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Thread: Worst Lyrics Ever Recorded?

  1. #1
    Member Emeritus (A.M.P.) rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Worst Lyrics Ever Recorded?

    Can you beat this?
    I know the zoos protect my species,
    They give me food, and collect my feces.
    Adrian Belew, "Lone Rhinoceros"

  2. #2
    Highly Evolved Orangutan JKL2000's Avatar
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    Always my (least) favorite, from the song "She's No Vegetarian" on Bubblemath's "Such Fine Particles of the Universe" album:

    "She's no vegetarian, she's nobody's fool
    She packs in pounds of greasy grounds
    You can smell it in her stool"

    Check please!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by rcarlberg View Post
    Can you beat this?


    Adrian Belew, "Lone Rhinoceros"
    Ade's 'penis of an alien' line is a contender too.
    No one plans to take the path that brings you lower

  4. #4
    I don't know, man, it's hard to beat some of the Shaggs' lyrics.
    Maka ki ecela tehani yanke lo!

  5. #5
    too many to offer,but this one tends to come to mind:

    Hoo-hoo-hoo, billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
    You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
    Orange is the new stupid.

  6. #6
    Enchant "The Great Divide"

    "Can a man know God, or is he just a fantasy
    for you and me, one great big lie?
    Can his mind be filled with something more than evidence and common sense?
    Bridge the great divide
    Travel to the other side and be sanctified by what he may find"

  7. #7
    Robert Wyatt

    "This is the first verse
    This is the first verse, verse
    This is the first, first...
    And this is the chorus
    Or perhaps it's the bridge
    Or just another part
    Of the song
    That I'm singing

    And this is the second verse
    It could be the last verse
    And this is the second verse
    Second verse, second verse
    It could be the last verse
    Last verse
    And it's probably
    The last one
    And this is the chorus
    Or perhaps it's the bridge
    Or just another key change
    Never mind
    It doesn't hurt
    It only means
    That I have lost faith in this song

    'Cause it won't help me
    Reach you..."

  8. #8
    Member Emeritus (A.M.P.) rcarlberg's Avatar
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    I'd forgotten about that song

  9. #9
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    This could turn into a fun thread!!!

    I submit: "I've been circling like an orbit around that cosmic Christmas tree."

    The Flower Kings "Love Is The Only Answer"

    Great song but those lyrics...
    Prog's Not Dead

  10. #10
    Member Emeritus (A.M.P.) rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Once I ran to you
    Now I'll run from you
    Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"

  11. #11
    Member Mr.Krautman's Avatar
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    This one is hard to beat...

    Love, love me do
    You know I love you
    I'll always be true
    So please, love me do
    Whoa, love me do

    Love, love me do
    You know I love you
    I'll always be true
    So please, love me do
    Whoa, love me do

    Someone to love
    Somebody new
    Someone to love
    Someone like you

  12. #12
    NEARfest Officer Emeritus Nearfest2's Avatar
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    From Kansas, "Anything for You"...

    You give me headaches o' you got your gall
    If it weren't for me you wouldn't have nuttin' at all
    I fell for you 'cause you were nice and tall


    From Rupert Holmes, "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"

    It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you"
    Chad

  13. #13
    Jazzbo manqué Mister Triscuits's Avatar
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    The Rolling Stones' sumptuously funky "Rain Fall Down," where this left-field observation pops up in the middle of a seedy seduction scenario:

    The bankers are wankers every Thursday night
    They just vomit on that ground.

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    ^The same album has 'Oh No Not You Again' with the legendary 'the moon is yellow, I'm like Jello staring down your tits'. Christ.

    Another track, 'Sweet Neo Con', rhymes hypocrite and crock of shit.

  15. #15
    Member paythesnuka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nearfest2 View Post
    From Kansas, "Anything for You"...

    From Rupert Holmes, "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"

    It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you"
    In the context of the song, those lyrics are great.

    Here's one that makes me cringe every time I hear it:

    Here is my heart
    Waiting for you
    Here is my soul
    I eat at chez nous
    "It's such a fine line between stupid and... clever" -- David St. Hubbins & Derek Smalls, Spinal Tap

  16. #16
    There are some odd ones on this, I believe...


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    “Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak somewhere in this town”.

