Page 2 of 13 FirstFirst 12345612 ... LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 315

Thread: Worst Lyrics Ever Recorded?

  1. #26
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    Oh boy this is a deep mine. Sometimes I love awful lyrics - I LOVE the Shaggs for example.

    OK back to what I hate and despise since, being a miserable old bastard, I cannot resist spreading bile and spewing venom.

    The first song that occurred to me is the god-awful, mind-bogglingly stupid and insipid The Piña Colada Song:

    And I said, "I never knew"
    That you like piña coladas
    And gettin' caught in the rain
    And the feel of the ocean
    And the taste of champagne
    If you like making love at midnight
    In the dunes on the cape
    You're the lady I've looked for
    Come with me and escape."

    Yeeech!

  2. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    350
    I hate to do this, but I have to say I found some of Orpheus Nine's lyrics absolutely cringe-worthy:

    "Imagination
    waves its hand of make-believe
    toward a playground where
    fairytales unfold:
    transcendental legends of
    zygotes and grace notes
    dancing in their womb,
    swimming in the tears of sweet
    bedlam’s barcarolle.

    Laughter of children
    drowns the screams of the sad clown
    until madness seems
    only memory —
    even as it lurks beneath
    the surface of sleep,
    haunting birth and death
    with festivals of questions.
    Rock? Paper? Scissors?

    Spot of cryptic tea?"

    And, I agree that sometimes "bad" lyrics can be great:
    From Harry Nilsson - and no...not the lime and coconut song:

    "You're breakin' my heart
    You're tearing it apart.
    So fuck you!"

  3. #28
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    ... and of course speaking of god-awful dreck, how can you beat Tales from Topographic Oceans? There is some wonderful music on that album, but honestly, the lyrics seem to have been farted out of the addled brain of a not-so-bright middle school student. IMO, it would be a monumental challenge indeed for a normal, literate person to formulate such an utterly execrable and nauseating word-salad without the benefit of a large dose of bad acid and several viscous blows to the head with a ball-peen hammer.

    A random sample:

    Getting over overhanging trees
    Let them rape the forest
    Thoughts would send our fusion
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean
    Or so it seems so clearly
    Sheltered with our passion
    Clearly to be home
    They move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    And I just can't believe our song will leave you
    Skyline teacher
    Warland seeker
    Send out poison
    Cast iron leader
    And through the rhythm of moving slowly
    Sent through the rhythm work out the story
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    Young Christians see it from the beginning
    Old people feel it that's what they're saying
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    The move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    A course towards a universal season
    Getting over overhanging trees let them
    Rape the forest, they might stand and leave them
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean

    Wow! Talk about an embarrassment! Maybe Bruford saw an advance copy of they lyrics and quit on the spot...

  4. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Lopez View Post
    "I Died Today"!!??!!

    I've never heard or seen this, but I'm betting there's some classic lines there.
    It's on Tzadik. You can find some songs on YT.

  5. #30
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    Quote Originally Posted by kenschwartz View Post
    I hate to do this, but I have to say I found some of Orpheus Nine's lyrics absolutely cringe-worthy:

    ....
    transcendental legends of
    zygotes and grace notes
    dancing in their womb,
    swimming in the tears of sweet
    bedlam’s barcarolle.


    Wow! What an exquisite apogee of utter verbal fecal matter! After that virtual coprophagia and capital crime against poetry, I feel like I need a shower, some mouthwash and a bottle of rum...

    Is the album any good? ;-)

  6. #31
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    350
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddhabreath View Post
    transcendental legends of
    zygotes and grace notes
    dancing in their womb,
    swimming in the tears of sweet
    bedlam’s barcarolle.


    Wow! What an exquisite apogee of utter verbal fecal matter! After that virtual coprophagia and capital crime against poetry, I feel like I need a shower, some mouthwash and a bottle of rum...

    Is the album any good? ;-)
    I honestly don't know. I can't make it past the lyrics.
    I saw them live last year at Progstock, and don't really remember them. That's probably all you need to know.

    I'm sure others will disagree. To each his/her own.

  7. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Baribrotzer View Post
    Steve Miller has many clankers.
    Absolutely. I still cannot fathom how he got in the R&RHOF. (Well, actually, I can.)


    How about "Cat Squirrel"?

    Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright

    Alright Alright Alright Alright
    "The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone!"

  8. #33
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    350
    Quote Originally Posted by ronmac View Post
    Absolutely. I still cannot fathom how he got in the R&RHOF. (Well, actually, I can.)


    How about "Cat Squirrel"?

    Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright

    Alright Alright Alright Alright
    Those lyrics are....alright

  9. #34
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    Quote Originally Posted by ronmac View Post
    Absolutely. I still cannot fathom how he got in the R&RHOF. (Well, actually, I can.)


    How about "Cat Squirrel"?

    Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright

    Alright Alright Alright Alright
    ....or

    Against the wind
    I'm still running against the wind
    I'm older now but still running against the wind
    Well, I'm older now and still running
    Against the wind
    Against the wind
    Against the wind
    Still running
    Against the wind
    I'm still running against the wind
    Against the wind
    I'm still running
    Against the wind
    I'm still running against the wind
    Against the wind
    Still running
    Against the wind
    Running against the wind, running against the wind
    Against the wind
    See the young man run
    Against the wind
    Watch the young man run
    Against the wind
    Watch the young man runnin'
    Against the wind
    He'll be runnin' against the wind
    Against the wind
    Let the cowboys ride
    Against the wind
    Mm
    Against the wind
    Let the cowboys ride
    Against the wind
    They'll be ridin' against the wind
    Against the wind
    Against the wind
    Against the wind
    Ridin' against the wind
    Against the wind
    Against the wind

  10. #35
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Portland, OR, USA
    Posts
    1,865
    Quote Originally Posted by ronmac View Post
    Absolutely. I still cannot fathom how he got in the R&RHOF. (Well, actually, I can.)
    He sold lots of records.

    And guys really resonate with his mellow-but-smooth dude persona, who loves 'em all and leaves 'em all, and is so mellow and so smooth that every one of those women thinks it's her fault, that she somehow dumped him even though she only wanted to stay with him, with such a mellow-but-smooth dude. And every ex of those women thinks it's his own fault she left him for such a mellow-but-smooth dude, that he just wasn't listening enough or understanding even when he did listen. And the mellow-but-smooth dude never gets blamed for anything, because he's so mellow and so smooth.

  11. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddhabreath View Post
    ... and of course speaking of god-awful dreck, how can you beat Tales from Topographic Oceans? There is some wonderful music on that album, but honestly, the lyrics seem to have been farted out of the addled brain of a not-so-bright middle school student. IMO, it would be a monumental challenge indeed for a normal, literate person to formulate such an utterly execrable and nauseating word-salad without the benefit of a large dose of bad acid and several viscous blows to the head with a ball-peen hammer.

    A random sample:

    Getting over overhanging trees
    Let them rape the forest
    Thoughts would send our fusion
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean
    Or so it seems so clearly
    Sheltered with our passion
    Clearly to be home
    They move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    And I just can't believe our song will leave you
    Skyline teacher
    Warland seeker
    Send out poison
    Cast iron leader
    And through the rhythm of moving slowly
    Sent through the rhythm work out the story
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    Young Christians see it from the beginning
    Old people feel it that's what they're saying
    Move over glory to sons of old fighters past
    The move fast, they tell me
    But I just can't believe they really mean to
    There's someone, to tell you
    A course towards a universal season
    Getting over overhanging trees let them
    Rape the forest, they might stand and leave them
    Clearly to be home
    Getting over wars we do not mean

    Wow! Talk about an embarrassment! Maybe Bruford saw an advance copy of they lyrics and quit on the spot...
    The music is so great, that it makes all this mambo-jumbo true poetry to me (but I am no native speaker and that must make a difference)

  12. #37
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Cary, NC
    Posts
    440
    There's a killer on the road.
    His brains are squirming like a toad

    And people consider Jim Morrison to be a "poet" [rolls eyes]
    Brian Dennehy: "I'm now 80 and I'm just another actor and that's fine with me. I've had a hell of a ride," ... "I have a nice house. I haven't got a palace, a mansion, but a pretty nice, comfortable home. I've raised a bunch of kids and sent them all to school, and they're all doing well. All the people that are close to me are reasonably healthy and happy. Listen, that's as much as anybody can hope for in life."

  13. #38
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Cary, NC
    Posts
    440
    Dreamer easy in the chair that really fits you
    Brian Dennehy: "I'm now 80 and I'm just another actor and that's fine with me. I've had a hell of a ride," ... "I have a nice house. I haven't got a palace, a mansion, but a pretty nice, comfortable home. I've raised a bunch of kids and sent them all to school, and they're all doing well. All the people that are close to me are reasonably healthy and happy. Listen, that's as much as anybody can hope for in life."

  14. #39
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    Quote Originally Posted by Painter View Post
    Dreamer easy in the chair that really fits you
    That line actually makes perfect sense if you use a straight light searching all the meanings of the song and at long last treatment of the telling that relates to all the words sung.

    Does that clear it up?

  15. #40
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Divided Snakes of America
    Posts
    1,981
    Quote Originally Posted by Zappathustra View Post
    The music is so great, that it makes all this mambo-jumbo true poetry to me (but I am no native speaker and that must make a difference)
    I can see that. It might just be that I have had some bad experiences trying to get over tree hangovers and forest raping...

  16. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddhabreath View Post
    I can see that. It might just be that I have had some bad experiences trying to get over tree hangovers and forest raping...

