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Thread: Boomers Cleaning Up After Parents Thread - "But Someone Could Use That!"

  1. #51
    Member Camelogue's Avatar
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    My 85 year old mom and dad still live in the house i grew up in. They have not saved a bunch of crap but I treasure some of the few things my dad saved. Articles that he wrote in the 50's and early 60's on prize fights involving Sugar Ray Robinson, Jersey Joe Walcott, Cassius Clay etc. Dad was a sportswriter.

    What a privilege it is to be 57 years old and still have both parents alive!

  2. #52
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    I imagine offspring combing through the belongings in the house of their elderly progfan parents.


    "What's this? 'Genesis'? Is that a book on a disc?"

    "No, it's a music album. Or it might be the name of the band... not sure".

    "Ah yes, here we are. 'Selling England by the Pound'. that's the name of the disc."

    "Never heard of it. No one will want that."

  3. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by Camelogue View Post

    What a privilege it is to be 57 years old and still have both parents alive!
    I'm 57 w/both parents alive and I beg to differ .....

  4. #54
    Member Jerjo's Avatar
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    My MiL passed away on Wednesday and we drove 225 miles yesterday to clean out her nursing home space. It was basically about the size of my college dorm room. Even though we had worked like farm help to get her moved into assisted living while peeling away as much worthless possessions as possible, the closet and drawers were still crammed with clothes. My sister-in-law had moved her from assisted living into the home and apparently when she had tried to get rid of some of those clothes she got a teary tantrum worthy of a two-year-old. So there we were, cramming all those old lady clothes into garbage bags and keeping very little of it. I apologized to the nursing home person and she said no worries, we're used to it. That generation hung on to crap with the tenacity of a bulldog.

    Now I've got a stack of the last of her belongings in our laundry room. My wife will sort through this in due time, just like she is sorting through the complex feelings she has for the woman who never failed to let her down.

    Note to self: when I'm old and fading, I swear to the gods old and new that I will divest of everything so my niece and nephew have nothing to deal with.
    I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.'- Bob Newhart

  5. #55
    Member Brian Griffin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerjo View Post
    My wife will sort through this in due time, just like she is sorting through the complex feelings she has for the woman who never failed to let her down.
    I'm sorry for your loss

    Love my MiL, (hey, delivering the dreamgirl should get you a lifetime pass), but she's progressing into some difficult areas with Alzheimers and causing us a lot of worry


    Quote Originally Posted by Jerjo View Post
    Note to self: when I'm old and fading, I swear to the gods old and new that I will divest of everything so my niece and nephew have nothing to deal with.
    I've been quite a hook up as Dad, if I cause them some grief as I get even more eccentric they're just going to have to deal with it!

    BG
    "When Yes appeared on stage, it was like, the gods appearing from the heavens, deigning to play in front of the people."

  6. #56
    Member Camelogue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supersonic Scientist View Post
    I'm 57 w/both parents alive and I beg to differ .....
    Sorry to hear that..... I still enjoy their company and conversation despite their many ailments and problems.

  7. #57
    Member Camelogue's Avatar
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    What the hell are they going to do with all of your vinyl, CD's or did you digitize everything?

  8. #58
    Member Vic2012's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camelogue View Post
    Sorry to hear that..... I still enjoy their company and conversation despite their many ailments and problems.
    Maybe we should start a club. I'm 57 and I only have one parent alive. Never really knew my dad so when I heard he died it meant nothing to me. He was estranged my whole life so I was completely indifferent. My mom and I always had a contentious relationship but she did the best she could under the circumstances. She raised two sons on her own, she never got remarried. Currently she's living in an assisted living facility and slowly deteriorating from the effects of a stroke, and dementia. It's really sad to see her this way. On my days off I visit her and I feed her because she struggles. Simple things we all take for granted are monumental chores for her. Every time I leave after a visit I sit in my car and cry for a few minutes. She doesn't deserve this.

  9. #59
    Count me in as another 57 year old.. one parent still living but on the slippery slope called dementia.. My Mom passed away 5 years ago from complications due to her dementia.. Visits are relatively short but valuable for both of us.. Same basic questions each visit.. "Do you know where this photo was taken?" as we move around his apartment etc. Last visit my sister had with him he didn't know who his daughter was.. remember when Mom got to that point.. Interesting times ahead for sure.. Glad he's still with us..

  10. #60
    Boy-oh-boy...I just signed consent forms to have my Dad admitted to a Hospice center here in Atlanta. I don't care HOW prepared you THINK you are for these situations, you're not really ready for the reality of it at all.

    I KNOW it's the best plan moving forward, it just doesn't make it any easier.

    The saddest part is; my 3 younger Brothers don't give a flying shit about Dad and could absolutely care less WHAT happens to him.

  11. #61
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    Sorry to heat it, SS. A shame about your brothers. My wife and I always seem to have to take control in our families crises because others won't lift a finger. But their around when the will is read! Hang in there.

  12. #62
    Studmuffin Scott Bails's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that, SS. Hoping for the best possible outcome for you and your family.
    Music isn't about chops, or even about talent - it's about sound and the way that sound communicates to people. Mike Keneally

  13. #63
    Member nosebone's Avatar
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    In two days, it'll be one year since my sister and myself moved mom up into a nursing home from her condo in Florida.

