OptiquesJeff..the announcement I did not want to make

[ViolinCyndee]

I am starting a separate thread because of the importance of this announcement. I am devastated to tell you all that the chemo did not work. Jeff is on hospice in our home, and the focus will be on symptom management.

Though I was expecting this, it is different when it's really happening. So final and so heavy.. I cannot even process what is going on, and it's taking a toll on me as well. Jeff and I appreciate all of the love you have been showing us, more than we can express.. I am completely heartbroken...

[Scott Bails]

I don't have the words, Cyndee....


Please let Jeff know that I wish you both peace.

[Lopez]

This news breaks my heart. What a struggle. I am indeed saddened.

[Cats On Glue]

:( stay strong cyndee

[Dan Roth]

So sad to hear of this. I'm with Scott...wishing you both peace.

[sdavmor]

This is the worst possible news. I remember how supportive you were when Greg Amov was dying. Now it's time for me to reciprocate.

[wideopenears]

I'm sorry.:(

[WHORG]

Make him smile and love him.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone.. just devastating..

[100423]

Cyndee, much love and peace to you and Jeff.

[VickiLynn]

Peace, love and strength to you both as you travel through this experience together.

[progeezer]

Make him smile and love him.Good advice, Cyn. Just devastated here too, hon! This is a journey no one wants to make, and palliative care isn't just done by hospice staff. You're on the team too.

I love you guys and wish peace for both of you.

[ffroyd]

Cyndee and Jeff, I just want to say that I don't have very many really close friends and it is an honor to be yours. We have had some really fun times that I will cherish forever. I'm glad I had a chance to visit with you and some of our other friends last night. It was a beautiful peaceful evening and the frogs seemed to be singing just for him.

Love and peace to you both.


Floyd

[ViolinCyndee]

Cyndee and Jeff, I just want to say that I don't have very many really close friends and it is an honor to be yours. We have had some really fun times that I will cherish forever. I'm glad I had a chance to visit with you and some of our other friends last night. It was a beautiful peaceful evening and the frogs seemed to be singing just for him.

Love and peace to you both.


Floyd

Awww.. Floyd.. so beautiful.. xoxo

[sdavmor]

You are a very classy and courageous woman, Cyndee. In the midst of disaster you are amazing me. Hold your head high. Much love to you and Jeff.

[NeonKnight]

So sad to hear this Cyndee. Jeff will be missed.

Good thoughts to you both, and I hope his next journey is easier then the crappy way this one turned out.

Been a rough few months around PE lately. First Ark and now Jeff. Godspeed.

[Amy]

Cyndee - my heart is heavy and I can't imagine how yours feels. I wish you and Jeff so much strength during this time. The courage and spirit of both of you has been incredible.
Much love, light, and peace to you both,

Amy

[ProgFamily]

Our thoughts are with you both.

[JKL2000]

Such sad news, Cyndee. Jeff is lucky in having you, that's for sure. I hope the coming time passes as easily as it possibly can.

Jed

[ViolinCyndee]

All of your support means to much to us... xoxo

[Duncan Glenday]

Please let Jeff know that Arhlene and I still have both of you in our thoughts and prayers. We continue to hope that you both manage to find peace in some way, and that Jeff is as comfortable as possible.


Make him smile and love him.

Sage advice. It will help you both.

[zombywoof]

Make sure you pass along to Jeff how much I appreciated how you and he (along with many others) made my friend Billy and I feel welcome at NEARfest. Stay strong, Cyndee, I honestly can say that I have no idea how you must be feeling right now. All I can say is that this really bums me out.

[ForeverAutumn]

I don't have the words, Cyndee....


Please let Jeff know that I wish you both peace.

I think that Scott sums things up for me too. I'm speechless. I wish that there was something that I could do or say to make this better for you both. Just know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace and love. My heart goes out to you.

[mozo-pg]

The only thing I can say is how terribly sorry I am to hear your news.

[Casey]

Peace be with you. Love is eternal, unbreakable, & unfathomable. You are both loved.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks to everyone for all of your love during this difficult time in our lives.. xoxo

[tom unbound]

(please click on picture for Jeff smiling)
1877

Words escape me. Stay strong, and, yes, make each other smile. Sending peace and love.......

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you Tom... xoxo

[Jerjo]

You have my deepest sympathies Cyndee. I cannot imagine what it must be like to see one's soul mate go away like this. May you have enough time to find peace, to hold hands, to say a proper goodbye.

