The Damn I'm Old Thread - Putting Up With Being a Geezer

**mozo-pg** · 08-17-2021

Please accept my condolences Tony.

**Jerjo** · 08-17-2021

My deepest sympathies on your loss and support for all the rigmarole to come finalizing everything. It never seems to end until it finally does.

**Duncan Glenday** · 08-17-2021

Originally Posted by TheLoony

Mom passed.

So sorry to read this!

**moecurlythanu** · 08-17-2021

My sympathy, Tony. I know it's probably hard to see now, but better days are ahead.

**Lou** · 08-17-2021

Very sorry for your loss Tony.

**ronmac** · 08-17-2021

Sorry, Tony. If there is a better place, she's there.

**Lopez** · 08-18-2021

My heart breaks for you, Tony. As corny as that sounds, I mean it.

There are only three members of the previous generation left in my family: my mom, my dad's sister, and my mom's sister. I don't look forward to the inevitable.

**SteveSly** · 08-18-2021

Originally Posted by TheLoony

Yeah, it's real tough. Thinking the person you knew is still in there somewhere.

Mom passed.

I'm done crying. I'd rather laugh.

Very sorry for your loss.

**Plasmatopia** · 08-18-2021

Originally Posted by TheLoony

Mom passed.

I'm done crying. I'd rather laugh.

Very sorry for your loss. Hope some better days are ahead.

**TheLoony** · 08-19-2021

Ok, got the cremation set up and boy what a racket that is but these guys like us, we gave them my Sis's hubby there a couple years ago and it was only $1,100.

Regardless of the money aspect, Sis wanted me to pick out the scatter box and I picked two and one was what she put her husband in two years ago.

That leaves one and it was called Autumn Winds and, well, "Autumn winds and winter skies" from Rush's Analog Kid.

I couldn't tell my sister, I thought that would have been crass. She may have loved it, I don't know but I just couldn't break her heart any more than it already is. It's really quite pretty, though, even if we are very far from Autumn Woods.

Actually so very far from that it's funny but I think Mom would have liked the inside joke. I'm the funny person in the family but Mom did have a liking for black comedy. Sis is not so much but I don't fault her for not understanding Monty Python and the weirdness that has made me. Like when I put the hammers from The Wall on the car, she's like what the hell is that?

With your buildings and your eyes
Autumn Woods and winter skies
Open sea and city lights
Busy streets and dizzy skies

You move me
You call me

Yeah I paraphrased but it's still cool lyrics and means a little bit to me. I think it's hopefully fitting.

**ronmac** · 08-19-2021

^^ Beautiful, man.

**Shadow** · 08-19-2021

Originally Posted by TheLoony

Ok, got the cremation set up and boy what a racket that is but these guys like us, we gave them my Sis's hubby there a couple years ago and it was only $1,100.

Regardless of the money aspect, Sis wanted me to pick out the scatter box and I picked two and one was what she put her husband in two years ago.

That leaves one and it was called Autumn Winds and, well, "Autumn winds and winter skies" from Rush's Analog Kid.

I couldn't tell my sister, I thought that would have been crass. She may have loved it, I don't know but I just couldn't break her heart any more than it already is. It's really quite pretty, though, even if we are very far from Autumn Woods.

Actually so very far from that it's funny but I think Mom would have liked the inside joke. I'm the funny person in the family but Mom did have a liking for black comedy. Sis is not so much but I don't fault her for not understanding Monty Python and the weirdness that has made me. Like when I put the hammers from The Wall on the car, she's like what the hell is that?

With your buildings and your eyes
Autumn Woods and winter skies
Open sea and city lights
Busy streets and dizzy skies

You move me
You call me

Yeah I paraphrased but it's still cool lyrics and means a little bit to me. I think it's hopefully fitting.

When my mother passed in January of 2020 the cremation was around $875. I couldn't justify $10,000 for a funeral for just my immediate family and one cousin on my mother's side. When we got there they brought out the wrong urn the first time. I guess you get what you pay for.

**mozo-pg** · 08-19-2021

So well stated Tony. I lost my mom and dad within 3 days of each other - after an over 50 year marriage. I still miss then even though that was 10 years ago. My dad went second, after he heard mom died, his heart was broken and he gave up. RIP.

**jake** · 08-19-2021

Originally Posted by mozo-pg

So well stated Tony. I lost my mom and dad within 3 days of each other - after an over 50 year marriage. I still miss then even though that was 10 years ago. My dad went second, after he heard mom died, his heart was broken and he gave up. RIP.

