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Thread: Childhood Should Have Killed Us - OK, Boomer Edition

  1. #176
    Wood and plywood sheath bike ramps with wicked angles erected up the curb next to the driveway. Driving our Schwinn Stingrays at full speed up the ramp and landing on the grass. Once my front wheel flew off mid air and I landed with such force that the front fork was stuck a good foot into the ground. I remember flying off, but I don't recall any broken bones.
    "And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision."

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  2. #177
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    Riding downhill on dirt paths doing over 25 mph and hitting the fallen tree laying across the path. The bike stopped but I went thru the handle bars of my Schwinn Stingray like a field goal kicked right down the middle of the uprights. Those Stingrays and I could take a beating back then. I laughed it off with my friends and in a minute or two was back on the path with a story for the rest of my days.

  3. #178
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    Reading these stories made me laugh. Some of you guys are f'ing nuts!

  4. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave (in MA) View Post
    Firecrackers were illegal in MA so we used to try to make our own explosive fun by collecting the gunpower from caps.
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  5. #180
    I'm here for the moosic NogbadTheBad's Avatar
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    I had an American friend who we made 'bombs' with using saltpeter and sulfur. One of those bombs exploded while his mothers washing was out drying, it all had pinhole shrapnel holes all over it.
    Ian

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  6. #181
    Member Boceephus's Avatar
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    Childhood Should Have Killed Us - OK, Boomer Edition

    Anyone have a newspaper route?
    We had the customer info in a booklet with a two inch clip ring. Youd flip through to mark payments made by subscribers.
    We delivered the Detroit Free Press early in the morning, before school. To collect, youd ride around after school with the booklet hanging from your handlebars by the ring.
    One day, Im out collecting. Riding past parked cars when some lady swung her driver side door open right as i pulled up parallel to her....BAM!
    I flew over the handlebars, striking my left testicle on the crossbar! I landed in the middle of the street, tires squealing, brakes screaming & then pages of customer payment receipts fluttering around me like large confetti! Laying there, in pain, holding my balls, and littered with paper...maybe the most humiliating moment of my life as a teenager.


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  7. #182
    Member moecurlythanu's Avatar
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    ^ Sounds like Professional Wrestling to me.
    He did not know that the sword he'd hold, would turn his priceless empire into fool's gold...

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  8. #183
    Man of repute progmatist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boceephus View Post
    Anyone have a newspaper route?
    We had the customer info in a booklet with a two inch clip ring. You’d flip through to mark payments made by subscribers.
    We delivered the Detroit Free Press early in the morning, before school. To collect, you’d ride around after school with the booklet hanging from your handlebars by the ring.
    One day, I’m out collecting. Riding past parked cars when some lady swung her driver side door open right as i pulled up parallel to her....BAM!
    I flew over the handlebars, striking my left testicle on the crossbar! I landed in the middle of the street, tires squealing, brakes screaming & then pages of customer payment receipts fluttering around me like large confetti! Laying there, in pain, holding my balls, and littered with paper...maybe the most humiliating moment of my life as a teenager.


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    I briefly delivered the afternoon paper..........remember those?
    "Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"--Dalai Lama

  9. #184
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NogbadTheBad View Post
    Dear God Duncan who must be impregnable!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddhabreath View Post
    I got one that just came to mind - in the back seat of my older half-brother's Chevrolet Corvair (not the safest car) going fast and having him slam on the breaks and laughing hysterically while I flew over the seats and into the front of the car. Clearly not a thought about seat belts. Hit my head on the dash and had a few stitches... Jezuz F. Christ! Well at least I wasn't as big a delinquent as Duncan!
    I've changed my signature
    Regards,

    Duncan

  10. #185
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Elf View Post
    Wood and plywood sheath bike ramps with wicked angles erected up the curb next to the driveway. Driving our Schwinn Stingrays at full speed up the ramp and landing on the grass. Once my front wheel flew off mid air ...
    OMG We did that a thousand times, but thank God the wheel never came off!

    I did discover, though, that landing too hard too often bent the front fork until the front wheel wouldn't turn any more.

    And - we discovered that new front forks were expensive!
    Regards,

    Duncan

  11. #186
    As kids we would hang out at this little neighborhood store. On day a kids rides up on his banana bike and goes in the store. While in the store we loosen the nuts on his front wheel. As he'sriding away down the street we all yell out "PULL A WHEELIE". I guess you know the rest of the story.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  12. #187
    Member nosebone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spellbound View Post
    A friend and accomplice dubbed throwing a chunk of magnesium into a campfire, "the camper's microwave." For those who have not tried this, it is equally enlightening as arc welding. "Don't watch the food cook."

