Prog Rock Limericks

[WytchCrypt]

Every once in a while I like to try and come up with some prog rock limericks - I know I know, I'm easily amused Anyway, here's a few to get things started, feel free to join in!

There once was a player named Fripp
His musical skills were a trip
Though he never could sing
He became Crimson King
Take a picture of him and he'd flip!

"I once wrote some poems" said Hammill
"That were dark and too dreary for Camel"
I asked Guy and Hugh
If they thought they would do
and they said "You're one sick twisted mammal!"

Wakeman on keyboards could wail
And his solo's were great without fail
'Till the Topograph tour
Made him sick - but his cure
Was to eat some curry with his Tales!

[Dave (in MA)]

There once was a fellow named Hackett
Whose guitar made a wonderful racket
He then did conspire
With a bassist named Squire
What we ended up with was Squackett.

I started with something about a mellotron from Nantucket, but got nowhere...

[bob_32_116]

There once was a drummer named Phil
Who played with exceptional skill.
At the microphone stand
He wasn't so grand
He pranced round the stage like a dill.

There once was a banker named Tony
Revered as a many-trick pony
His songs, one and all
Held the listeners in thrall
But earned him no contracts with Sony.

There once was an angel called Peter
Who sang in a very strange meter
When told this was so
He said "Yes I know
But the crazy time signatures sound so much more interesting than they would if they were neater."

There was a mechanic named Mike
He played on "I Know What I Like".
and, when they were three,
"Follow You Follow Me"
and later helped drive the last spike.

[PeterG]

There But the crazy time signatures sound so much more interesting that they would if they were neater."

Than, surely.

[PeterG]

A geezer from Surrey called Tim
punked it up with his brother named Jim
Then they went all post-rock
And the media got a shock
But a shock's what you get from a Cardiac Arrest....

[PeterG]

A wild eyed girl called Kate
Sang of spitfires and weddings and dates
Then she ran up the hill
Paid every bill
That elegant woman called Kate

[bob_32_116]

Than, surely.

Fixed the typos.

[PeterG]

His name was Syd (but really Roger)
He was as cheeky as the artful dodger
He blew his mind with lots of pills
Then he couldn't play lead or fills
That Crazy Diamond Syd (but really Roger)

[llanwydd]

There was a limerick contest at the Yahoo Yes Club many years ago. I put in three. The one I can remember went over well. Here it is.

There was an old singer named Jon
Who in concert once found his voice gone.
Yelled the keyboardist, Rick,
"Let me try an old trick",
and he overdubbed with mellotron.

[WytchCrypt]

There was a limerick contest at the Yahoo Yes Club many years ago. I put in three. The one I can remember went over well. Here it is.

I ran into a couple good Yes ones a few months ago...

There once was a band called Yes
What they sang of was anyone's guess
From rearranging livers
To heads under rivers
They made no ladies undress

Jon from a faraway planet
flew a spaceship and knew how to man it:
His trustworthy crew
was a Russian Khatru,
but none of them knew how to land it.

[progcd54]

There once was a band named UK
Many people thought sounded OK
But with no Bruford on drums
And A. Holdsworth who strums
What remained was in great disarray

There once was a singer named Morse
Left his bandmates without much discourse
When asked for the reason
He replied "It's a new season"
And his direction came right from the Source

There once was a band named Yes
Where the name came from is anyone's guess
With a Howe and a Squire
To perform a Suite's Fire
And lyrics that too easily digress

There once was music called Prog
Many listeners were left in a fog
With songs that dragged on
And on and on and on...
And stories of guards from Magog

I'll leave you with one thing to ponder
Of this music that's from near and yonder
We got fairies and elves
On many CD's on shelves
From many bucks we were all forced to squander

[BobM]

There once was a site called "Prog Ears"
Where members endured many jeers
For liking these bands
Whose music was grand
But misunderstood by their peers

[PeterG]

A band called XTC
Had an LP called Black Sea
But despite their name
Didn't sing about drugs
And Sgt. Rock is going to help me!

[PeterG]

There once was a rock called Prog
Disliked by his cousin called Frog
Which is music from France
To which we can dance
"But we can't dance to Prog," said Frog.

[bob_32_116]

I've just updated my list of Genesis limericks to include one for Mike, who was feeling left out.

[progeezer]

There was an old man named the Geezer
Who with prog tried to musically please her
But to this day, she is finicky Kay
So he has to play jazz to appease her

There once was a man, Jimmy Page
Who some would consider a sage
Post-Yardbirds he said, "I feel like I'm Led"
And made his new band all the rage

[progcd54]

There once was a man with a rhyme
Who's great words could stop on a dime
Of Gabriel and Banks
He offered up thanks
And was grateful for some Nursery Cryme

There once was a man known as King
And Crimson red was really his thing
He began in a Court
Which he soon would abort
Too bad he was unable to sing

There once was a band ELP
Three members is all we would see
Their music was a charmer
This Emerson, Lake and Palmer
As Lucky a Man could ever be

[Dave (in MA)]

They first had a singer named Mooney
Who used to carry on like a loony
And then came Suzuki
Who was equally kooky
Before they reconnected with Mooney

[WytchCrypt]

Don't think anyone's taken a shot at these 2 bands yet...

Jethro Tull once was a band
'till Ian got way out of hand
He fired the crew
Even Martin Barre too
Taking matters into his own hands!


A singer named Nichols was blue
'cause the neo-prog haters he knew
Claimed that he sucked
And his band was a bust
Which caused him to doubt his IQ!

[WytchCrypt]

I started with something about a mellotron from Nantucket, but got nowhere...

I just can't resist the challenge of making a G rated limerick with Nantucket

There once was a tron from Nantucket
That cost me a thousand gold Ducats
The tuning would drift
As the tape rack would shift
I tossed the damn thing in a bucket!

[progcd54]

I met a great player named Dave
Whose sax playing is still all the rave
He was once on the staff
Of a band VanderGraff
But left cause Peter can't behave

[progeezer]

For any who may not know this:

Limericks, per Mr. Limerick, Edward Lear, need to flow and have rhythm like a song. Adding syllables that throws that off are verboten!



A Jersey boy that they call Bruce
Felt his career needed some "juice"
The rocks in his mouth made him sound like the South
But his mumbling was somewhat obtuse

[simon moon]

I'm not too good at this, but here goes...


There once was a band called Henry Cow
Their style caused such a row
Many bands did they spawn
Commercially they did not catch on
To the record companies they refused to kowtow

[Birdy]

There once was a prog-ears website
Where most members thought they were right
But the term "progressive" became too obsessive
And all they did was fight.

Now this was a website for prog-heads
Who filled it with Genesis/Yes threads
And the fun of exploring
Became oh so boring
So they all lied awake in their beds

And they thought and they pondered 'til dawn
What new ideas they might spawn
And one of these members who was born in September
Decided while cutting his lawn,

That the site needed a real new direction
In fact a large spiritual injection
But the members said no, we don't want to change so,
We'll just ignore your silly perception.

So they went on day to day without fail
Discussing Relayer and Trick Of The Tail
Each idea was dissected, many members rejected
'Til they all decided to bail.



Happy Birthday Lino.

[simon moon]

Still trying....



There is a composer named Reich
Whose music many dislike
His style is minimalism
He caused quite a schism
The music establishment can go take a hike