THE WORST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE? (post only one)

[Mascodagama]

I cried tears of hilarity the first time I saw this video, around the 2:13 mark or so. When that ridiculous guitar appears, as though being handed down to him by the gods... I was practically choking with laughter:



(I don't know why they can't have a better quality version up there, but it's good enough for these purposes.)

I don't think I've ever seen a band take the idea of “hair metal” quite so much to heart.

Amazing to realise this came out in 1989 and the band was actually formed in 1988, when the style had already been irrelevant for a good four years...though I suppose it ill becomes a prog fan to sneer at anyone for being behind the times.

[GuitarGeek]

That's the only thing I remember ever seeing by Nitro. I remember reading about Michael Angel Batio (that's the guitarist) in Guitar World, and I was curious to hear him play. Then I saw that video on Headbanger's Ball. I can remember actually feeling seasick when he went into that crazy tapping solo. I can remember thinking, "Ohhhhh, that's going too far".

Decades later, Michael Angelo appeared on That Metal Show, and he said that four necked guitar actually got stolen not long after they made that video.

Also, their singer, Jim Gillette, was married to Lita Ford for about 15 years. Apparently, their marriage fell apart after they started talking about doing a reality TV series. I recall, there was a gag on That Metal Show once where one of the idiots, not Trunk but one of the so called comedians was making salacious comments about Lita, and Gillette came up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders, ya know, like "Are you talking about my wife?!". The look on the wannabe comedian's face was hilarious, one of the few times he was actually funny.

[Dave (in MA)]

This doesn't exactly fit the thread, but it's too funny not to share.

https://www.tiktok.com/@mattjcutshal...598149?lang=en

[Progatron]

Amazing to realise this came out in 1989 and the band was actually formed in 1988, when the style had already been irrelevant for a good four years...though I suppose it ill becomes a prog fan to sneer at anyone for being behind the times.

True, not to mention a prog fan sneering at the excess. But then, Emerson with his wall of wires and Squire with his triple-neck somehow didn't come across so cartoonish. But I'm glad Nitro existed, it gives me a genuine belly laugh whenever I see it!

[TheLoony]

Does this qualify? Posted it before and it hurts people so it's gotta be up there somewhere.

[Rarebird]

I cried tears of hilarity the first time I saw this video, around the 2:13 mark or so. When that ridiculous guitar appears, as though being handed down to him by the gods... I was practically choking with laughter:



(I don't know why they can't have a better quality version up there, but it's good enough for these purposes.)

The ultimate hairmetal?

[moecurlythanu]

Amazing to realise this came out in 1989 and the band was actually formed in 1988, when the style had already been irrelevant for a good four years...

Not the way I remember it at all. Hair Metal dominated the last half of the 80s. Grunge stuck the dagger in it, although people were pretty ready for a change by the time it happened.

[dgtlman]

Then there's always this little gem:

[viukkis]

Paul Stanley once said it got to where a lot of videos looked like they were trying to remake Raiders Of The Lost Ark in under 4 minutes.

Trying to remake Raiders of the Lost Ark in 7 minutes is, if possible, even worse.

[Mascodagama]

Not the way I remember it at all. Hair Metal dominated the last half of the 80s. Grunge stuck the dagger in it, although people were pretty ready for a change by the time it happened.

I was thinking more of thrash being where the action was from the mid-eighties. At least that's how I remember it as a (British) teenager at the time. It became pretty difficult to think of stuff like Ratt, Poison or (God help us) Wrathchild as really even being metal once you'd heard Slayer, Metallica and Anthrax. I mean, I wasn't really a metal snob - hey, I saw WASP live and thought they were great! - but we knew what the real stuff was. Commercially it might have been a different story, of course.

[luvyesmusic]

I cried tears of hilarity the first time I saw this video, around the 2:13 mark or so. When that ridiculous guitar appears, as though being handed down to him by the gods... I was practically choking with laughter:



(I don't know why they can't have a better quality version up there, but it's good enough for these purposes.)

Here's a newer video. Mike is my favorite technical player, if you can even say that, and one heck of a nice guy. Spent some time with Mike and Elliot Rubenson of Dean guitars after a show, who was playing bass with him. CEO and owner of Dean guitars, Elliot played tours with folks like Michael Schenker and Uli Von Roth. Great guy who died a few months later of cancer.
https://youtu.be/31eReSNRrhU

[GuitarGeek]

Then there's always this little gem:

Dude, do NOT make fun of Bill Mumy! Anyoen who can go from Lost In Space to Fish Heads to Babylon 5 is a frelling genius!

