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Thread: Worst Lyrics Ever Recorded?

  1. #101
    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Elf View Post
    There are anecdotal accounts that attest to the mind-expanding and creative properties of dropping acid. Evidently, that acuity does not extend to lyricism....

    I've got a bike. You can ride it if you like
    It's got a basket, a bell that rings and
    Things to make it look good
    I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it

    You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
    I'll give you anything, ev'rything if you want things

    I've got a cloak. It's a bit of a joke
    There's a tear up the front. It's red and black
    I've had it for months
    If you think it could look good, then I guess it should

    You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
    I'll give you anything, ev'rything if you want things

    I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house
    I don't know why. I call him Gerald
    He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse

    You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
    I'll give you anything, ev'rything if you want things

    I've got a clan of gingerbread men
    Here a man, there a man, lots of gingerbread men
    Take a couple if you wish. They're on the dish

    You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
    I'll give you anything, ev'rything if you want things

    I know a room full of musical tunes
    Some rhyme, some ching. Most of them are clockwork
    Let's go into the other room and make them work
    Funny, I always liked the lyrics to that song. I kinda like Syd's Floyd era lyrics, which were very whimsical and owed as much to the British tradition of nonsense poetry as it did to psychedelia. Ditto for John Lennon's late 60's offering (e.g. Lucy In The Skies..., I Am The Walrus, etc).

    I suppose you're not too keen on Dr Seuss either, huh?

  2. #102
    That's Mr. to you, Sir!! Trane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Triscuits View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarGeek View Post
    Frank's kind of a difficult thing for me. Most of his lyrics are him looking down his nose at society, saying "you're stupid, I'm smarter than all of you". When he wasn't looking down his nose at everyone, he was just writing stupid songs. I mean, did the world really need a song about Michael Kenyon, or things like We're Turning Again or Jewish Princess?! I don't know how intelligent Frank actually was, but the man sure had the sense of humor of an 11 year old.
    I think you've really got Zappa wrong here. Don't assume that he was letting himself off the hook. There is a revealing moment in the performance of "Broken Hearts Are for Assholes" captured in the Baby Snakes video, when Zappa points at random audience members while singing "You're an asshole! And you're an asshole! That's right!" Finally he points to himself and concludes "And you're an asshole!"
    When he was pointing himself, he probably changed the line to: You've an asshole (which he does)

    All joking aside, it's never occured to me that Zappa wasn't including himseld in the human zoo comedy he was criticizing.... except maybe in Joe's Garage, where he places himself as an outside observer (or maybe the victim)?

    His texts were clearly satyres (though most of it is way above my head.... not that I try to understand it anymore), where nothing could be taken seriously, though the whole thing (most of it anyway) should be looked at very seriously by philosophs.
    I especially can't get permeate his first MoI period and Suzy Creemcheese where the music was also just as crazy as the texts were, it's kind of turn off for me.

    But I won't judge it as bad, though (FTM, it's probably brilliant, if you're an insider - which I wasn't).
    I just don't get it and don't care to (anymore)

    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarGeek View Post
    Maybe so, but I just find a lot of his lyrics obnoxious. Really, my favorite Zappa albums are the instrumental, or mostly instrumental ones.
    Zap was obnoxious on intent and third degree, not by accident and first degree

    TBH, it's my preference too: when Frank shuts up and let his guitar and musos do the talking
    Last edited by Trane; 10-12-2019 at 03:03 AM.
    my music collection increased tenfolds when I switched from drug-addicts to complete nutcases.

  3. #103
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    Chapter eating Marx one morning
    Freaking out on electric meat
    Chewing thrills with Turkish madmen
    Space speed to Sweden without sleep
    Cocaine coloured computer cards
    Coding cosmic zipper skies
    Vitamin clouds beyond the moon
    Yogurt blood lunacy shoes

    Acid warped the global fetus
    Like the bourgeois look at feet
    And cadillacs
    Two thousand years we crossed up Jesus
    Thinking he'd make ends meet
    Christ no

    ou can't make the world to order
    Like a hotel service's food
    Take the sixties as a movie
    Take the seventies as fuel
    You've got a reason to be endless
    Because your mood is summer cool
    Let deliverance be existence
    Before this song becomes your fool

    Lyrics by Pye DuBois, music Max Webster

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThomasKDye View Post
    It's a poetic trope to place the object before the verb, when it can still make sense. I can't think of another example right now, but I know I've seen it before.
    Yes, but it's considered bad poetry, as is anything that doesn't read like people normally speak or write.

  5. #105
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    Like a dog without a bone.
    Mr. Mojo risin

    and the winner:
    Da west is da best.


    keep it off my radio.

