Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 61

Thread: What is the significance of...a beard?

  1. #1
    Member Plasmatopia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Plague Sanctuary, Vermont
    Posts
    2,481

    What is the significance of...a beard?

    Beardfish
    Spock's Beard
    Out Of The Beardspace
    Beardfest


    Why? What is the universe telling us? What about beard sub-genres and mustaches? When can we expect a post-beard era? How do electrolysis and waxing fit in? When will there be too many beard-centric names? Will we be able to see the forest through the stubble? It would seem something is afoot in the beard-iverse.

    But seriously...why are beards being featured prominently in band names, etc? Is there a common thread of any sort? Is it all just whimsy and nonsense?

  2. #2
    Hired on to work for Mr. Bill Cox, a-fixin' lawn mowers and what-not, since 1964.

    "Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. It'll just knock over all the pieces, shit on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway." Anonymous

    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” George Carlin

  3. #3
    All Things Must Pass spellbound's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Eastern Sierra
    Posts
    3,113
    The only one of the Seven Dwarves who shaved was Dopey.
    We're trying to build a monument to show that we were here
    It won't be visible through the air
    And there won't be any shade to cool the monument to prove that we were here. - Gene Parsons, 1973

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    At your banquet
    Posts
    0

  5. #5
    Beard Hammer.



    Doesn't work.

    The only member of ZZ Top without a bigass beard is the guy named Beard. Understand this, and you will understand the universe. BTW, "beard" is a common euphemism for a spouse of someone who is trying to hide the fact that they're gay. So maybe the Spock's Beard thing has never been truly looked at in the proper light... ?
    Also, let us remember that William Riker was a douche until he grew a bread, and so was Sisko, and so was Janeway.


  6. #6
    I was gonna mention ass hair, but I guess this isn't the thread for that.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  7. #7
    I always reckoned they went with Spock's Beard because Uhura's Midriff was already taken.

  8. #8
    Parrots Ripped My Flesh Dave (in MA)'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    42°09′30″N 71°08′43″W
    Posts
    6,262
    Spock, get these men off me!

  9. #9
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    7,765
    Pubic hair names make it hard to find gigs in Middle America.

  10. #10
    Profondo Giallo Crystal Plumage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Sneek, The Netherlands
    Posts
    314
    HuGo
    "Very, very nice," said a man in the crowd,
    When the golden voice appeared.
    She was gold alright, but then so is rust.
    "Such a shame about the beard."

  11. #11
    Geriatric Anomaly progeezer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Madison, WI
    Posts
    11,318
    Quote Originally Posted by Banquo View Post
    For the few who may not know what SWLABR means: "She was like a bearded rainbow".
    "My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician, and to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference"

    President Harry S. Truman

  12. #12
    Member Vic2012's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    La Florida
    Posts
    7,550
    To be honest I've thought the same thing about the word "beard" appearing in a lot of prog group names. It seems really cornball. It stopped being cute and funny a long time ago.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by trurl View Post
    Beard Hammer.
    How about Glass Beard? Think of the possibilities for album titles! 'Growing Panes' and, uh...
    Nope. That's all I got.

  14. #14
    Studmuffin Scott Bails's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Near Philly, PA
    Posts
    6,583
    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarGeek View Post
    I always reckoned they went with Spock's Beard because Uhura's Midriff was already taken.
    I used to be on a forum with a fellow who called himself "Uhura's Short 'n' Curlies."



    /true story
    Music isn't about chops, or even about talent - it's about sound and the way that sound communicates to people. Mike Keneally

  15. #15
    I think Uhura's curlies were pretty long.

  16. #16
    That's Mr. to you, Sir!! Trane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    in a cosmic jazzy-groove around Brussels
    Posts
    6,091

    What is the significance of...a beard?

    You mean ZZ Top isn't prog??
    my music collection increased tenfolds when I switched from drug-addicts to complete nutcases.

  17. #17
    ALL ACCESS Gruno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Dio, Alabama
    Posts
    3,167
    To take this corny thread further, do you know what the term 'beard' is used for in pop culture?

    Beard definition

    Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexaul person the apperance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.

    Example: Half of the women on the red carpet at the movie premier were not real dates, but beards.
    a man or woman used as a cover for a gay partner
    hmmmmm.....

  18. #18
    Highly Evolved Orangutan JKL2000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Westchester, NY
    Posts
    16,529
    Christine Chapel's Merkin (merkin = pubic wig)


    When they released a cassette sampler before the first ProgFest, the band's name was mispelled as "Spock's Bread," which I thought was kind of funny.

  19. #19
    Parrots Ripped My Flesh Dave (in MA)'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    42°09′30″N 71°08′43″W
    Posts
    6,262
    Quote Originally Posted by rcarlberg View Post
    Pubic hair names make it hard to find gigs in Middle America.
    WHAT?!?
    Oh, sorry; I read too fast and didn't notice that you wrote "names".

  20. #20
    Member davis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Kentuckiana
    Posts
    395
    As my brother-in-law says, regarding the question 'does your carpet match your curtains?' nobody under 30 has carpet anymore.

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by davis View Post
    As my brother-in-law says, regarding the question 'does your carpet match your curtains?' nobody under 30 has carpet anymore.
    Sometimes there's a little area rug. Just to make a statement.

  22. #22
    Member BobM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ponte Vedra, FL
    Posts
    988
    Peter Gabriel didn't have a beard when in Genesis.
    Phil Collins did.

    'nuff said
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A gentleman is defined as someone who knows how to play the accordion, and doesn't.

  23. #23
    Member No Pride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Chicago, IL, USA
    Posts
    137
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    I was gonna mention ass hair, but I guess this isn't the thread for that.
    Is there a thread that is?

    The only significance of a beard for me is that it's the only hair I can grow above my neck. Okay... besides the stuff in my nose and ears. But enough about that, I don't want to get the ladies here all horny.

  24. #24
    Member Plasmatopia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Plague Sanctuary, Vermont
    Posts
    2,481
    There are ladies here?

    I like how this is turning into a nice repository of beard lore. I'm sure the Internet has been waiting for this exact moment to have all this info gathered in one place.

  25. #25
    Member BobM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ponte Vedra, FL
    Posts
    988
    Beard Lore
    Eons ago, there lived a God named Beardius. Being the second cousin of the God we all know today, he did not recieve much publicity, or you would have heard of him by now.

    One day, God came up to Beardius and claimed that he had a great idea to make the perfect new creature for his new planet 'Earth'. "I'm telling you, man," God said to Beardius, "This new creature is gonna be awesome. It's gonna walk upright, it's gonna count numbers, read, skip, breakdance.. All sorts of awesome stuff. I believe it may just be my greatest creation yet." God took out some blueprints and showed them to Beardius. He studied them for a very long time.

    "Well," God asked him impatiently. "What do you think?"

    Beardius, puzzled, pointed upon the chin of this 'human' blueprint. "Do you see what I see?" Beardius asked.

    God took the blueprint back and examined it. "I don't see what your talking about, Beardius. There isn't anything there!"

    "Exactly!" Beardius proclaimed, "It is so plain and boring upon the chins of your hairless 'Humans'. Why not give them a nice flowing beard?"

    "I dont know..", God said. "Maybe just a little peach fuzz on some of them. Hand me your vial of 'Instant Beard Growth' and I'll pour it on every other human." Beardius went to grab his vial, but then he had a thought. He couldn't stand the sight of such hairless beings. Why not up the dose a bit, and give every human a beard?

    God was busy mixing chemicals and things in his great cauldren. He was moments away from creating the first human batch. "Ok Beardius. You may pour a drop of your beard vial in, but no more than a drop! We don't want these things getting too hairy!"

    As Beardius was walking towards the vial, a puff of cloud caught his foot and caused him to trip! The entire vial of Instant Beard' was being poured into the cauldren! "You fool!" shouted God, "Quick! Hand me that Ladle! I'll try and scoop some of it out!"

    Try as he may, God could not get all of the hairy concoction out of the cauldren. "Dang it, Beardius! It was almost perfect! I was so close to achieving the perfect hu--"

    Just then, out of the couldren emerged the most divine, sofisticated, sexiest being God had ever seen: The first bearded man. "Beardius.. It's perfect." God said, amazed.

    http://nm.unca.edu/~cwillis/weblog/beards.html

    There are ladies here now!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A gentleman is defined as someone who knows how to play the accordion, and doesn't.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •