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Thread: Childhood Should Have Killed Us - OK, Boomer Edition

  1. #151
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    You went to school with Dean Kamen?

  2. #152
    Member Boceephus's Avatar
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    Growing up ((70s) just south of Detroit (Wyandotte), we’d hop trains to get from one side of town to the other. One time the train was going a little fast, I’d grab a handhold, but couldn’t get the speed up to swing my legs up. So I’m holding on, dragging my feet. My Converse All Stars quickly losing rubber. I finally let go & tumbling in horror, sure I’d wind up beneath the steel wheels! Fuck, those were fun times!


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  3. #153
    Member Boceephus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nosebone View Post



    Old neighborhood stories are great!

    We had a pair of middle aged lesbian sisters who lived across the street we called the "moon maids"

    They sat on their front porch all summer chain smoking and holding onto any balls or frisbees that landed in their yard.

    One late summer night we were awakened by Loretta (moon maid #1).

    She wanted my mother, who was a nurse, to administer her an emergency enema.

    I had no idea what was going on at the time.
    Did your mom get those balls out?


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  4. #154
    Outraged bystander markwoll's Avatar
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    We have a lot of wild grape vines growing around here. They are pretty strong and flexible, but brittle.
    A sometimes fun time was to find a big one and use it for a tarzan swing over a ravine or in the woods.
    It was sort of like 'playing chicken', each swing could be the one that breaks the vine. Sometimes they would last the summer.
    Sometimes not.
    Lucky no one busted their tailbone.
    The local waters ( rivers, streams, etc ) were not safe for swimming ( pollution ) in the 70's so a swing over water was even too stupid for us.
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
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    Nostalgia, you know, ain't what it used to be. Furthermore, they tells me, it never was.
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  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boceephus View Post
    Growing up ((70s) just south of Detroit (Wyandotte), we’d hop trains to get from one side of town to the other. One time the train was going a little fast, I’d grab a handhold, but couldn’t get the speed up to swing my legs up. So I’m holding on, dragging my feet. My Converse All Stars quickly losing rubber. I finally let go & tumbling in horror, sure I’d wind up beneath the steel wheels! Fuck, those were fun times!
    Thanks -- great story Stumpy!

  6. #156
    Outraged bystander markwoll's Avatar
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    Back in the 60's my dad introduced me to making lead soldiers.
    He had some 2 part molds of a motley assortment of figures. Some 'army men', cowboys, marching band members and stuff.
    I used to collect old tire balance weights and melt them down on a heating element salvaged from a pop corn popper.
    In addition I did lots of 'experiments' on the effects of molten lead on various objects. More fun than playing with the figures.
    I never burned myself in the process, more luck than skill I am sure. No sure how the lead may have influenced my development.
    The molds are still around. Tire weights aren't as plentiful.
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
    -- Aristotle
    Nostalgia, you know, ain't what it used to be. Furthermore, they tells me, it never was.
    “A Man Who Does Not Read Has No Appreciable Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read” - Unknown

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by markwoll View Post
    No sure how the lead may have influenced my development.
    You want a remote diagnosis?

  8. #158
    Outraged bystander markwoll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rcarlberg View Post
    You want a remote diagnosis?
    It was about the time Prog Rock started , so it may have effected more than just me.
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
    -- Aristotle
    Nostalgia, you know, ain't what it used to be. Furthermore, they tells me, it never was.
    “A Man Who Does Not Read Has No Appreciable Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read” - Unknown

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  10. #160
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    Childhood Should Have Killed Us - OK, Boomer Edition

    Anyone remember playing with liquid “mercury”?
    Not Freddie, but the chemical element. I can’t remember where we used to get it, probably thermometers...we shoulda died years ago.

    Backyard skating rinks?
    We’d flood the backyard from crusty hoses. Let it freeze overnight & skate the next day. Set up some makeshift net & start a game. Unfortunately we never thought about taking down the clothesline. Most of us were too short to worry about it. My brother John caught the clothes right right in the throat. If the cable had been a lighter gauge, he might have decapitated himself! Yikes!


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  11. #161
    Moderator Duncan Glenday's Avatar
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    DAMN, I'm sorry I only saw this thread now - but so many of you guys had the same kind of childhood I did!

    I should have died long ago:

    - Playing with liquid mercury on our tongues

    - Playing with raw asbestos every afternoon

    - Asbestos heaters in the house

    - Making lead forms with a hacksaw and a hammer

    - Bicycle helmet? WTF is that?!? (In my late teens and early twenties, I raced in semi-pro cycle races without a helmet.)

