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Thread: OptiquesJeff..the announcement I did not want to make

  1. #101
    Thanks everyone... Each day is a little worse than the one before it. 4 days with no food, so far, and I am not pushing him to eat anymore. I sometimes have to check his chest to see if he's still breathing, since he already looks dead when he's sleeping.. Extremely draining and stressful.. I am on my last nerve..

  2. #102
    Geriatric Anomaly progeezer's Avatar
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    You do have local support from friends & fam, don't you, Cyn?

    We all care deeply and want to help however we can, but geography's a bitch.
    "My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician, and to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference"

    President Harry S. Truman

  3. #103
    Quote Originally Posted by progeezer View Post
    You do have local support from friends & fam, don't you, Cyn?

    We all care deeply and want to help however we can, but geography's a bitch.
    Yes, we have had visitors every day, and his Mom comes every day, too.. Really, really helps. My sister has been over from LI too, several times (3 hour drive).

  4. #104
    Member ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Cyndee, please also consider any support groups available to you. I know that some people think that they are cheesy, but it can be very helpful to speak to people that have walked in your shoes in their own way.

    A big virtual, supportive hug to you!
    Esther

  5. #105
    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn View Post
    Cyndee, please also consider any support groups available to you. I know that some people think that they are cheesy, but it can be very helpful to speak to people that have walked in your shoes in their own way.

    A big virtual, supportive hug to you!
    Esther
    Thank you... I post on a cancer forum, and it's very helpful.. I also am in contact with Ken's wife (Arkangel3, who we lost a few months ago to lung cancer).

  6. #106
    Studmuffin Scott Bails's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViolinCyndee View Post
    I also am in contact with Ken's wife (Arkangel3, who we lost a few months ago to lung cancer).
    Let her know that we miss him and think about him all the time.
    Music isn't about chops, or even about talent - it's about sound and the way that sound communicates to people. Mike Keneally

  7. #107
    Serial Christopher Henry's Avatar
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    I'm just crushed to know what you're going though. I think of you guys often. I just don't know what else to say.

    Much love to the both of you.

    from Chris

  8. #108
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Bails View Post
    Let her know that we miss him and think about him all the time.
    Yes, I will.. xoxo

  9. #109
    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher Henry View Post
    I'm just crushed to know what you're going though. I think of you guys often. I just don't know what else to say.

    Much love to the both of you.

    from Chris
    Thank you Chris.. It's like a horror-show Twillight Zone. Relentless and surreal..

  10. #110
    UPDATE: Jeff Nutkowitz will have a change in painkillers. Rather than the diloudid, he will now have a patch that gets changed very 12 hours, so will have constant relief from pain. If he still has pain, he can get liquid morphene as needed. No more having to chew pills for him (he can't swallow them!)

  11. #111
    Quote Originally Posted by ViolinCyndee View Post
    UPDATE: Jeff Nutkowitz will have a change in painkillers. Rather than the diloudid, he will now have a patch that gets changed very 12 hours, so will have constant relief from pain. If he still has pain, he can get liquid morphene as needed. No more having to chew pills for him (he can't swallow them!)
    I hope this keeps Jeff pain-free and peaceful -- love to you both.

  12. #112
    Quote Originally Posted by VickiLynn View Post
    I hope this keeps Jeff pain-free and peaceful -- love to you both.
    Thanks Viciki.. xoxo

    So, Jeff has really had a noticeable decline this week. He hasn't eaten for 8 days straight, so far.. He is going in and out of sleep and lucidity, and didn't know who I was last night. When I asked him who I was, he said, "I don't know", and then he also said I was "a maid".

    We are still waiting for the painkiller patch to come in the mail. Hopefully, Monday, or I will have to call to check on it..

    Getting harder every day..

  13. #113
    Studmuffin Scott Bails's Avatar
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    (((hugs)))
    Music isn't about chops, or even about talent - it's about sound and the way that sound communicates to people. Mike Keneally

  14. #114
    Occipital Provocatee Plasmatopia's Avatar
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    You are both still in my thoughts, Cyndee.