    It's been a real scary roller coaster ride dealing with her emotions, especially since she hates to leave the bed.
    no tunes, no dynamics, no nosebone

  14. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by Supersonic Scientist View Post
    Boy-oh-boy...I just signed consent forms to have my Dad admitted to a Hospice center here in Atlanta. I don't care HOW prepared you THINK you are for these situations, you're not really ready for the reality of it at all.

    I KNOW it's the best plan moving forward, it just doesn't make it any easier.

    The saddest part is; my 3 younger Brothers don't give a flying shit about Dad and could absolutely care less WHAT happens to him.
    Yeah, sounds about par for the course. Good luck with that.

    My sis talks a big game then turns around and does nothing about anything. So I've stopped talking to her and her husband. Of course, I'm the problem in the family, at least according to them. It all sucks but I am not going to just let them crap on me. They want to do that they can do it when I'm not around because there is no way I'm going to walk into a house where all that happens is I get dumped on.

    The whole lot are living in denial. Whatever, I just won't deal with them if that's the case.

    I've got nearly a thousand bucks saved up. Hopefully I can get another thousand, 1500 and buy a car, the first step to freedom. Work is off the rails this month with huge catering orders for the holidays and lots of business besides that so I'm hoping to meet my goal by the end of the month or sometime in January as it's still a bit busy that month.
    Carry On My Blood-Ejaculating Son - JKL2000

  15. #65
    Quote Originally Posted by jglfan View Post
    Sorry to heat it, SS. A shame about your brothers. My wife and I always seem to have to take control in our families crises because others won't lift a finger. But their around when the will is read! Hang in there.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Bails View Post
    Sorry to hear that, SS. Hoping for the best possible outcome for you and your family.
    Thanks guys, Always know I can rely on peeps here to "vent" to. Since most of us are around the same age and at the same "mileposts" in life, it helps to know that my community friends can empathize. My Wife has been my rock for the past weeks (years, really)

  16. #66
    Wow, this thread again... December makes 4 years that my mom is dead now and I really feel for those of you who are dealing with aging parents. To show how much of a compulsive shopper she was ("but it's on sale!)... I have not had to buy a bar of soap, a package of Q-Tips or a box of baking soda in the past 4 years.

    Are all of us here 57 years old?!
    "Moustache stays right where it's at" - Clutch

  17. #67
    Outraged bystander markwoll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Garden Dreamer View Post
    Are all of us here 57 years old?!
    Funny how that is.
    Or at least in a plus or minus 5 year range for the majority.
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
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  18. #68
    Highly Evolved Orangutan JKL2000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by markwoll View Post
    Funny how that is.
    Or at least in a plus or minus 5 year range for the majority.
    Yes, minus 5 for me thank you very much. Fortunately my wife is 6 years younger than me, so should be able to shut the lid on my casket!

    SS, I know how hard all that crap is - my relationship with my two brothers has been strained for a long time. Well, with one of them, the other has mellowed. Dividing all the tchotchkes my mother collected over the years has stretched for two years - so far!! If my wife didn't want our fair share I'd wash my hands of it, but she's into all that stuff. Ah, this mortal coil!

  19. #69
    My Dad peacefully passed away in his sleep early this morning.....Strange, I feel both sadness AND I have the feeling that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    ...soon shall come the REAL processing of this...

    JKL2000: I never would have guessed that that is how you spell: Tchotchkes !!!

  20. #70
    Highly Evolved Orangutan JKL2000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supersonic Scientist View Post
    My Dad peacefully passed away in his sleep early this morning.....Strange, I feel both sadness AND I have the feeling that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    ...soon shall come the REAL processing of this...

    JKL2000: I never would have guessed that that is how you spell: Tchotchkes !!!
    I had some help from my iPhone.

  21. #71
    Member BobM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supersonic Scientist View Post
    My Dad peacefully passed away in his sleep early this morning.....Strange, I feel both sadness AND I have the feeling that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    ...soon shall come the REAL processing of this...

    JKL2000: I never would have guessed that that is how you spell: Tchotchkes !!!
    Deepest sympathy. Don't feel guilty about being relieved. It's been a difficult time for you. It is only natural.
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  22. #72
    Orange Tick Squasher Buddhabreath's Avatar
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    My sympathies as well for all going through this. My mom turned 90 this year and is still in her house and worse, still driving and is adamant about continuing to drive despite loopiness, very bad hearing and not-so-good eyesight. So we're wrestling with both the living independently and driving issues.

    Anyone have any words of wisdom of getting an aging parent to stop driving?
    The combined fortunes of the world's 26 richest individuals reached $1.4 trillion last year — the same amount as the total wealth of the 3.8 billion poorest people.

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  23. #73
    Member BobM's Avatar
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    My dad experienced a minor seizure, not while driving though. It was a fairly simple conversation to convince him that if that happened when he was driving he could hurt someone else. It was difficult taking away his freedom, and he definitely went down hill after that, some of which I attribute to taking away the car. So be careful what you wish for.
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  24. #74
    Member Jerjo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supersonic Scientist View Post
    My Dad peacefully passed away in his sleep early this morning.....Strange, I feel both sadness AND I have the feeling that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    ...soon shall come the REAL processing of this...
    My sympathies for your loss. Yeah, you'll have a lot to process. And three younger brothers to tell to go to hell when they cry crocodile tears.
    I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.'- Bob Newhart

  25. #75
    Member Vic2012's Avatar
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    My sympathy too. I'm dealing with two sick, old women. I'm it. I'm the one who's gotta deal with it all by myself.

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