    - The most regular attendee at the smokers corner at boarding school

    - Paying a homeless drunk to go into the liquor store and buy us tons of alcohol, and getting slammed with my buddies - age 14 onward

    - Stealing the keys to my Mom's car when she wasn't around and joy riding with buddies - age 14 onward ... it was an old Morris Minor 1000

    - Sneaking out of the boarding school dorms at midnight, hot-wiring someone's VW Bug, joy riding and ditching it when it ran out of gas

    - Hitch hiking many, many thousands of miles

    - Racing motorcycles - on and off track

    - Breaking an arm when, aged 7, I jumped out of a 2nd-story window and discovered that an umbrella does not work as a parachute

    - Throwing 5 or 6 boxes of old-school (high-foam) laundry detergent into a huge fountain at the entrance to the town - and watched a 4-foot high foam cloud covering the street. Caused a traffic jam at 2:00 am

    - Shooting BB pellets at my brother while he threw darts at me - just for competition

    - My buddy and I stole magnesium strips from the chemistry class and lit them in the history classroom before a big Friday quiz so the class was evacuated, so I could have an extra 2 days to study for the quiz. (But I did not study that weekend, and failed the quiz on Monday anyway LOL )

    - Seat belts? What are they?

    - Breaking the school record for the number of days I played hooky AND for the number of detentions - in one year.

    - Climbing the waterfall in the picture below (230 feet) and frightening picnickers at the bottom by pretending to jump

    - Streaking


    That's just scratching the surface. I hope my kids never read this!



    Regards,

    Duncan

  12. #162
    I'm here for the moosic NogbadTheBad's Avatar
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    Dear God Duncan who must be impregnable!
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  13. #163
    Member Boceephus's Avatar
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    Streaking!
    We’d invite a bunch of high school girls to the local cemetery to drink some stolen beers, then talk Obby Sawicki into streaking between the headstones! [emoji23]
    Hilarious!


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  14. #164
    Lead soldiers, magnesium strips...

    Chemistry sets. Those things were chock-full of death-in-a-bottle.

    Re: Backyard skating rinks. We lived for a year in a house that backed onto Candlewood Lake in Connecticut (at one time the biggest manmade lake in the world). It froze so solid that people had car races on it.

    Well, we would shovel the snow off the area around our house and skate. Then in the evening we'd run the hose down from a hotwater spigot, spray over it, and have a fresh smooth surface the next day.

    I used to fish in that same lake; one day a raccoon snuck up behind me and grabbed a fish right out of my bucket. Later in the year I put on my dad's old wet suit and spearfished with a trident spear.

    That was the last time I ever fished. I realized that I don't like the taste of fish, and killing them without eating them was just not right.

    We had a LOOOONG twisty driveway with like an 8% grade down to the house. From the first snow to the last thaw my mom parked at the top of the driveway and walked down with the groceries and whatall. We sledded down that driveway over and over again, stopping somehow just before the ten foot drop from the parking area to the lake. (There was a toboggan but we never got the hang of steering it and after we hit one tree too many we retired it.)

    The garbage cans were up at the top of that driveway, in a little shed with a lock only we and the garbage men had keys to. The raccoons, I swear, figured out how to pick the damn lock.

    Because nobody wanted to haul more trash than necessary up that slope, we used to burn as much of the trash as we could. Some amazing stinks rose from some of those fires.

    (That was also the year I discovered science fiction and Tolkien.)
    Last edited by Sturgeon's Lawyer; 12-16-2019 at 10:50 AM.
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    Orange Tick Squasher Buddhabreath's Avatar
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    I got one that just came to mind - in the back seat of my older half-brother's Chevrolet Corvair (not the safest car) going fast and having him slam on the breaks and laughing hysterically while I flew over the seats and into the front of the car. Clearly not a thought about seat belts. Hit my head on the dash and had a few stitches... Jezuz F. Christ! Well at least I wasn't as big a delinquent as Duncan!
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  16. #166
    Don't let your meatloaf! Paulie's Avatar
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    I had a mint 66 Corvair Monza Coupe. Bought it from the old lady down the road when I was 16 for $650. It had 938 original miles on it. Loved that car! Loved showing uninitiated high school pals the "engine" compartment. The medallion in the middle of the steering wheel could pop off and that's where I stashed my weed.
    Last edited by Paulie; 12-16-2019 at 12:40 PM.
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  17. #167
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    Childhood Should Have Killed Us - OK, Boomer Edition

    We used to play chicken with trains, while riding our bikes. Whoever got closest won! Stupidity at its best!

    When those trains came out of Detroit, loaded with brand new cars, we’d throw snowballs at them & got points for certain color cars or hitting a window rather than the door, and so on. One time a pick up truck full of railroad guys came up behind us! Stealthy bastards. They put us in the back of the truck & took us to this small building. Called our parents...ass whippings ensued.

    When you grow up in a town with the railroad running down the middle, there will be stupid kids taking advantage!