  15. #115
    Member Casey's Avatar
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    Savor whatever morsel you can out of the remaining moments.

    If only we could send you our collective strength to help you endure. We can't; so we send you our love, instead.
    I've got a bike you can ride it if you like

  16. #116
    Quote Originally Posted by ViolinCyndee View Post

    So, Jeff has really had a noticeable decline this week. He hasn't eaten for 8 days straight, so far.. He is going in and out of sleep and lucidity, and didn't know who I was last night. When I asked him who I was, he said, "I don't know", and then he also said I was "a maid".

    We are still waiting for the painkiller patch to come in the mail. Hopefully, Monday, or I will have to call to check on it..

    Getting harder every day..
    Near the end, my brother wasn't able to say who I was. But I believed that on a different level, he knew. It's just that he wasn't able to articulate it with words. I just sat with him and held his hand. I felt like that transfer of touch was an understanding between us. It's difficult to explain - but it was a comfort.

    Thoughts with you both every day.

    -Amy

  17. #117
    Member moecurlythanu's Avatar
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    It's very difficult to read, Cyndee, but thanks for sharing with us. We're with you.
    "If you want to see the true nature of humanity, just look at the internet."

    http://www.discogs.com/user/moecurlythanu/collection

  18. #118
    My fb status today:
    UPDATE: today is Day 11 of Jeff not having any food. He is getting weaker each day, sleeping 24/7 and in and out of lucidity the few minutes a day he is awake. So painful for me to see his continual decline... This last phase feels so long.

  19. #119
    Hey Cyndee,

    I am so sorry to just be hearing about this. I dropped off Facebook some time ago, but had been wishing the best for you and Jeff. Just know that we are still thinking about you two down here in Texas. Prayers to the both of you.


    Bob

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  20. #120
    Jefferson James
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    I am heartbroken and extremely saddened to learn of the passing of one of the most passionate, knowledgeable and kind people I have ever had the good fortune to have met, Mr. Jeff Nutkowitz. I met Jeff and his lovely wife Cyndee at RoSfest back in 2011; Jeff was an encyclopedia of musical knowledge and all-around great guy, and his support of the progressive rock scene was not only admirable, but crucial in helping establish and maintain a tangible sense of community. Jeff will be missed by many and while this kind of physical transformations is difficult at best, my heart is relieved to know the man is no longer in pain and suffering. To Cyndee, my heart goes out to you.

  21. #121
    Member wideopenears's Avatar
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    My condolences, and may Jeff Rest In Peace.
    Cyndee, please take care of yourself now--you've spent so much energy taking care of Jeff, I am sure....please take care of yourself--I am sure Jeff would want nothing else than that.

  22. #122
    Traversing The Dream 100423's Avatar
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    Very sad news. My condolences, Cyndee.

  23. #123
    I was stunned to hear the news, for some reason I missed Cyndee's updates here and on Facebook and did not realize what she and Jeff had been going through the last couple months (I knew about the cancer but not that it was this far advanced). Very sorry I wasn't able to voice my support more along the way.

    I have fond memories of my times with Cyndee and Jeff (they graciously hosted me for a house concert at their place), Jeff was also a kind and enthusiastic supporter of my music.

    Cyndee, both you and Jeff will be on my mind a lot, and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.
    http://robmartino.com
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  24. #124
    Studmuffin Scott Bails's Avatar
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    So sorry, Cyndee.

    Considering all that he's been through, I'm one of those who has to believe that he's in a better place. Hollow words right now, I know.

    As wideopen says, make sure to take care of yourself now - no doubt these last few months have taken their toll. You know we're all here for you.
    Music isn't about chops, or even about talent - it's about sound and the way that sound communicates to people. Mike Keneally

  25. #125
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    Cyndee, I am so so sad to hear this. Please accept my sincere condolences.

    I will forever think of Jeff at various NEARfests, often in the side aisle, bopping and groovin along to the spaci-ness that was on stage.

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