Prog rock humor

[bennymania]

Q. How many prog lead singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Just one. He merely holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

[Garden Dreamer]

On the liner notes of Horslips' "Dancehall Sweethearts" album - "FILE UNDER REASONABLY POPULAR"

[GuitarGeek]

the first star wars was not even predicted to be as successful as it was.

Star Wars and Ralph Bakshi's Wizards were both released by 20th Century Fox at around the same time. Wizards was doing pretty good for a non-Disney animated film, and was on it's way to breaking even...

but a funny thing happened at the box office. This movie that nobody really thought was gonna do well, this Star Wars thing, turned out to be shit hot. The popularity was such that house after house after house was sold out. People really wanted to see this movie. And to see it again. And again. And again.

So to meet demand, Fox pulled Wizards out of the theaters where it was playing, so they free up more screens to show Star Wars. And thus ended the profiteering on Wizards (which is perhaps the best movie Bakshi ever made, with the possible exception of American Pop).

[Valen]

Why do prog rockers make better lovers?

We like different time signatures,

We can go on for a long time, and

...We always finish with a big climax!

[ThomasKDye]

That whole Tull exchange was terrible. But brilliant.

I wouldn't Pegg it that way, it really was a face-Palmer.

[trurl]

Why do prog rockers make better lovers?

We like different time signatures,

We can go on for a long time, and

...We always finish with a big climax!

And we still insist on using big heavy organs.

[Progatron]

I wouldn't Pegg it that way, it really was a face-Palmer.

Good 'Evans! What a terrible joke.

[GuitarGeek]

The second time I saw Jethro Tull, they were playing without an opening band. After the first song (Life Is A Long Song), Ian says hello and explains how "It's such an honor to be here tonight, opening for Jethro Tull!"

[Scott Bails]

Sad to say, the worst prog-rock joke I've heard today is Yes' Heaven & Earth.

[Halmyre]

Good 'Evans! What a terrible joke.

Yes, very corn(ick)y.

[Rune Blackwings]

Star Wars and Ralph Bakshi's Wizards were both released by 20th Century Fox at around the same time. Wizards was doing pretty good for a non-Disney animated film, and was on it's way to breaking even...

but a funny thing happened at the box office. This movie that nobody really thought was gonna do well, this Star Wars thing, turned out to be shit hot. The popularity was such that house after house after house was sold out. People really wanted to see this movie. And to see it again. And again. And again.

So to meet demand, Fox pulled Wizards out of the theaters where it was playing, so they free up more screens to show Star Wars. And thus ended the profiteering on Wizards (which is perhaps the best movie Bakshi ever made, with the possible exception of American Pop).

Wow. I ought to look for Wizards.

Dark Crystal's timing was bad, too. Had it been released a few months earlier or later, it would have not had to go up against a film about a galactic turd with a glowing chest light trying to phone home using stuff harvested from a yard sale...

[PeterG]

Why do prog rockers make better lovers?

I thought it was "Welfare Mothers Make Better Lovers"

[GuitarGeek]

Wow. I ought to look for Wizards.

It's a pretty good movie. Bakshi claims it was his attempt at a "family" movie, but there's some pretty graphic bits of violence in the picture, and you can see Elinore's nipples through her dress. And there's also a heavy dose of sarcasm and satire. The whole thing is an allegory on on the potentially destructive powers of technology and propaganda, with some rather heavy handed allusions to the Nazis, Israel, and the rise of fascism.

Dark Crystal's timing was bad, too. Had it been released a few months earlier or later, it would have not had to go up against a film about a galactic turd with a glowing chest light trying to phone home using stuff harvested from a yard sale...

Oh man, I probably haven't seen Dark Crystal in over 30 years. I need to get that one on DVD.

Another movie I remember that happening to was Dragonslayer. I don't think it was the initial release, maybe they put it back into theaters the following year (assuming the release dates given on Wikipedia are accurate), but it was playing at the same time as Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan. My family went to see the Star Trek movie at the old Cedar Center movie theater, where both movies were theoretically playing. I say theoretically, because what happened was there was this huge line for Star Trek II, with not many (if any at all) people interested in seeing Dragonslayer. Apparently, they had two prints on hand for Star Trek II, so instead of showing Dragonslayer, they were showing Star Trek II on both screens, to meet the demand.

[trurl]

I love Wizards, even though it has some horribly dated hippie humor. It's the only Bakshi movie I can sit through. Dark Crystal is a stone cold classic in my book. It even stars Steve Howe as the gelfling! Just watched Dragonslayer last week and it really holds up well.

[smackiepipe]

Count me in for the 'Dragonslayer' and 'Wizards' love.

Old stale prog joke from the 70s:

"Who's the best Bassist in Emerson Lake & Palmer?
Keith's Left Hand.

[aokjoey]

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Progressive_Rock

I like how it starts off----

"Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Elitism?"

Be sure to click the Yes link. I am in my office peeing on the floor laughing as everyone looks at me strangely...
An example:
"The early days in the studio were tough times for Yes. After 8 months spent trying to write music, Jon Anderson realised he didn’t have a pen. As a result of this, a method of recording was developed called “Sound Chasing” where the five members (except for Bill Bruford who didn’t have a sound chasing warrant because he wasn’t a musician) would run around the studio chasing after the reverberations of whoever was recording next door and try to capture the sounds in a bucket. Of course this didn’t work; they were using the wrong kind of bucket. "

Couldn't find a pen? OMG. So J A!!!

[Garden Dreamer]

I wasn't there, but I read about this on PE. Japanese female keyboard trio Ars Nova was playing a Nearfest and one of the road crew was on stage between songs fixing something and he says into the mike, "I not with band. I have penis."

[firth5th]

Knock-knock-knock-KNOK knock-knock knock-knock-knock

Whose there?

Prog jokester

Prog jokester who ?

Prog jokester in 9/8.

[Halmyre]

Be sure to click the Yes link. I am in my office peeing on the floor laughing as everyone looks at me strangely...
An example:
"The early days in the studio were tough times for Yes. After 8 months spent trying to write music, Jon Anderson realised he didn’t have a pen. As a result of this, a method of recording was developed called “Sound Chasing” where the five members (except for Bill Bruford who didn’t have a sound chasing warrant because he wasn’t a musician) would run around the studio chasing after the reverberations of whoever was recording next door and try to capture the sounds in a bucket. Of course this didn’t work; they were using the wrong kind of bucket. "

Couldn't find a pen? OMG. So J A!!!

The Yes entry is brilliant.

[tom unbound]

The Yes entry is brilliant.

I agree ! It could be updated a bit though....

[Digital_Man]

I saw Porcupine Tree in Philly(this was two nights after their Nearfest performance in 2001). At some point Steven Wilson goes off about pop music and how bad most of it is these days and mentions Britanny Spears. Some guy in the audience yells out "Britanny Spears sucks!" Steve Wilson responds with "you wish!"

[Digital_Man]

I wasn't there, but I read about this on PE. Japanese female keyboard trio Ars Nova was playing a Nearfest and one of the road crew was on stage between songs fixing something and he says into the mike, "I not with band. I have penis."

I think I remember this now that you mention it. It was also humorous when the keyboard player for Banco would lean over in his sit like he was farting while the synthesizer made farting sounds.