without Myspace, Facebook and others.

**ronmac** · 07-26-2016

There are many social media experts who post on behalf of their clients. You should not have to become a FB user if you don't want to. Tell your manager that that is what publicists are for. Do musicians write their own press releases? No. Do they build their own websites or design their own CD covers? Usually only the shitty ones. There are also tons of musician FB pages where the musician doesn't post. There's nothing stuck up about it. Some are too busy. Others are just not comfortable with it. And, there are plenty of assholes out there with no lives and ridiculous expectations who could drag you down into the mud.

That being said, FB is a great tool for promoting certain types of businesses, and that includes bands. If you want to spread the word, promote an event and don't want to bother with the money pit of advertising, it's really great for that.

I have a personal FB page, but only because I HAD to have one before I could create a business one. I hate it, but it's a necessary evil, and an affordable way to promote my own expertise. I don't rely on it to grow my business, though, because it's not the best vehicle for me. But, if I was a pet-sitter our housecleaner, there's really no better way to spread the word than using all of those happy customers.

What really sucks is that, if I wanted to get, say political, I can't do that on my FB page, anyway. There are just too many narrow-minded potential clients out there who cannot agree to disagree and will hold my views against me. So, my personal FB page is about as boring as they get.

**spellbound** · 07-26-2016

I don't use Facebook, by personal preference. I have never felt pressured to join. I don't have a band, or a business to promote. If I need to contact someone, there are still ways to do that without Facebook.

**Zeuhlmate** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by spellbound

I don't use Facebook, by personal preference. I have never felt pressured to join. I don't have a band, or a business to promote. If I need to contact someone, there are still ways to do that without Facebook.

- how odd it even may sound

I have an anonymous account I use to access info, but I dont use it for personal communication, or to show photos of the latest meal I had.

**Gizmotron** · 07-26-2016

I don't "do" FB but I think i have a good sense of the pros and cons from seeing my wife and rellies' experiences (and feeling pressure from friends that are on FB). There is lots of accurate info here but I'll add my two cents.

One must understand that one's work often involves doing things one would rather not do. Promotion is one of those things. Tooting one's own horn (or one's business) is work. It is often not enjoyable. FB can be good for promotion for certain businesses. I'd probably submit if i were in a gigging band.

Yes, there are lots of cool things to be seen on FB. For many parents, it is the only way they really know what their kids (or nieces/nephews) are up to. But there is lots of junk and time-wasters on it too. It does take a sizable amount of time to stay abreast. There are several negative elements about it though. I feel it promotes a selfish, "me, me, me" society where we become more and more narcissistic. We feel that the smallest details and decisions of our lives really matter to our friends and rellies.

In my opinion, the reason many people like to be on FB is that they are simply lazy when it comes to communication. Without FB, one must take the time and effort to communicate with each friend, relative, and associate. I might tell 5 friends about the cool experiences I had on vacation, at a concert, or on a hike. But I will tailor each email or phone call to that person. By going to this trouble I am tacitly saying to each person that they are important enough for me to go to that effort. It is a sign of respect. I then have a full and active sense of that person and they of me. We constantly adjust to and learn from each other. We both feel that it is a genuine interaction free of the possibility that I am posing or posturing for the benefit of others or to stroke my own ego. But when people really get taken with FB they adopt a billboard style of communicating. They post a basic description. They post a few generic photos. It efficiently disseminates the info but in a stilted, impersonal, and rather smarmy or at the very least, self-promotional way. It is more akin to advertising: create a distilled, lowest common denominator message that averages the interests of your friends and tossing out that impersonal message while expecting that they will be satisfied and feel a connection. That makes perfect sense for the people in the public eye such as musicians, actors, artists, etc. But it certainly is not the way I choose to make and keep friends.

In several cases, I have sought out old friends via normal research on the web. I then called or wrote those people. My experience is that those that do not FB will respond with like communication; they maintain the newly opened friendship for months. But those that are on FB drop the personalized communication after a few goes because they are put out by the effort of writing a tailored paragraph. They want to go back to the ease of posting one general thing that covers all of their needs.

Laziness. Rules. Their. Lives.

It doesn't bother me that people choose this. It is just not for me. But I do have concerns for diminished personal safety that people often experience when they publish their every move on FB. I'd rather not encourage that.