[ThomasKDye]

I had no idea this existed. Speaking as someone who likes Drastic Measures (sue me) I really feel bad for the band for being forced to "act" in this video.

[GuitarGeek]

Trying to remake Raiders of the Lost Ark in 7 minutes is, if possible, even worse.

Oh good lord! I don't think I've ever seen that before. It was bad enough when he was singing Jim Steinman's overblown mini-epics, but to bring Diane Warren into it?! Excuse me while I go ralph.

It became pretty difficult to think of stuff like Ratt, Poison or (God help us) Wrathchild as really even being metal

Well, liked the first two or three Ratt records, and the first Poison record was ok. Wrathchild I don't think I've ever heard. One assumes they're named after the Iron Maiden song, no?

But you bring up an interesting point. I remember back in the late 90's, VH-1 had this series where each episode they'd have a panel of celebrities, and they'd each pick the three best of...whatever the topic for the show was. They'd have like four celebrities, each would pick three, then each would get to toss out one item from the list (say if guest A didn't like one guest B's suggestsions), the host would get to unilaterally veto one of the guest vetoes, and then from the list that was left over, the audience would vote on what the three best were.

So they did one one the three best metal bands. The guests were Stephen Pearcy from Ratt, Rob Halford from Judas Priest, some Playboy refugee chick, and I think there was one other, I can' tremember. So the Playboy chick, all of her picks were based off the fact that she had the hots for the lead singer of the given band. I can't remember which band she mentioned, I think it might have been either Kiss or Ratt, but Stephen Pearcy made the point that he didn't think of bands like Kiss or Ratt or other hard rock bands as being "heavy metal".

I dont' think anyone who cared about such things thought of Kiss or Ratt or Def Leppard as metal. The only people who thought they were metal were either idiots who didn't know what they were talking about (say, J.D. Considine, Dave Marsh or Tipper Gore) or...honestly, I don't know who else thought Ratt was "heavy metal".

To me, though, it was never about "the real thing" or whatever. I like Maiden, Priest, Kiss, Ratt, Leppard, Night Ranger, Dokken, ANthrax, etc. I wasn't that into thrash metal. I had ...And Justice For All and State Of Euphoria, and the first four Megadeth albums and that was it. Oh yeah, and I had a few Motorhead records, though that's not really thrash, is it? Never got into Slayer, their whole schtic struck me as being...unappealing, to put it politely. To me, Slayer is just the band Dave Lombardo was in before he started doing interesting stuff.

But getting back to the original point, maybe "thrash" was what "real metalheads" or whatever were into. Or at least, people who thought they were "real metalheads" or whatever. But the whole glam metal was still very popular in mainstream circles all the way through the 80's. I'm sick of people saying "grunge put a dagger in it". No, no, grunge just happened to come aroudn, just about the time that the shift in what was popular was going to happen.

You want to know who killed glam metal?! It was the frelling Ferengi run record companies, putting their usual "opportunities for profit" ahead of the music. They watered everything down to the point where it just became...ya know, stupid. Too many lame power ballads. Too many lame uptempo songs (Cherry Pie, anyone?). And too many bands who looked like they called up central casting and asked for five guys who looked like escapees from New Kids On The Block. Oh yeah, and too many lead singers looking into the camera, with that look in their eyes, like they were begging the female viewers to go down on him. Never ever beg for it. A good frontman, steps up and just assumes he's gonna get some head before the night is over. Or at least, he makes you think he's assuming it. Paul Stanley, David Lee Roth, Phil Lynott, Don Dokken, Stephen Peary Joe Elliott, even Noddy Holder, those guys never came off like they were begging. That was the difference between a good band like Ratt and a fifth rate act like Warrant.

[GuitarGeek]

re: Kansas, Everbody's My Friend

I had no idea this existed. Speaking as someone who likes Drastic Measures (sue me) I really feel bad for the band for being forced to "act" in this video.

The interesting thing is, the band members sort of have cameos only in the video. They're not like playing central characters to 'the story". Same thing with Supertramp's It's Raining Again video, the band members are on screen for like 10 seconds a piece and that's it.

[Mascodagama]

Well, liked the first two or three Ratt records, and the first Poison record was ok. Wrathchild I don't think I've ever heard. One assumes they're named after the Iron Maiden song, no?