[moecurlythanu]

Just gutted to read this, Cyndee. You are both quality people, and this is sad beyond words. The affection and respect we have for you guys will always be there.

[laurainspace]

sooo sad and sending you love.

[spellbound]

Sorry to hear this, Cyndee. I have never met you or Jeff in person, but I have been active on PE a lot of years, and I can't let your announcement go without a response. Despite the fact that the end always leaves me at a loss for words, saying nothing just won't do. So I am sending peace, love, and hugs across the miles to both of you.

"May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide you all the way on." - Mike Heron, The Incredible String Band

[Jefferson James]

Absolutely heartbroken to hear this. :( All I can say is I am grateful to have had the chance to meet Jeff a couple years ago. So very sad. Hang in there, the both of you. Sending sunlight-splashed positive vibes your way as best I can.

[ViolinCyndee]

Everyone's love in this thread is just beautiful... xoxo

[Modry Effekt]

Love you Jeff and Cyndee.
Music is a healing power always.You are on my thoughts.
Pink Floyd - Grantchester Meadows (1970 live)


http://youtu.be/ciVxBOAvbLc

[Plasmatopia]

Peace and love be with you both.

[Brian Griffin]

I'm so sorry to hear this Cyndee

I'm wishing you all the strength you need, and all peace possible

BG

[Rarebird]

Sad news for both of you. I hope the two of you are able to make the most of the time, you have together. Sending my best wishes to both of you.

[Reid]

Hi Cyndee,

I'll be thinking of you and Jeff in this difficult time.

Reid

[Progatron]

I'm very sorry to hear this, as we all are. I hope you find the strength you need.

[Kevfeeley]

So sorry to hear this Cyndee. Make the best of what you have together. I wish I could do something.

[Rune Blackwings]

I am sorry you had to make this announcement, too. You are both very nice and very kind and if there was an epitome of soul mates, it is you two. I wish both of you the strength to face this tough time. If you need anyone, we are here for you, both on the forum and in life.

[wilcox660]

My love to both of you through this & always.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone... :( xoxo

[progeezer]

There is indeed a whole lotta love here for both of you. This really is a community for many, Cyn, and your virtual neighbors are all here for you.

[IMWeasel]

*hugs to you both* I know I havent been around much lately but I always really enjoyed chatting to you both. All my best...

[LASERCD]

Jeff:

It was great to see you and Cyndee in chat last night. Felt like old times. |)

Ken

[Don Arnold]

Hard to find the right words ~ my thoughts and prayers continue for you both. Thanks for sharing this journey with us

[Klonk]

Ah shit, so very sorry to hear this news. I'm not here much anymore and just happen to stumble on this thread. Shooting good vibes your way...vibes much like that of a novelty hand buzzer. :)

My thoughts are with you in sssssssssspppppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccce eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

[Magic Mountain]

I've been traveling the last two weeks and haven't been around. I am so sorry to hear this Cyndee. I'm not a wordsmith, so anything I write will be inadequate. For the last 6 years, I have always looked forward to Sat night chat and Jeff's green emoticons. I hope that your remaining time together is filled with peace, love, and happiness.

[Esoteric]

Cyndee

So very, very sorry--you do him proud gal! , if theres anything I can send Jeff musically (and I hate saying this as it seems trivial but is all I can offer to help from here in the UK) please let me know. Warrior on the Edge of Time boxset--whatever he wants (if anything at all) PM me.

[Cats On Glue]

what a nice gesture :up

[Scott Bails]

Wow. Very nice, indeed.

[ViolinCyndee]

Cyndee

So very, very sorry--you do him proud gal! , if theres anything I can send Jeff musically (and I hate saying this as it seems trivial but is all I can offer to help from here in the UK) please let me know. Warrior on the Edge of Time boxset--whatever he wants (if anything at all) PM me.

WOW.. very touched, and he would really be too.. xoxo.. I will PM you too with our address. . xoxo

[ViolinCyndee]

Love you all... xoxo

[DrGoon]

Jeff and Cyndee - love you both! Fill your lives with as much happiness and love as you can. If there's anything we can do, please let us know.

