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Thread: Boomers Cleaning Up After Parents Thread - "But Someone Could Use That!"

  1. #251
    Banned Dave (in MA)'s Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss.

  2. #252
    Member Vic2012's Avatar
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    Condolences Ed.

  3. #253
    Occipital Provocatee Plasmatopia's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss, Ed.
    Just sitting at home rocking back and forth and jealously caressing my invisible collection of theoretical assets.

  4. #254
    Member Lopez's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that, Ed. You've been a good son. Hope I will be the same when it's my mom's turn.
    Lou

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  5. #255
    Member since March 2004 mozo-pg's Avatar
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    Ed - I lost both my parents, 3 days apart, 8 years ago - still hurts. My condolences to you and your family. I think taking on the responsibilities you did shows you were a good son.
    What can this strange device be? When I touch it, it brings forth a sound.

  6. #256
    Hail and farewell, Ed's Mom; may I be as good a son when my parents' time comes.
    Maka ki ecela tehani yanke lo!

  7. #257
    Member nosebone's Avatar
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    Condolences Ed
    no tunes, no dynamics, no nosebone

  8. #258
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    Very sorry for your loss.

  9. #259
    I want to thank those who said kind words about my mother's passing. The first day or two I would start to walk to her room to see if she needed anything, then after a couple days it almost seems like she was never here.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  10. #260
    Sorry to hear this. Dementia is a nasty way to go.
    Carry On My Blood-Ejaculating Son - JKL2000

    HODOR!

  11. #261
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    I want to thank those who said kind words about my mother's passing. The first day or two I would start to walk to her room to see if she needed anything, then after a couple days it almost seems like she was never here.
    I know when my parents passed, it took me a good year to get over the feeling that I had to call them about some news story, or ask their advice on something, or just tell them some exciting news.

    A piece of me died with them.

  12. #262
    Member BobM's Avatar
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    Dementia puts a huge amount of strain and stress on the ones taking care of parents. Don't be guilty if you have feelings of relief now that she is gone, it's natural. Remember that you did the right thing for so long and you deserve the break.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  13. #263
    We just moved my mother-in-law out of assisted living and into board-and-care/hospice. It's sad, even though I never really liked or got on with her. She was a proud intelligent woman who worked really hard for her lower-grade and kindergarten students, especially those who didn't speak English as a first language (or at all), and I at least respected her. Now she's a shell - advanced dementia is devastating.
    Maka ki ecela tehani yanke lo!

  14. #264
    Quote Originally Posted by rcarlberg View Post
    I know when my parents passed, it took me a good year to get over the feeling that I had to call them about some news story, or ask their advice on something, or just tell them some exciting news.

    A piece of me died with them.
    I always thought I would have time to spend with my father but he passed in 1988. His last year and a half was spent going to doctor visits or open heart surgeries. The year and a half before that was spent in passing my father visiting my infant son who went into Hopkins diagnosed at eight months with adult leukemia. I think losing his grandson took a lot out of him.
    NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS!

  15. #265
    Member rcarlberg's Avatar
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    Yikes, two generations. You have my condolences, Shadow.

  16. #266
    Member since March 2004 mozo-pg's Avatar
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    I have complete empathy but this thread can be depressing. I'm only 57 but Steve entering assisted living and all this death makes you think about your own mortaiity/health. I miss Steve around here and wish I knew the mailing addresss for his new place so I could send a card/CD.
    What can this strange device be? When I touch it, it brings forth a sound.

  17. #267
    ALL ACCESS Gruno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mozo-pg View Post
    I have complete empathy but this thread can be depressing. I'm only 57 but Steve entering assisted living and all this death makes you think about your own mortaiity/health. I miss Steve around here and wish I knew the mailing addresss for his new place so I could send a card/CD.
    I'm with ya there!

  18. #268
    Member moecurlythanu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    I always thought I would have time to spend with my father but he passed in 1988. His last year and a half was spent going to doctor visits or open heart surgeries. The year and a half before that was spent in passing my father visiting my infant son who went into Hopkins diagnosed at eight months with adult leukemia. I think losing his grandson took a lot out of him.
    Man, you have been through it. Nothing I can say, but I feel for you.
    He did not know that the sword he'd hold, would turn his priceless empire into fool's gold...

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  19. #269
    Member Jerjo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    I always thought I would have time to spend with my father but he passed in 1988. His last year and a half was spent going to doctor visits or open heart surgeries. The year and a half before that was spent in passing my father visiting my infant son who went into Hopkins diagnosed at eight months with adult leukemia. I think losing his grandson took a lot out of him.
    Ye gods, that's terrible. After the news of Kobe Bryant broke the media were talking about his wife losing her husband. I don't know the first thing about her but my guess is she could go on without Kobe. It's the daughter that's devastating. Fuck, losing your spouse is one thing but losing a child or grandchild, that's the one that will do you in.
    I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.'- Bob Newhart

  20. #270
    Member since March 2004 mozo-pg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerjo View Post
    Ye gods, that's terrible. After the news of Kobe Bryant broke the media were talking about his wife losing her husband. I don't know the first thing about her but my guess is she could go on without Kobe. It's the daughter that's devastating. Fuck, losing your spouse is one thing but losing a child or grandchild, that's the one that will do you in.
    Some people are extremely resiliant. Think Neil Peart
    What can this strange device be? When I touch it, it brings forth a sound.

  21. #271
    Member Camelogue's Avatar
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    My Dad passed away in November a few weeks shy of 90. My mother is going to leave the family home next week for a senior apartment. Most of the crap left in their home is my sister's who lives in Ithaca. (She is in Pittsburgh) I want a few of my Dad's writings (he was a sportswriter) and a lithograph of my grandfather I bought for my Dad years ago done by Kate Rooney (of the Steeler Rooneys) My grandfather was quarterback of the Hope Harvery football team that Art Rooney parlayed later into the Pittsburgh Steelers.

  22. #272
    Insect Overlord Progatron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    I want to thank those who said kind words about my mother's passing. The first day or two I would start to walk to her room to see if she needed anything, then after a couple days it almost seems like she was never here.
    I'm sorry to hear it. In a few days, my mom will have been gone 27 years. Sometimes I almost forget her face and what her voice sounded like. Isn't that awful?

    My Dad turns 83 tomorrow. He got a birthday card from his sister, and he asked me today to get her phone # because he can't find it. So I contact my cousin (her son) and he tells me she passed away in her sleep Monday night, and they haven't made the announcement yet. I can't tell him the news tonight and it's his birthday tomorrow (the first one since my sister died last April). Now what am I supposed to do? He's had too many of these slaps in the face, losing his wife, his daughter, and now his last surviving sibling.
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  23. #273
    Member Yodelgoat's Avatar
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    I have become my parents. I see it, I feel it and I cannot resist it, no matter how I try. I'm gonna leave some bizarre shit for my kids to find when they clean up after me... Just in case I can laugh when I see the look on their faces.
    I got nothin'

    ...avoiding any implication that I have ever entertained a cognizant thought.

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  24. #274
    Progatron, whatever you choose to do is gonna suck so I guess use your own judgement. I'm a big help, I know.

    That's a really crappy place to be in. I had a not so similar but equally heart wrenching deals with both of my grandparent's death's. Put Mom on a flight back to Indianapolis and got the call they had passed. Way before cell phones so I couldn't call Mom on the plane.

    Life is so fucking stupid.
    Carry On My Blood-Ejaculating Son - JKL2000

    HODOR!

  25. #275
    Member since March 2004 mozo-pg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Progatron View Post
    I'm sorry to hear it. In a few days, my mom will have been gone 27 years. Sometimes I almost forget her face and what her voice sounded like. Isn't that awful?

    My Dad turns 83 tomorrow. He got a birthday card from his sister, and he asked me today to get her phone # because he can't find it. So I contact my cousin (her son) and he tells me she passed away in her sleep Monday night, and they haven't made the announcement yet. I can't tell him the news tonight and it's his birthday tomorrow (the first one since my sister died last April). Now what am I supposed to do? He's had too many of these slaps in the face, losing his wife, his daughter, and now his last surviving sibling.
    That's and extremely hard blow for your Dad. So much loss. My parents died 3 days apart. When my Mom died (they were both very sick in a nursing home), I had to break the news to my Dad. He's just said, "I thought she turned the corner". I hated doing that but it was necessary. With my Mom gone, I think he willed himself to die. I also always reminder my Dad joking, sort of, "I'm never going to a nursing home where they'll wipe my ass". I had to reflect on that at the time. they were so fiercely independent and it was so hard to see them so weak. My oldest brother, who was developmental disability, choked on a piece of chicken and died 2 years ago. That was really sad/painful. Thanks be that I didn't have to pass the news to my parents who were highly engaged and supportive in my brother's life. I got to spent 4 days by his side in the hospital before he passed. It still makes me cry.
    What can this strange device be? When I touch it, it brings forth a sound.

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