Anyway, it is a complex decision to make. Good luck to the OP's band!

**Zeuhlmate** · 07-26-2016

And notice that the youngsters (like my son at 15) are moving away from FB.
- snapchat, instagram, twitter, etc. - and who knows next year.

**No Pride** · 07-26-2016

I held out for years (though people kept telling me I should join), but I finally gave in and signed up in January. I'm glad I did; I've been talking to people I haven't been in touch with for 40 years. I'm listening to a lot of great music that people post there too (truth be told, I'm actually more into jazz and fusion than prog and there's a lot of like minded folks hanging out there). There's things I don't like about it, like all of the political ranting and some uber self indulgence, but all in all, I'm glad I joined. I actually haven't hung out here very much since. I still love PE; I just needed a change.

I've even picked up a few extra music gigs from being there!

**SteveSly** · 07-26-2016

I think you will find a lot of different opinions regarding Facebook on this board. Personally I have become a bit of an addict. Although, there are some specific things that I find annoying, for the most part Facebook has become a part of my life. It is a fantastic way to keep up with friends / family who live in other parts of the country. Being a prog fan, there are a lot of people who I may only actually see once or twice a year at a music festival, but with Facebook I and can keep up / communicate with them, almost like they live in my home town. I also find a lot of knowledge / information about bands and music from Facebook. I subscribe to artists that I enjoy and often find new artists from links from Facebook. From a promotional perspective social media has become a necessity, although as others mention, it also opens you up to unfiltered comments from people who can sit with anonymity behind their computer keyboard. As Roger Waters put it, “the bravery of being out of range” gives people a lot of guts. People will say things on line that they would never say to your face, although that can be true of music boards like this one as well.

**ronmac** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by Zeuhlmate

And notice that the youngsters (like my son at 15) are moving away from FB.
- snapchat, instagram, twitter, etc. - and who knows next year.

How about some eye contact?

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by ronmac

There are many social media experts who post on behalf of their clients. You should not have to become a FB user if you don't want to. Tell your manager that that is what publicists are for. Do musicians write their own press releases? No. Do they build their own websites or design their own CD covers? Usually only the shitty ones. There are also tons of musician FB pages where the musician doesn't post. There's nothing stuck up about it. Some are too busy. Others are just not comfortable with it. And, there are plenty of assholes out there with no lives and ridiculous expectations who could drag you down into the mud.

That being said, FB is a great tool for promoting certain types of businesses, and that includes bands. If you want to spread the word, promote an event and don't want to bother with the money pit of advertising, it's really great for that.

I have a personal FB page, but only because I HAD to have one before I could create a business one. I hate it, but it's a necessary evil, and an affordable way to promote my own expertise. I don't rely on it to grow my business, though, because it's not the best vehicle for me. But, if I was a pet-sitter our housecleaner, there's really no better way to spread the word than using all of those happy customers.

What really sucks is that, if I wanted to get, say political, I can't do that on my FB page, anyway. There are just too many narrow-minded potential clients out there who cannot agree to disagree and will hold my views against me. So, my personal FB page is about as boring as they get.

I believe there is a lot of value in what you say.

**Enid** · 07-26-2016

Facebook probably didn't appeal to me personally. I think it's just a matter of taste. In 2000 I was writing, recording and releasing music. Some had the essence of what I had written in the 70's and 80's and I wanted to complete it. Then I had a child and raised her in a environment that was quiet and secluded. It had a profound affect on my life and I gave up music for a few years to do that. It was a very private lifestyle and I tried to avoid people that attempted to contact me about music. I started her on The Beatles and she eventually ended up singing songs by Omega, Kayak, Curved Air and Gentle Giant. Now she's age 15 and singing beautifully....and making plans to be involved in music . I just felt that surrounding my life with people would have been counter-productive. Facebook is sort of difficult for me because people get to know your business and unfortunately some people can produce negative energies that can ruin something special. On Progressive Ears...there are lots of musicians sharing ideas and having conversation that actually doesn't differ all that much from being at a gathering in a studio...so P.E. is very cool in that way. Now that I'm back at writing and recording again, ...it feels like an extension of my lifeline ..but I wouldn't announce it on F.B. because it's a very private experience. It's cool to discuss it with musicians on P.E. because it feels like it's being taken for what it is and not some judgement brought forth about the music ....and additionally no pressure to rush it.