  6. #106
    Member Munster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by llanwydd View Post
    Like a dog without a bone.
    Mr. Mojo risin

    and the winner:
    Da west is da best.


    keep it off my radio.
    Morrison may have been lazy and complacent by the end of The Doors' time, but some of his earlier stuff, to my mind, is exceptional. What about this from Crystal Ship:
    Before you slip into unconsciousness
    I'd like to have another kiss
    Another flashing chance at bliss
    Another kiss, another kiss.

  7. #107
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    People are strange when you're a stranger
    Faces look ugly when you're alone
    Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
    Streets are uneven when you're down
    ..

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baribrotzer View Post
    Yes, but it's considered bad poetry, as is anything that doesn't read like people normally speak or write.
    Poetry, and other kinds of literature with a high register, isn't supposed to sound like people normally speak or write.

    Literary English has kind of dried up and disappeared, but inversion is a feature of some of the most beautiful English there is. Shakespeare's plays and sonnets have it. Robert Frost has it. Liturgical English has it (King James Bible for instance, but not just there.)


    Of course, any lyricist who thinks of themselves a poet is surely lying to themselves and inversion and rock music should stay far away from each other.

  9. #109
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigjohnwayne View Post
    Of course, any lyricist who thinks of themselves a poet is surely lying to themselves
    And you read your Emily Dickinson
    And I my Robert Frost
    And we note our place with book markers
    That measure what we've lost

    Like a poem poorly written
    We are verses out of rhythm
    Couplets out of rhyme
    In syn-co-pated time

    And the dangled conversation
    And the superficial sighs
    Are the borders of our lives

    Yes, we speak of things that matter
    With words that must be said
    "Can analysis be worthwhile?"
    "Is the theater really dead?"

    And how the room is softly faded
    And I only kiss your shadow, I cannot feel your hand
    You're a stranger now unto me

    Lost in the dangling conversation
    And the superficial sighs
    In the borders of our lives
    ..
    Last edited by rcarlberg; 10-12-2019 at 11:30 AM.

  10. #110
    Quote Originally Posted by Munster View Post
    Morrison may have been lazy and complacent by the end of The Doors' time, but some of his earlier stuff, to my mind, is exceptional.
    When the still sea conspires an armor
    And her sullen and aborted
    Currents breed tiny monsters
    True sailing is dead!

    Awkward instant
    And the first animal is jettisoned
    Legs furiously pumping
    Their stiff green gallop
    And heads bob up
    Poise
    Delicate
    Pause
    Consent
    In mute nostril agony
    Carefully refined
    And sealed over
    "The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone!"

  11. #111
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Well, if we're posting really GOOD lyrics now, these always slew me:
    Leave me something to remember you by,
    more than a lock of your hair.
    Leave me scarred for life,
    show you really care.

    You can do it with kindness,
    keener than a knife.
    Just by making yourself scarce
    you can leave me scarred for life.

    We walked arm in arm with madness
    and every little breeze
    whispered of the secret love
    we had for our disease.

    Leave me something so I won't forget,
    more than a nick or a scratch,
    to remind me that in you I met,
    in you I met my match.

    Nothing on the surface,
    I don't want it to show.
    Something I can hide inside
    so only you and I will know.

    You know I'd do the same for you –
    leave me scarred for life.
    And if we never meet again,
    for all the time we spent
    leave me with a tender spot,
    something permanent.

  12. #112
    Member hFx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ronmac View Post
    Those are great lines; some of the best of the song, IMO. They perfectly illustrate how radio compromised their integrity by playing games and having contests to keep listeners, instead of focusing on delivering great music.
    Yes some good intellectual reflections there! Then looking out over the headbanging audience, Neil realized the context is important and reached out a hand.... Yeah!!
    My Progressive Workshop at http://soundcloud.com/hfxx

  13. #113
    Well I bargained with the Judge,
    but that bastard wouldn't
    when they caught me licking fudge
    but they never told me you were a minor

    KC - Easy Money live
    ----------------

    They can't stop us,
    Let 'em try!
    For heavy metal
    We will die!

    Quit my job this morning said; forever
    I would hold my head up high.
    Cause I need metal in my life,
    Just like an eagle needs to fly.

    So I walked outside into the street,
    From a hall I heard thunder and screams.
    I walked inside so I could hear,
    And the guy beside me gave me a beer!

    Manowar - Die for Metal
    --------------------------

    Manowar Manowar living on the road
    When we're in town speakers explode
    We don't attract wimps 'cause we're too loud
    Just true metal people that's Manowar's crowd
    ...
    We like it hard, we like it fast
    We got the biggest amps, man they blast
    True metal people want to rock not pose
    Wearin' jeans and leather, not cracker jack clothes

    Manowar - Kings of Metal
    -----------------

    The Gods Made Heavy Metal And They Saw That It Was Good
    They Said To Play It Louder Than Hell
    We Promised That We Would

    Manowar - The Gods Made Heavy Metal
    .................
    You say Mega Ultra Deluxe Special Limited Edition Extended Autographed 5-LP, 3-CD, 4-DVD, 2-BlueRay, 4-Cassette, five 8-Track, MP4 Download plus Demos, Outtakes, Booklet, T-Shirt and Guitar Pick Gold-Leafed Box Set Version like it's a bad thing...