  17. #42
    Member Paulrus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    The Left Coast
    Posts
    2,170
    Quote Originally Posted by Baribrotzer View Post
    And guys really resonate with his mellow-but-smooth dude persona, who loves 'em all and leaves 'em all, and is so mellow and so smooth that every one of those women thinks it's her fault, that she somehow dumped him even though she only wanted to stay with him, with such a mellow-but-smooth dude.


    How about Craig Ferguson's lyrics from his Doctor Who special when he hosted the Late Late Show?

    In 1963 the BBC premiered a show about an alien
    Who traveled thru space and time to combat the powers of evil
    He's a force for good in an otherwise uncertain universe
    You are correct in your summation of his character my profane rabbit friend
    Oooh, tell me more
    The show has played in Britain, almost 50 years, with many different actors in the role of the doctor...
    The Doctor doesn't die he just regenerates
    The crocodile-alligator speaks the truth
    One thing is consistent though and this is why this show is so beloved by geeks and nerds...
    Its all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism
    Intellect and Romance over Brute Force and Cynicism
    I'm holding out for the Wilson-mixed 5.1 super-duper walletbuster special anniversary extra adjectives edition.

  18. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Shropshire, UK
    Posts
    299
    From "I see You" on the first Yes lp:

    I see you
    Everywhere behind your hair over there
    I see you
    I love you at your door second floor first world war

    (Don't blame Jon, this one was aritten by Jim McGuin and David Crosby)

  19. #44
    "Every day a little sadder, a little madder, Someone get me a ladder!"

    "Dang me, Dang me, they oughta get a rope and hang me."

  20. #45
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Philadelphia Area
    Posts
    1,805
    Quote Originally Posted by onward View Post

    "Dang me, Dang me, they oughta get a rope and hang me."
    Maybe it should be silly lyrics like

    “Work your fingers to the bone and what do you get? Boney fingers”


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  21. #46
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    Don't know what to do
    Don't know what to do
    Don't know what to do
    Tired of weeping
    Tired of moaning
    Tired of groaning for you
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    Tired of weeping
    Tired of moaning
    Tired of groaning for you
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    "And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision."

    Occasional musical musings on https://darkelffile.blogspot.com/

  22. #47
    He had white horses
    And ladies by the score
    All dressed in satin
    And waiting by the door


    The horses were dressed in satin?
    "The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone!"

  23. #48
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    7,765
    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Elf View Post
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    Don't know what to do
    Don't know what to do
    Don't know what to do
    Tired of weeping
    Tired of moaning
    Tired of groaning for you
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    Tired of weeping
    Tired of moaning
    Tired of groaning for you
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad
    I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
    Don't forget the drum solo.

  24. #49
    The Most Beautiful World in the World
    Harry Nilsson
    You come to the end
    And the light there is dimmer
    And chances are slimmer
    Of findin' your way
    You find that you stay out
    Of trouble and danger
    'Cause everything's stranger
    Than it used to be
    You're a scary old place out there world
    But I couldn't be happy without you
    And I swear all my thoughts are about you
    The most beautiful world in the world
    Well the light can be bright there
    And everything's right there
    The end of the night there might be a big band
    Or a heavenly choir--Or it might be the fire
    But no matter what happens
    I bet it's OK
    You're a scary old place out there world
    But I couldn't be happy without you
    And I swear all my thoughts are about you
    The most beautiful world in the world
    Your mountains when you're mad
    Your rivers when your sad
    And those deep blue seas
    I love you for your snow
    Your deserts down below
    I love the way you wear your trees
    The most beautiful world in the world
    And though there are times when I doubt you
    I just couldn't stay here without you
    So when you get older
    And over your shoulder
    You look back to see if it's real
    Tell her she's beautiful
    Roll the world over
    And give her a kiss and a feel

  25. #50
    Highly Evolved Orangutan JKL2000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Westchester, NY
    Posts
    16,529
    Quote Originally Posted by moecurlythanu View Post
    Muskrat, muskrat
    Candlelight
    Doin' the town
    And doin' it right in the evening
    It's pretty pleasing

    Muskrat Suzie
    Muskrat Sam
    Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
    And they shimmy
    Sam is so skinny

    And they whirl
    And they twirl and they tango
    Singing and jingling a jangle
    Float like the heavens above
    Looks like Muskrat Love

    Nibbling on bacon
    Chewing on cheese
    Sam says to Suzie
    Honey, would you please be my Mrs
    Suzie says yes with her kisses

    Now, he's tickling her fancy
    Rubbing her toes
    Muzzle to muzzle
    Now anything goes as they wriggle
    Sue starts to giggle

    And they whirled
    And they twirled and they tango
    Singing and jingling a jangle
    Floating like the heavens above
    Looks like muskrat love


    What a freaking debacle. Embarrassing.
    My wife and I had our first dance as husband and wife to that song.




    Just kidding, it sucks balls. My wife once told a neighbor how much she hated the song “The Rainbow Connection” and he said he’d sung that to their son every night of his life. Awkward...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •