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prognoir
12-05-2012, 01:03 PM
Well, this is kinda fun/funny.

In 1994, Guitar World administered a “blindfold test” to Yngwie Malmsteen — which was basically like Decibel‘s monthly “Call & Response” column: the artist is played a bunch of songs without being told who those songs are by, and is then asked to comment. GW has now re-published that article online, and Yngwie’s then-responses to various metal bands are, needless to say, quite entertaining.


Listening to Metallica, Malmsteen praises Lars Ulrich as “a great drummer,” humbly asserts that “I’m not saying I influenced [Metallica], but maybe I did,” and criticizes Kirk Hammett, accusing his solos of being the “anticlimax” of the song: “I don’t think that he plays with musicality, or plays in tune.” When discussing Pantera, Malmsteen condemns Phil Anselmo’s vocals, stating that he ”couldn’t find enough words to describe my disgust” for the singer’s style: “It sounds like somebody is either shoving something up the vocalist’s ass, or something is coming out of his ass and mouth at the same time.” Yngwie thought that Dream Theater was “by far, one of the best bands to come out recently,” but hated drummer Mike Portnoy, whose “choice of beats is terrible” and “[has] obviously listened to too much Neal Peart [Rush] over the years and needs to take a Valium.”

And, oh yeah, he thought that Death sucked altogether:

MALMSTEEN: The singer sounds like he’s sitting on a toilet seat, pushing a big one. I can’t stand it! It sounds like the band can’t decide which song to play. This beat-change bullshit — I don’t like it. The guitarist isn’t awful; he actually has a decent vibrato. But I can’t get off on it.

GW: But isn’t this a bit similar to what Metallica plays, which you do like?

MALMSTEEN: It is, but it isn’t as good. But I like that the bassist is playing fretless. However, the fact that he’s playing out of tune isn’t so tasty. Also, the production is awful; it sounds like the song was recorded on a Fostex 4-track.

By the way, he’s specifically referring to “The Philosopher,” from Individual Thought Patterns, which was produced by Scott Burns and Chuck Schuldiner. So, uh, yeah.

Anyway, we’ve all said things in the past that we probably regret, but we don’t all have those things re-published eighteen years later for everyone to laugh at. Read the complete article here.

-AR

Yanks2014
12-05-2012, 01:07 PM
It just seems to me he had an issue with death-metal style vocals. For that he was spon on. Odd comment on Portnoy, guess he also didn't think much of Peart. These are on the humorous side, but I'm not sure why he should regret saying these things.

trurl
12-05-2012, 01:30 PM
I would never accuse Yngwie of not being a tool, but I would generally agree with Yanks here. I do take issue with the backhanded slap at Neal, though I'm not a huge defender of Portnoy either.

trurl
12-05-2012, 01:31 PM
BTW, not seeing a link...

progholio
12-06-2012, 02:35 PM
yngwie's greatest contribution to humanity is linked below, so great in fact Youtube had to take it down because it was too intense for the common person.

so please, sit through the commercial at the beginning and you will be rewarded with all of Yngwie's virtuosity, seriously.




http://en.zappinternet.com/video/PiWbGotWec/Yngwie-Malmsteen-parody

trurl
12-06-2012, 03:41 PM
yngwie's greatest contribution to humanity is linked below, so great in fact Youtube had to take it down because it was too intense for the common person.

so please, sit through the commercial at the beginning and you will be rewarded with all of Yngwie's virtuosity, seriously.


Nice. That must be from the guy who does the "----- shreds!" videos :D

progholio
12-06-2012, 04:43 PM
yngwie's talents and influence spill wide into the artistic community


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUBhD3XMvJ0

trurl
12-06-2012, 05:55 PM
Damn, that's harsh.

Scott Bails
12-06-2012, 07:33 PM
:lol:lol:lol

GuitarGeek
12-06-2012, 08:14 PM
Actually, I would tend to agree with Yngwie's comments about Anselmo, Portnoy, and the Death vocalist (isn't he supposed to be the guy who invented Cookie Monster Vocals?).

The comment I thought was hilarious was in Guitar Player one time when he said that on the record he did with Joe Lynn Turner he was "generous" because Turner came up with some of the vocal melodies and lyrics, but maintained that on all his other records he wrote everything himself. Yeah, like that's anything to brag about. It's not like he was writing Bob Dylan or Lennon/McCartney level songs. Hell, Gene Simmons is a better songwriter than Yngwie Malmsteen (or at least he was during the 70's).

But the really funny one was a thing that one of the guitar magazines did back in the mid 90's, where the A/B'd pictures of Yngwie and Ritchie Blackmore performing. They pointed how they both played CBS era Strats, customized in the same way (middle pickup lowered all the way, scalloped finerboard), plugged into Marshall amps (this being before Blackmore switched his allegiance to Engl, I think it was), with same amount of "excessive" curly cues of string on the headstock. They were even wearing the same style black leather fringe jacket. They then went on to note other similarities, eg both were influenced by classical music, both worked with Joe Lynn Turner and Graham Bonnett, both were known to be bad tempered, with the inability to keep a stable lineup in their respective bands (how many singers and bass players did Deep Purple go through?). And I believe when Yngwie did his all covers album in the mid 90's, half the songs were came from the Deep Purple and Rainbow catalogs. I think their final conclusion was that the evidence suggests that Yngwie was in fact literally cloned from Blackmore!

Scott Bails
12-06-2012, 08:23 PM
Yeah, well, Yngwie freely admits his admiration for Blackmore.

GuitarGeek
12-06-2012, 10:32 PM
Yeah, well, Yngwie freely admits his admiration for Blackmore.

Admiring a musician and blatantly trying to copy said musician's entire career are two completely different things. I admire Jeff Beck, but never in a million years would I want to be in a band with Mr. Do You Think I'm Sexy.

I admire Jerry Garcia, but I wouldn't play a guitar that's so heavy that it actually causes damage to my back. Well, I might play such a guitar, but it wouldn't be my main axe.

I admire Eric Johnson, but I wouldn't sit around trying different brands of batteries in my fuzztones, trying to figure out which one sounds best, nor would I use a rubber band to keep the access in place on a Fuzz Face, nor would I worry about extra inch of guitar cord it would take to lay said Fuzz-Face NEXT to my Echoplex, rather sitting on top of it.

Scott Bails
12-06-2012, 10:34 PM
Well, that's why you're not Yngwie Malmsteen. ;)

dropforge
12-08-2012, 04:24 AM
"Unless we forgot something. Ah, yes! Piss stains." :lol:rofl :lol

Baribrotzer
12-08-2012, 06:34 AM
And then there's this comment from Brian Kenney Fresno, possibly the world's only prog stand-up comedian:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq6QSCLdqRs

If you can't quite see it, the actual music is coming from a toy he's holding over the pickup of his Warr guitar.

Said toy being a "Microjammer" - a guitar-shaped plastic gadget with four or five buttons that play digital samples of different guitar licks.

kid_runningfox
12-10-2012, 11:59 AM
I remember seeing that article in Guitar World at the time and thought that it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know: that whatever his technical expertise at flailing up and down the harmonic minor scale, Yngwie Malmsteen is basically a royal tool.