    That reminds me of middle school camp outs where we'd drink Michelobs, smoke Marlboros and plant fireworks in the campfire waiting for the inevitable explosions.
    no tunes, no dynamics, no nosebone

  13. #188
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nosebone View Post
    That reminds me of middle school camp outs where we'd drink Michelobs, smoke Marlboros and plant fireworks in the campfire waiting for the inevitable explosions.
    LOL

    We would hollow out a cigarette, shove a small firecracker inside, then stuff the tobacco back in - then offer a buddy a smoke and watch the fun.

    Funny as hell, but it's a miracle we didn't blind someone!
    Regards,

    Duncan

  14. #189
    Banned Dave (in MA)'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Elf View Post
    Wood and plywood sheath bike ramps with wicked angles erected up the curb next to the driveway. Driving our Schwinn Stingrays at full speed up the ramp and landing on the grass. Once my front wheel flew off mid air and I landed with such force that the front fork was stuck a good foot into the ground. I remember flying off, but I don't recall any broken bones.
    One time my father got a load of loam delivered, and we decided it'd make a good launch ramp. It was so soft, we couldn't even make it to the top of the pile.

  15. #190
    Don't let your meatloaf! Paulie's Avatar
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    Funny as I read through these latest entries. Speaking of Corvairs (and someone even mentioned a guy changing a belt in a Corvair) and magnesium, my prized 'Vair died in my senior year of high school after I drove it for miles not knowing the belt had busted. Those things were air-cooled (via said belt) and some of the engine parts were actually cast in magnesium, believe it or not. Needless to say, that engine seized right up and left us stranded somewhere near the Appalachian Trail in Salisbury, CT.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Elf View Post
    ...Driving our Schwinn Stingrays at full speed up the ramp and landing on the grass. Once my front wheel flew off mid air and I landed with such force that the front fork was stuck a good foot into the ground. I remember flying off, but I don't recall any broken bones.
    Same situation, different outcome. I wasn't as lucky as our ramp just deposited us in the road. I still have road-rash scars on both arms and one leg to this day.
    "That gum you like is going to come back in style."

  16. #191
    Man of repute progmatist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan Glenday View Post
    LOL

    We would hollow out a cigarette, shove a small firecracker inside, then stuff the tobacco back in - then offer a buddy a smoke and watch the fun.

    Funny as hell, but it's a miracle we didn't blind someone!
    They actually used to sell exploding cigarettes, at the same places one would buy joy buzzers or whoopee cushions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie View Post
    Funny as I read through these latest entries. Speaking of Corvairs (and someone even mentioned a guy changing a belt in a Corvair) and magnesium, my prized 'Vair died in my senior year of high school after I drove it for miles not knowing the belt had busted. Those things were air-cooled (via said belt) and some of the engine parts were actually cast in magnesium, believe it or not. Needless to say, that engine seized right up and left us stranded somewhere near the Appalachian Trail in Salisbury, CT.
    That's one way in which the Corvair fell well short of the Volkswagens with which it was meant to compete. At least with a water cooled engine, one knew the fan belt broke when the engine started steaming. With modern cars, one knows immediately when the serpentine belt breaks because one loses power steering.
    "Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"--Dalai Lama

  17. #192
    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan Glenday View Post
    LOL

    We would hollow out a cigarette, shove a small firecracker inside, then stuff the tobacco back in - then offer a buddy a smoke and watch the fun.

    Funny as hell, but it's a miracle we didn't blind someone!
    In the bathroom at school we would light a cigarette between classes and put the fuse to a hammerhead or cherry bomb in the middle of the cigarette and set it in a stall and it would go off during class. My best friend back then was unknowingly in the bathroom when one went off and his hearing was shot for a couple days. The worst part was the teachers thought he actually did it.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  18. #193
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    In the bathroom at school we would light a cigarette between classes and put the fuse to a hammerhead or cherry bomb in the middle of the cigarette and set it in a stall and it would go off during class. My best friend back then was unknowingly in the bathroom when one went off and his hearing was shot for a couple days. The worst part was the teachers thought he actually did it.
    Regards,

    Duncan

  19. #194
    Occipital Provocatee Plasmatopia's Avatar
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    Pretty sure I set something on fire in my bedroom while heating something up in a test tube. I was able to put it out pretty quickly. Another time my sister and I set the hay loft on fire while trying a cigarette for the first time. Luckily put that one out and my parents never knew anything.

    When I was probably 12 or 13 my best friend and I took his dad's lawn tractor across the road, out into the pasture, up the hill, and out into the narrow strip of woods that separated the pasture from the dirt road. This was a very steep area. We got so far down in the woods that the lawn tractor couldn't make it back the way we came so we decided we'd have to continue down to the road.