    Anyone else start fires in their bedrooms?


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  18. #168
    We used to hook school and go to Singer Park which had a damn. I would jump off the 30 foot wall into the deep side of the damn. Some kids would slide down the damn an others ride bikes down the damn.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  19. #169
    Member Lopez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sturgeon's Lawyer View Post
    We had a LOOOONG twisty driveway with like an 8% grade down to the house. From the first snow to the last thaw my mom parked at the top of the driveway and walked down with the groceries and whatall. We sledded down that driveway over and over again, stopping somehow just before the ten foot drop from the parking area to the lake. (There was a toboggan but we never got the hang of steering it and after we hit one tree too many we retired it.)
    You've reminded me of the risks we took sledding at the old abandoned girls' school (Elmhurst Academy in Providence) across the street from our house. There was a huge slope from the driveway down to sports fields. In the winter all the neighborhood kids would go sledding there. We'd pack down a track wide enough for the sled runners. Once we put a "ski jump" made out of snow-covered boxes in the track, so we could get the sleds to fly. What could go wrong? My younger brother Eric was good for one broken arm a year.

    Just thought, I wonder why we never tried to get into the main boarded up building. I'm sure there would have been fun times there. Some killjoy burned it down one night. Watched the whole thing from our front stoop.
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  20. #170
    Man of repute progmatist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boceephus View Post
    Anyone else start fires in their bedrooms?
    I nearly burned down the house in the middle of the night. When I was in the 7th grade, my grandparents were visiting. My grandpa smoked a pipe, so I figured my parents wouldn't notice if I smoked cigarettes in my bedroom. I would light one, take a few puffs, put it out and stick it in the dresser drawer. Later, I'd relight it for a few more puffs. I didn't quite put one out, and overnight, it burned across a book of matches. It only burned the cover, and not the actual matches just underneath. There were of course no smoke detectors in the late 70s, so I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale, had a fire actually started.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie View Post
    I had a mint 66 Corvair Monza Coupe. Bought it from the old lady down the road when I was 16 for $650. It had 938 original miles on it. Loved that car! Loved showing uninitiated high school pals the "engine" compartment. The medallion in the middle of the steering wheel could pop off and that's where I stashed my weed.
    When I was in about the 5th grade, my older brother, 2 neighbor kids and I were wandering through undeveloped Sonoran Desert, within the square mile where our lone 5 block subdivision was located. We came across some guy who was changing a belt on his Corvair. We'd never seen anything like it, and thought it had to be a foreign car. He told us "You kids shouldn't be out here! Just yesterday, I chased away some creep!" In actuality, the Corvair was GM's answer to the ever popular Volkswagen line of cars and buses.
    "Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"--Dalai Lama

  21. #171
    Man of repute progmatist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    We used to hook school and go to Singer Park which had a damn. I would jump off the 30 foot wall into the deep side of the damn. Some kids would slide down the damn an others ride bikes down the damn.
    Damn dude!!

    Incidentally, there are probably more large dams where I live than anywhere else in the US. That's what made it possible for the 6th largest city in the country to grow in the middle of the desert. If you tried diving in the deep end of one, you'd likely be sucked into hydroelectric turbines.
    Last edited by progmatist; 12-16-2019 at 03:32 PM.
    "Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"--Dalai Lama

  22. #172
    Orange Tick Squasher Buddhabreath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boceephus View Post
    Streaking!
    We’d invite a bunch of high school girls to the local cemetery...
    Why past tense? You no longer invite high school girls to the local cemetery? Yer losing yer edge matey!
    The combined fortunes of the world's 26 richest individuals reached $1.4 trillion last year — the same amount as the total wealth of the 3.8 billion poorest people.

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  23. #173
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    An elderly man in Texas owned a large farm, with a beautiful pond at the back of the property next to the road. He’d fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, a horseshoe pit, and he’d planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond. One warm evening the farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car on the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He loudly cleared his throat, and the women went splashing to the far end of the pond.

    One of the women shouted to him, “We’re naked and we’re not coming out until you leave!”

    The old man smiled. “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m just here to feed the alligator.”

  24. #174
    Eat The Rich spellbound's Avatar
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    A friend and accomplice dubbed throwing a chunk of magnesium into a campfire, "the camper's microwave." For those who have not tried this, it is equally enlightening as arc welding. "Don't watch the food cook."

    Quote Originally Posted by Boceephus
    Anyone else start fires in their bedrooms?
    Not intentionally, but yes.
    if you want money for people with minds that hate, all I can tell you is brother you have to wait

  25. #175
    We took over an old metal garage at the edge of the woods and used it as a hang out. We put a 55 gallon drum in the metal to burn wood for heat in the winter. We would put bullets from a 22 on top and they would fire when they got hot enough.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

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