  14. #114
    Quote Originally Posted by Progatron View Post
    It's a lovely sentiment. It's a poorly worded line, IMO. I should point out that I realize how ridiculous it seems to put a song like Dust In The Wind in a thread titled "Worst Lyrics Ever Recorded" - I certainly don't think that. It's just one that causes me to stumble whenever I hear it.



    Definitely! "Gun of paint", yikes...
    I couldn't disagree more. Altering word order for effect - both how the words sound, as well as how they mean - is what poets have been doing for centuries.

    In this case, another effect gained is the internal assonanance of money & minute, which both land on the beat. If you want to dig into this more deeply, you could also say an effect of this is to emphasise further the reduction of time to a monetised commodity.

  15. #115
    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpyprogfan View Post
    Robert Wyatt

    "This is the first verse
    This is the first verse, verse
    This is the first, first...
    And this is the chorus
    Or perhaps it's the bridge
    Or just another part
    Of the song
    That I'm singing

    And this is the second verse
    It could be the last verse
    And this is the second verse
    Second verse, second verse
    It could be the last verse
    Last verse
    And it's probably
    The last one
    And this is the chorus
    Or perhaps it's the bridge
    Or just another key change
    Never mind
    It doesn't hurt
    It only means
    That I have lost faith in this song

    'Cause it won't help me
    Reach you..."
    I'm going to assume you're being ironic here, in quoting this...

    These lyrics are brilliant, on any number of levels.

    You could cite them as an example of dadaism in pop music. You could cite them as a performance of meta-composing. You could cite them as a performance of the way in which singers will often use place-holder language to stand in for lyrics when they're trying out a new song. You could cite them as a performance of writer's block coming into conflict with the grind of churning out product.

    But most of all, they are a performance of futility - the futility of writing a song in the expectation that it might get your loved one back, that ennui that abandoned lovers feel, the pointlessness of carrying on. All of this is especially poignant when you listen to the song in the context of Caroline, which precedes it. Caroline Coad had, of course, just left Wyatt.

  16. #116
    Member Casey's Avatar
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    Hey, I resemble that remark! (as I casually point to my avatar quote)
    I've got a bike you can ride it if you like

  17. #117
    And when I have some words
    This is the way I'll sing
    To a distortion box
    To make it menacing

    Then, I'm gonna have to write a chorus
    Gonna need to have a chorus
    And this seems to be as good as any other place to sing it till I'm blue in the face, yeah,
    We're gonna need to have a chorus,
    Gonna have to write a chorus,
    nd this seems to be as good as any other place to sing it till I'm blue in the face.
    Happy with what you have to be happy with to be happy with what you have you
    have to be happy with what you have, happy with what you have to be happy
    with you have to be happy with what you have, to be happy with what you
    have, you have to be happy with what you have to be happy wiiith
    Cobra handling and cocaine use are a bad mix.

  18. #118
    Quote Originally Posted by Sturgeon's Lawyer View Post
    And when I have some words
    This is the way I'll sing
    To a distortion box
    To make it menacing

    Then, I'm gonna have to write a chorus
    Gonna need to have a chorus
    And this seems to be as good as any other place to sing it till I'm blue in the face, yeah,
    We're gonna need to have a chorus,
    Gonna have to write a chorus,
    nd this seems to be as good as any other place to sing it till I'm blue in the face.
    Happy with what you have to be happy with to be happy with what you have you
    have to be happy with what you have, happy with what you have to be happy
    with you have to be happy with what you have, to be happy with what you
    have, you have to be happy with what you have to be happy wiiith
    See, now I thought that was funny. Ade was making fun of "modern" rock music. I like that when they come back from the guitar solo, the pre-chorus changes to "We're gonna repeat the chorus/I guess we're gonna repeat the chorus", etc.

  19. #119
    That's Mr. to you, Sir!! Trane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by per anporth View Post
    I'm going to assume you're being ironic here, in quoting this...

    These lyrics are brilliant, on any number of levels.

    You could cite them as an example of dadaism in pop music. You could cite them as a performance of meta-composing. You could cite them as a performance of the way in which singers will often use place-holder language to stand in for lyrics when they're trying out a new song. You could cite them as a performance of writer's block coming into conflict with the grind of churning out product.