Jeez I thought I had it rough when my mother-in-law and father-in-law died 8 months apart. She passed within 10 days of a lung cancer diagnosis and her first chemo session overwhelmed her. He had Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and lymphoma and died in a nursing home as we were trying to get my wife and sister-in-law’s lives back on track. They are Jewish and When we were sitting shiva we heard a knock at the door, I answered assuming it was a friend or relative paying their respects. It was a guy serving us with papers from the nursing home suing us for $40,000 - gotta love the American medical system.

**Rarebird** · 08-20-2021

Loosing loved ones is always hard, no mather how old they were.
My mom died in December 2002, aged 78 and I still miss her. Perhaps not as much as earlier, but she is still in my mind. She was a very active lady when she was still alive and she died very suddenly. When she died I got a lot of support on PE.
My dad died in Dezember last year, aged 92. The last year his health was deterioting a bit and sometime he was a bid confused.
I could change the title of a Green Day song to 'Wake me up when Dezember ends'.

My aunt (my mother's sister) died on my birthday, just a few weeks before her 90th birthday.

Today I met a lady who live near me. I used to ran into her occasionally, but this time, I hadn't seen her for at least 9 months. We had a nice conversation and she appeared to 1 year older than I am. Her health is defenitly not as good as mine, driving an invalid scooter (if that is the right word). I suppose I can really count my blessings.

**mozo-pg** · 08-20-2021

Originally Posted by jake

Jeez I thought I had it rough when my mother-in-law and father-in-law died 8 months apart. She passed within 10 days of a lung cancer diagnosis and her first chemo session overwhelmed her. He had Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and lymphoma and died in a nursing home as we were trying to get my wife and sister-in-law’s lives back on track. They are Jewish and When we were sitting shiva we heard a knock at the door, I answered assuming it was a friend or relative paying their respects. It was a guy serving us with papers from the nursing home suing us for $40,000 - gotta love the American medical system.

Unbelievable - sorry that you had to deal with such bullshit.

**TheLoony** · 08-20-2021

Originally Posted by ronmac

^^ Beautiful, man.

What's funny also is it took me a few minutes to figure it out. I had this autumn woods lurking right in the front of my brain after seeing it on the page but it took me about fifteen minutes to realize what my mind was trying to tell me.

Was just out doing some early morning raking before it gets too hot and had the song running through my head. The line "When I leave I don't know I'm hoping to find and when I leave I don't know what I'm leaving behind" is kinda poignant. Has nothing to do with death but out of context it hit me a little bit.

I'd like to hope she knew what she was leaving behind but I really doubt it as her mind was oatmeal for so long.

Well, I do think it's time to move on from this subject. Ain't much more to be said. We'll get her ashes and spread them near where she wanted them to be but that area is now someones home. Just have to make do.

**Vic2012** · 08-20-2021

I have my brother's ashes in a box, in a closet. Not sure if I should give him a proper memorial, burial, .....or put his ashes in the ocean around Key West. He was born in Key West.

**Duncan Glenday** · 08-20-2021

Originally Posted by Vic2012

.....or put his ashes in the ocean around Key West. He was born in Key West.

I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know the circumstances - but this ^^^ is what I'd do.

Maybe I'd take a vacation, go on a dolphin cruise out toward the Dry Tortugas, and spread the ashes over the side ... then, in his honor, enjoy a great vacation in Key West. (Love that place, but hate the daytime heat. That's why it's a great night-time venue.)

Tough decision.

**Vic2012** · 08-20-2021

Originally Posted by Duncan Glenday

I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know the circumstances - but this ^^^ is what I'd do.

Maybe I'd take a vacation, go on a dolphin cruise out toward the Dry Tortugas, and spread the ashes over the side ... then, in his honor, enjoy a great vacation in Key West. (Love that place, but hate the daytime heat. That's why it's a great night-time venue.)

Tough decision.

That's a good idea. My problem is I'd feel like I'm dumping his ashes just to get rid of them.

**ronmac** · 08-20-2021

Originally Posted by Vic2012

That's a good idea. My problem is I'd feel like I'm dumping his ashes just to get rid of them.

Would he rather have that or be stashed away in a closet. I think it's a good idea, but I didn't know your brother.

Plus, his ashes might be in the ocean, but he will still be in your heart.

**Vic2012** · 08-20-2021

I've heard it is illegal to dump human ashes in the ocean (at least in Florida). But I think he'd approve of having his remains put in the ocean around the Keys.