    It got very steep and I think the brakes became disconnected when driving over some saplings. I thought we should go back to the house and get a rope to help us lower the tractor down to the road slowly (the last 5 or 6 feet were practically straight down) but my friend didn't want to bother. The lawn tractor hit the road pretty hard and snapped the cross member that the front wheels were mounted to, which was a pretty heavy duty chunk of metal. Pretty sure my friend's dad was pretty pissed off about that, but I went home before he arrived and I never got into any trouble for that.
    Just sitting at home rocking back and forth and jealously caressing my invisible collection of theoretical assets.

  20. #195
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plasmatopia View Post
    Pretty sure I set something on fire in my bedroom .
    Did we have to be kids to do that? In my early twenties I worked for an audio company and we used 99% isopropyl alcohol to clean circuit boards. I discovered if you spilled a little bit on the tabletop, and then lit it, it made a big flash very fast and then went out.

    It.. uh... didn't go out as fast if you spilled a large amount

  21. #196
    Man of repute progmatist's Avatar
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    In 8th grade electronics class, we made printed circuit boards using a sharpie to protect the traces from the etching acid. By our second project, the two sharpies we all shared didn't work so well anymore. The traces came out mangled, so we completed the circuits by soldering the entire traces. One day, I thought it would be fun to short out where an AC power chord was soldered into the board, with a pair of kid's scissors. You know, those small ones with rounded tips, made completely out of metal. Surprisingly, I didn't feel a jolt, but the solder instantaneously liquefied and splattered all over the carpet.

    In high school electronics class, many guys would charge a .05uf capacitor with 500 volts, then toss it to someone. When they reflexively caught the cap, it would discharge with a snap. It was like the static from wiping ones shoes on a carpet, then touching the dog's nose....only 10 times stronger.
    "Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"--Dalai Lama

  22. #197
    Outraged bystander markwoll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by progmatist View Post
    In high school electronics class, many guys would charge a .05uf capacitor with 500 volts, then toss it to someone. When they reflexively caught the cap, it would discharge with a snap. It was like the static from wiping ones shoes on a carpet, then touching the dog's nose....only 10 times stronger.
    We used to make 'shock boxes'. 9v battery, relay, diode, some conductive tape and a switch or some kind. Much fun.
    Much safer than a flyback transformer, although those were fun to play with too.
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  23. #198
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    Maybe this thread should have a subtitle - "Survivor"
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  24. #199
    There's a mine out near Lake Mead - mile marker 16 - that I checked out a couple times in junior and high school. I shudder thinking of that mine these days.

    Obviously, it's dark so walking was a dangerous idea. There were passages, thirty or forty feet wide, that would all of a sudden turn into a huge chasm. So deep that our flashlights couldn't see bottom. So easy to fall into one of those but the kicker was myself and this other guy climbed up a ladder. It was on a 45 degree slope and it went up for a quarter mile or so and the ladders were held into the rock with nails that were super old and rusted. Loose all over the place but we went all the way up to find a nail in the ceiling with some rope coming off of it.

    So stupid and that place still haunts me. The thought of walking along and just falling however far down there screws with my head.

    Bike riding here was fun, of course without helmets. Once went down a hill and hit the damned boulder straight on, went over the handlebars and bit the dust face first. Ran crying and bleeding to the gas station nearby and once I got cleaned up all I had were some minor bruises and scratches and a bloody nose for a few minutes. Lucky.

    I've been reading this and trying to find the crazy types of stories you guys have and that's all I got. Even when I got a little older, in high school the only dangerous things I did were drugs and everyone has those stories. That's boring stuff.

    It was a small town back then and you can only explore the desert so much. It's all the same. My house was community property up until junior high because I had the Atari 2600. We all played that and kickball and such in the streets, which were pretty mild back then. Not so much today but that means nothing. Went to the mall and the movie theater down the street. Again, boring.

    I got into Mom's closet and pulled out the photo albums from 1968 to 1983. From me as a baby to just before high school. There's some cool stuff like the hair styles, the rotary phones and some really awful wall coverings from tiles to wallpaper. It was fun and I didn't have a bad childhood but it was kinda sheltered.

    I envy you guys. Except for a few months in Colorado I've only lived in desert climes and while I do love the desert I'd like to have something else. Traveling from here to anywhere takes hours and just isn't going to happen.

    Didn't set out to write a novel. Oh well.

    ETA: Hitchhiking. There was no reason to hitchhike from here as there's no where to go to so I have no experience with this but some of you did and I gotta ask, weren't you worried that you might get picked up by the wrong person? I can't imagine walking down the road and being picked up by a stranger. Too risky for me.
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  25. #200
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheLoony View Post
    ...
    ETA: Hitchhiking. There was no reason to hitchhike from here as there's no where to go to so I have no experience with this but some of you did and I gotta ask, weren't you worried that you might get picked up by the wrong person? I can't imagine walking down the road and being picked up by a stranger. Too risky for me.
    No worries - we were young and immortal and we could beat up any bad guys!

    In some ways, I miss the over-confidence of youth
    Regards,

    Duncan

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