    I could be wrong but I would guess that the jailbreak would be where the jail is located.

    Love the song though and Thin Lizzy.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  18. #18
    Member Lopez's Avatar
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    From KC and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Booty."

    Oh, you can, you can do it very well
    You're the best in the world, I can tell
    Lou

    Awarded the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval. It's not just good, it's good enough.

  19. #19
    Member Lopez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unclemeat View Post
    There are some odd ones on this, I believe...

    "I Died Today"!!??!!

    I've never heard or seen this, but I'm betting there's some classic lines there.
    Lou

    Awarded the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval. It's not just good, it's good enough.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ronmac View Post
    too many to offer,but this one tends to come to mind:

    Hoo-hoo-hoo, billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
    You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
    Steve Miller has many clankers. The clankiest, though, in my estimation, is one so clanky it has become famous:

    Well some call me the Space Cowboy,
    And some call me the Gangster of Love,
    And some me Maur-r-r-r-i-i-c-c-e (BWEEPP-BWEEW!!),
    Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love.


    This is the only place I have ever heard of the word "pompatus", or the expression, "Pompatus of Love".

    The short, topical poems of Ernest Noyes Brookings, as collected by David Greenberger in The Duplex Planet, subsequently set to music and recorded by a variety of artists, also come to mind. However, his output is a little more complex in its back story: Brookings was an odd and unpolished poet not out of laziness, but because of medical issues possibly relating to his age. And he was never stuck for a rhyme. Sometimes it wasn't a very good rhyme, sometimes it didn't make any sense, but he was never stuck for one. You've got to give him that.

    Duplex Nursing Home, 12 Harris Avenue,
    First floor, about ten rooms and recreation,
    It's a mix of occupants old and new,
    All with a normal natural secretion......

  21. #21
    Member moecurlythanu's Avatar
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    Muskrat, muskrat
    Candlelight
    Doin' the town
    And doin' it right in the evening
    It's pretty pleasing

    Muskrat Suzie
    Muskrat Sam
    Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
    And they shimmy
    Sam is so skinny

    And they whirl
    And they twirl and they tango
    Singing and jingling a jangle
    Float like the heavens above
    Looks like Muskrat Love

    Nibbling on bacon
    Chewing on cheese
    Sam says to Suzie
    Honey, would you please be my Mrs
    Suzie says yes with her kisses

    Now, he's tickling her fancy
    Rubbing her toes
    Muzzle to muzzle
    Now anything goes as they wriggle
    Sue starts to giggle

    And they whirled
    And they twirled and they tango
    Singing and jingling a jangle
    Floating like the heavens above
    Looks like muskrat love


    What a freaking debacle. Embarrassing.
    "If you want to see the true nature of humanity, just look at the internet."

    http://www.discogs.com/user/moecurlythanu/collection

  22. #22
    Jazzbo manqué Mister Triscuits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baribrotzer View Post
    This is the only place I have ever heard of the word "pompatus", or the expression, "Pompatus of Love".

  23. #23
    Always remembered this one by The Pipkins from when I was a kid:

    Gimme, Gimme Dat Ding Ah...
    Gimme Dat, Gimme Dat
    Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Dat
    Gimme Dat Ding, Gimme Dat
    Gimme, Gimme Dat, Gimme Dat Ding
    Gimme Dat, Gimme, Gimme Dat,
    Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Dat Ding (Oh Sing it one more time Momma)
    Oh, Gimme Dat, Gimme Dat
    Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Dat
    Gimme Dat Ding, Gimme Dat
    Gimme, Gimme Dat, Gimme Dat Ding
    Gimme Dat, Gimme, Gimme Dat,
    Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Dat Ding (Ah, you ain't doin' that late at night)
    "I want to be someone, who someone would want to be." Marillion

  24. #24
    NEARfest Officer Emeritus Nearfest2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paythesnuka View Post
    In the context of the song, those lyrics are great.
    The "Oh, it's you" is so lame that it's hilarious.
    Chad

  25. #25
    NEARfest Officer Emeritus Nearfest2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baribrotzer View Post
    This is the only place I have ever heard of the word "pompatus", or the expression, "Pompatus of Love".]
    It's a made up word. I see nothing wrong with a little fun. I'm sure there's an inside joke there somewhere.
    Chad

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