    But most of all, they are a performance of futility - the futility of writing a song in the expectation that it might get your loved one back, that ennui that abandoned lovers feel, the pointlessness of carrying on. All of this is especially poignant when you listen to the song in the context of Caroline, which precedes it. Caroline Coad had, of course, just left Wyatt.
    I'm wondering if I didn't read (somewhere like in Bennett's Out Bloody Rageous or Wyatt's memoirs) that Wyatt was just testing and improvising the text along when writing the melody and it just stuck

    anyway, I 'm also finding it brilliant dadaistic and it is Wyatt at his utter best, IMHO
    my music collection increased tenfolds when I switched from drug-addicts to complete nutcases.

  20. #120
    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarGeek View Post
    See, now I thought that was funny. Ade was making fun of "modern" rock music. I like that when they come back from the guitar solo, the pre-chorus changes to "We're gonna repeat the chorus/I guess we're gonna repeat the chorus", etc.
    Actually, I love those lyrics too (and most of Belew's KC lyrics). I intended this as a metacomment on the Wyatt selection (i.e., I find that brilliant too).
    Cobra handling and cocaine use are a bad mix.

  21. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buddhabreath View Post
    ... and of course speaking of god-awful dreck, how can you beat Tales from Topographic Oceans? There is some wonderful music on that album, but honestly, the lyrics seem to have been farted out of the addled brain of a not-so-bright middle school student. IMO, it would be a monumental challenge indeed for a normal, literate person to formulate such an utterly execrable and nauseating word-salad without the benefit of a large dose of bad acid and several viscous blows to the head with a ball-peen hammer.

    A random sample:

    Getting over overhanging trees
    Let them rape the forest
    Thoughts would send our fusion
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean
    Or so it seems so clearly
    Sheltered with our passion
    Clearly to be home
    They move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    And I just can't believe our song will leave you
    Skyline teacher
    Warland seeker
    Send out poison
    Cast iron leader
    And through the rhythm of moving slowly
    Sent through the rhythm work out the story
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    Young Christians see it from the beginning
    Old people feel it that's what they're saying
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    The move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    A course towards a universal season
    Getting over overhanging trees let them
    Rape the forest, they might stand and leave them
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean

    Wow! Talk about an embarrassment! Maybe Bruford saw an advance copy of they lyrics and quit on the spot...
    I love those lyrics. A lot. Oh well. What do I know?
    The Prog Corner

  22. #122
    Member paythesnuka's Avatar
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    Short people got no reason
    Short people got no reason
    Short people got no reason
    To live
    They got little hands
    And little eyes
    And they walk around
    Tellin' great big lies
    They got little noses
    And tiny little teeth
    They wear platform shoes
    On their nasty little feet
    Well, I don't want no short people
    Don't want no short people
    Don't want no short people
    'Round here
    Short people are just the same
    As you and I
    (A fool such as I)
    All men are brothers
    Until the day they die
    (It's a wonderful world)
    Short people got nobody
    Short people got nobody
    Short people got nobody
    To love
    They got little baby legs
    And they stand so low
    You got to pick 'em up
    Just to say hello
    They got little cars
    That got beep, beep, beep
    They got little voices
    Goin' peep, peep, peep
    They got grubby little fingers
    And dirty little minds
    They're gonna get you every time
    Well, I don't want no short people
    Don't want no short people
    Don't want no short people
    'Round here


    As someone who is 5-4, I've never really liked the lyrics in this song, although the bridge sorta makes things right.
    "It's such a fine line between stupid and... clever" -- David St. Hubbins & Derek Smalls, Spinal Tap

  23. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by paythesnuka View Post

    As someone who is 5-4, I've never really liked the lyrics in this song, although the bridge sorta makes things right.
    You do know the story behind it, don't you?

    In the Seventies, Randy Newman somehow ran afoul of Irving Azoff, who was one of the most powerful managers in the music business, one of the most aggressively out to win at any cost, one of the most vengeful, one of the most litigious - and was not very tall. Newman was apparently sufficiently annoyed at him to write that song, and it became a hit, but he - understandably - did not exactly publicize that it was about one person in particular, and not all short people.

  24. #124
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Besides which, Newman has a history of writing "ironic" songs (see: Rednecks, Political Science, Shame, It's Money That Matters, They Just Got Married, Pretty Boy, etc.)

    I assure you, he doesn't hate short people. My first wife was 4'11" and she hated that song too. Dang sensitive dwarves.

  25. #125
    Insect Overlord Progatron's Avatar
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    I'm sure plenty of people don't like Fat Man by Jethro Tull either. Least of all Mick Abrahams, who is rumored to have felt it was a poke at him at the time (even though he never seemed overweight to me until he was much older).
    Interviewer of reprobate ne'er-do-well musicians of the long-haired rock n' roll persuasion at: www.velvetthunder.co.uk and former scribe at Classic Rock Society. Only vaguely aware of anything other than music.

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