Wrathchild was the UK's attempt at a hair metal band and they were...pretty feeble. Not surprised they never made it onto the radar in the US.



At least they didn't take themselves too seriously. One of their songs was called “Cock Rock Shock”.

Not sure if they were named after the Maiden track, I think they may actually have started out before Killers was released so it could be a coincidence.

[Mascodagama]

But you bring up an interesting point. I remember back in the late 90's, VH-1 had this series where each episode they'd have a panel of celebrities, and they'd each pick the three best of...whatever the topic for the show was. They'd have like four celebrities, each would pick three, then each would get to toss out one item from the list (say if guest A didn't like one guest B's suggestsions), the host would get to unilaterally veto one of the guest vetoes, and then from the list that was left over, the audience would vote on what the three best were.

So they did one one the three best metal bands. The guests were Stephen Pearcy from Ratt, Rob Halford from Judas Priest, some Playboy refugee chick, and I think there was one other, I can' tremember. So the Playboy chick, all of her picks were based off the fact that she had the hots for the lead singer of the given band. I can't remember which band she mentioned, I think it might have been either Kiss or Ratt, but Stephen Pearcy made the point that he didn't think of bands like Kiss or Ratt or other hard rock bands as being "heavy metal".

I dont' think anyone who cared about such things thought of Kiss or Ratt or Def Leppard as metal. The only people who thought they were metal were either idiots who didn't know what they were talking about (say, J.D. Considine, Dave Marsh or Tipper Gore) or...honestly, I don't know who else thought Ratt was "heavy metal".

As teenage fans in a northern town in England...I guess we didn't really have much by way of a thought process about what really was or wasn't metal...whatever was in Kerrang! (which we all read) was metal, pretty much. Which was mainly a mixture of classic seventies bands (Sabbath, Priest), NWOBHM and hair bands (they were very slow to grasp the new thing with thrash). And Mötörhead of course, who were really their own category - also the first band I ever saw live. Lemmy always said they weren't metal either, just rock'n'roll, but to us they were.

I don't want to overstate things, but when my mate John told me to come over to his house because he'd got a record I wouldn't believe - it was Ride The Lightning, which was the first thrash album we heard - there was complete excitement, and a sense that the landscape had changed. Of course nobody threw away their Mötley Crüe albums - there wasn't seen to be any contradiction involved in liking Crüe, Maiden, Purple, Metallica and Dead Kennedies, most of us liked them all - but the creative impetus pretty clearly was somewhere new.

[Mascodagama]

Here's a newer video. Mike is my favorite technical player, if you can even say that, and one heck of a nice guy. Spent some time with Mike and Elliot Rubenson of Dean guitars after a show, who was playing bass with him. CEO and owner of Dean guitars, Elliot played tours with folks like Michael Schenker and Uli Von Roth. Great guy who died a few months later of cancer.
https://youtu.be/31eReSNRrhU

With a new variation on the quad guitar!

[SunRunner2]

oga chaka, oga oga chaka ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5jkAkm4JmM

[Sturgeon's Lawyer]

In the late '70s I used to listen to the King Biscuit Flour Hour followed by Dr. Demento.

I love me some Barnes & Barnes.

[ThomasKDye]

re: Kansas, Everbody's My Friend



The interesting thing is, the band members sort of have cameos only in the video. They're not like playing central characters to 'the story". Same thing with Supertramp's It's Raining Again video, the band members are on screen for like 10 seconds a piece and that's it.

Or like the Beach Boys in "Getcha Back," which had a similar through-line as "It's Raining Again." I think it was a thing in early eighties videos to not feature the faces of "over the hill" bands in music videos that were designed for "big singles." (See also "Owner of a Lonely Heart.")

But still... look at Kerry Livgren at 2:39-2:42 and tell me you didn't cringe.

[Progatron]

But still... look at Kerry Livgren at 2:39-2:42 and tell me you didn't cringe.

Not as much as I cringe at Stephen Stills at (coincidentally) the 2:39-2:42 part of this video:

[hFx]

A big hit it was NOT, from 1967!

[the ferret]

I had no idea this existed. Speaking as someone who likes Drastic Measures (sue me) I really feel bad for the band for being forced to "act" in this video.

Count me in as another fan of Drastic Measures!

I'd not seen this before either. Rather enjoyed it in a silly sort of way.

[Jones the Jug]

The cringe-fest no one wants to talk about:


Billy Squier has nothing on Dee and the boys.

Hmmm, this video suddenly got blocked on YouTube despite having been on there for years.