[gryphs also]

I never got around to meeting either of you at festivals but have enjoyed reading many posts here. As someone who survived a car crash and had no right to walk away from, I look at every day I wake up as a good day and an extra one. Please look at every day with Jeff as one more than you could have had. Every moment is special and a gift.

[Scott Bails]

Great sentiment, gryphs. :up

[Magog]

So sorry to hear this news. Stay strong.

Matt

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone.. The painkillers are very potent, so he is not as depressed as before he started them. He is wasted much of the time and sleeping lots of the time. It is not any easier for me, however... I am just trying to focus on living in the 'now' with him.. Painful though.. :(

[Mr. Toad]

Spend as much time with him as you can and tell him that Ol' Toad is thinking about him.

[ViolinCyndee]

I have taken off from work for the rest of his time.. He does sleep most of the time, which is actually good.. But I try to get him to sit outside with me on nice days.

[progeezer]

What Toad said but replace with GEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZEEEERRRRR!! (the way Jeff always greets me whether online or face to face:))

[kid_runningfox]

So sorry to hear this, Cyndee. Good thoughts heading to you and Jeff from this side of the Pond.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks everyone... :( xoxo

[dropforge]

:( Crap...sorry to just see this, Cyn. Really sorry to read of this development (which is now a week old). Thinking of you both...

[jazzcat]

i am so sorry to read this news. i'm glad you have each other. i'll continue to send good thoughts and prayers for peace your way. virtual hugs to you both-

[Seven8]

Just crushed by this news. I can only imagine what you are going through. Peace to you both.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks everyone... Yes, I am devastated to watch him diminish in front of my eyes. Thankfully, the meds are powerful enough that he doesn't have any idea what is going on most of the time. He is either very wasted, or usually sleeping.. It's just me alone, watching him go away... His Mom does come over every day, and we have had some friends stop over, which is good. I have decreased the amount of visitors now, though, since he needs more quiet for sleeping.. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but really appreciate all of your love and support during this time.. I will need it for after, too.. :(

[progeezer]

No one here is going anywhere, Cyn.

In 2003 I went through the same thing you're enduring right now when I watched my soulmate, Karen (and while I love Kay, who I re-connected with in 2006 after 32 years, even she knows that I'll never stop grieving) fade away just 5 weeks after her initial cancer diagnosis.

I only relate this so that you know if you want to talk to someone anytime who has indeed walked in your shoes, PM me.:(

[ViolinCyndee]

No one here is going anywhere, Cyn.

In 2003 I went through the same thing you're enduring right now when I watched my soulmate, Karen (and while I love Kay, who I re-connected with in 2006 after 32 years, even she knows that I'll never stop grieving) fade away just 5 weeks after her initial cancer diagnosis.

I only relate this so that you know if you want to talk to someone anytime who has indeed walked in your shoes, PM me.:(

So sorry for your loss Geezer... This is the most cruel disease ever.. Jeff calls it, "death by 1000 cuts". Yes, it's cutting him slowly, but also me.. watching helplessly. All I can do is try to comfort him as much as possible.. :(

[walt]

I wish both of you peace and the strength to carry on through what must be a living nightmare.

[ViolinCyndee]

I wish both of you peace and the strength to carry on through what must be a living nightmare.

Thank you.. that is exactly what it is. In the back of my mind I feel like I will wake up and it'll just be a nightmare and everything will be back to normal again. Or back to: "he is not dying afterall".. :(

[arabicadabra]

Cyndee I'm praying for you both - even though I never met Jeff he seems like a lovely guy - my heart goes out to you both at this time.

[VickiLynn]

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you both and picturing you surrounded by peace and strength. When my father was on hospice, the worker was an angel for me because I could speak with her about anything and she was such a comfort. I spoke to her about things I could not say to my mother because she wouldn't talk about death. I hope you have someone like that who you can voice all your concerns to.

[Snowboundstreet]

Cyndee, I'm so sorry! I haven't been on PE for ages, Jim just let me know.

Our strength and love to you both. Wrap my arms around you, Dear.

Geezer is so right:
No one here is going anywhere, Cyn.

Let us know if we can help.

[Digital_Man]

Hi Cyn, I'm glad I had the chance to chat with you the other night(under my other username Mike413). We are all here for you to tell us how you are feeling and what you are going through in this very difficult time. Please stay strong and know that we are all here for you if you need us.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone.. I know I have to be strong for him.. He needs me, so I am trying to be everything he needs now, as much as possible.. He is really starting to become increasingly incoherent, with moments of lucidity in between sleeping. So, so sad to see.. :(

[ViolinCyndee]

UPDATE: Jeff has been on hospice in our home for 2 1/2 weeks now.. Things are slowing down for him. He has had fluid retention in his foot and ankle for days, and severe drymouth. He needs help walking even a few feet to the bathroom, and is in his hospital bed in the livingroom all night and all day. The painkillers are extremely potent, and essential for him at this point. Not only do they help him with the sharp pain under his rib, but they also relax him, and let him sleep, rather than thinking about what is to come. This has been the most surreal and difficult time of our lives, and we are so lucky to have all of your support and love. I couldn't be as strong as I am without all of you.

[ForeverAutumn]

Cyndee, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how unbearable it must be for you to watch the man you love go through this. Nobody should ever have to experience what you and Jeff are going through. We are here for you and will continue to be here for you. Much love.

[progeezer]

Cyn - The only thing I can say is I do know exactly how you feel, and you're very wise to reach out for strength and support. It's much healthier than becoming a recluse like a certain lost man did for 5 months in 2003.

I can't help but hurt with you.:(

[Don Arnold]

I can't help but hurt with you.:(

Indeed, in varying degrees, I'm sure we're all hurting with you. Here's hoping there is still a place in your day for a smile (and for Jeff too).

[emperorken]

Cyndee, it was nice meeting and chatting with you last Saturday on Aural Moon, although I wish it were under different circumstances.
Wishing you all the strength in the world. Take care.

[Scott Bails]

I can't help but hurt with you.:(

So very well said. I echo the sentiments.

[ViolinCyndee]

Quote from Jeff, from last night:
"I am going to miss you so much, even if I don't know it."

:( :(

[Lopez]

Quote from Jeff, from last night:
"I am going to miss you so much, even if I don't know it."

That just about broke my heart. I'm getting all bleary eyed. I feel so bad for you both.

[NeonKnight]

Yes, well said by you Lopez. Also well said by Jeff. If I may I would paraphrase his statement back through Cyndee to Jeff with my own feelings:

"We (@PE) are going to miss you so much, even if you don't know it."

Heavy hearts all around. Godspeed.

[Scott Bails]

Quote from Jeff, from last night:
"I am going to miss you so much, even if I don't know it."

:( :(

Ah jeez. That brings tears.

Praying and hoping for peace, Cyndee.

[progeezer]

Quote from Jeff, from last night:
"I am going to miss you so much, even if I don't know it."

:( :(One of the main reasons I've always been fond of Jeff is his sensitivity. I don't know if there's anyone else besides me, who doesn't grasp evangelical religious fervor, but it's times like these that almost make me want to be wrong, so Jeff (& my Karen, who I lost in 2003) DO know:(.

[VickiLynn]

One of the main reasons I've always been fond of Jeff is his sensitivity. I don't know if there's anyone else besides me, who doesn't grasp evangelical religious fervor, but it's times like these that almost make me want to be wrong, so Jeff (& my Karen, who I lost in 2003) DO know:(.
I am not a religious person, but I've had many spiritual experiences which lead me to believe that loving link will still be there. None of us can know for sure what happens after death, but we'll all find out. If we do carry on in some form, then Jeff will still be experiencing that love. If we do cease altogether, then he will be at peace and you will still have the love you shared within your own being. Those loving experiences will always be there for you. I hope you do not find this post preachy or intrusive, I just wanted to let you know that I understand these thoughts because they've been foremost in my mind since my father passed last year. Love to you both.

[Lou]

Just saw this thread today, and read with a heavy heart. I do not post here frequently, but read a lot
of the threads here. Though I don't know you or Jeff personally, the two of you have always come across
as friendly, knowledgeable, and classy. I'll pray for perseverance and strength for you Cyndee. I greatly admire
what you are doing, and how you have been handling it. God Bless you!

[Rune Blackwings]

Quote from Jeff, from last night:
"I am going to miss you so much, even if I don't know it."

:( :(

i cried when I read that.

[Rune Blackwings]

One of the main reasons I've always been fond of Jeff is his sensitivity. I don't know if there's anyone else besides me, who doesn't grasp evangelical religious fervor, but it's times like these that almost make me want to be wrong, so Jeff (& my Karen, who I lost in 2003) DO know:(.



not to be religious, but there have been things i experienced that makes me realize that there is something after. that is all i will say on that, other than to say i do not like referring to people in the past tense. it makes them sound like objects to me....

but jeff will always be with us-in our hearts and minds and spirit.

[Vic2012]

Sorry to hear about this Cyndee. I don't know what to say. Hang in there.

[ViolinCyndee]

not to be religious, but there have been things i experienced that makes me realize that there is something after. that is all i will say on that, other than to say i do not like referring to people in the past tense. it makes them sound like objects to me....

but jeff will always be with us-in our hearts and minds and spirit.


I don't think Geezer was referring to Jeff in the past tense.. (maybe you meant him referring to Karen?). Anyway, Jeff's time is now, but then it will be no more, so I do not have a problem with referring to him in the past tense at the appropriate time.. I will lovingly remember him and the time we have had, though, finite. I HAVE had to remind people that he is still here, though, when they have already started referring to him in the past tense now.

I don't think there is anything after, so my time with Jeff is even more precious to me now...

Really appreciate all of your support and love.

[Rune Blackwings]

I don't think Geezer was referring to Jeff in the past tense.. (maybe you meant him referring to Karen?). Anyway, Jeff's time is now, but then it will be no more, so I do not have a problem with referring to him in the past tense at the appropriate time.. I will lovingly remember him and the time we have had, though, finite. I HAVE had to remind people that he is still here, though, when they have already started referring to him in the past tense now.

I don't think there is anything after, so my time with Jeff is even more precious to me now...

Really appreciate all of your support and love.

actually, I was just saying it in general. I had not even noticed how Geezer said anything about Jeff or Karen.

Whether or not there is anything after, all time with loved ones is precious. As I said before, you and Jeff are the epitome of "soul mates".

[ViolinCyndee]

actually, I was just saying it in general. I had not even noticed how Geezer said anything about Jeff or Karen.

Whether or not there is anything after, all time with loved ones is precious. As I said before, you and Jeff are the epitome of "soul mates".

Thank you Jen... Yes, time is very precious, and we only have a very little time.. It's ok that he is sleeping away most of the time. I only care that he is comfortable..

[Modry Effekt]

Jeff.Love.Cyndee.I love you.

[ViolinCyndee]

Jeff.Love.Cyndee.I love you.

xoxo

[Dan Marsh]

Cyndee,

My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks everyone... Each day is a little worse than the one before it. 4 days with no food, so far, and I am not pushing him to eat anymore. I sometimes have to check his chest to see if he's still breathing, since he already looks dead when he's sleeping.. Extremely draining and stressful.. I am on my last nerve.. :(

[progeezer]

You do have local support from friends & fam, don't you, Cyn?

We all care deeply and want to help however we can, but geography's a bitch:).

[ViolinCyndee]

You do have local support from friends & fam, don't you, Cyn?

We all care deeply and want to help however we can, but geography's a bitch:).

Yes, we have had visitors every day, and his Mom comes every day, too.. Really, really helps. My sister has been over from LI too, several times (3 hour drive).

[ForeverAutumn]

Cyndee, please also consider any support groups available to you. I know that some people think that they are cheesy, but it can be very helpful to speak to people that have walked in your shoes in their own way.

A big virtual, supportive hug to you!
Esther

[ViolinCyndee]

Cyndee, please also consider any support groups available to you. I know that some people think that they are cheesy, but it can be very helpful to speak to people that have walked in your shoes in their own way.

A big virtual, supportive hug to you!
Esther

Thank you... I post on a cancer forum, and it's very helpful.. I also am in contact with Ken's wife (Arkangel3, who we lost a few months ago to lung cancer).
:(

[Scott Bails]

I also am in contact with Ken's wife (Arkangel3, who we lost a few months ago to lung cancer).
:(

Let her know that we miss him and think about him all the time.

[Christopher Henry]

I'm just crushed to know what you're going though. I think of you guys often. I just don't know what else to say.

Much love to the both of you.

from Chris

[ViolinCyndee]

Let her know that we miss him and think about him all the time.

Yes, I will.. xoxo

[ViolinCyndee]

I'm just crushed to know what you're going though. I think of you guys often. I just don't know what else to say.

Much love to the both of you.

from Chris

Thank you Chris.. It's like a horror-show Twillight Zone. Relentless and surreal..

[ViolinCyndee]

UPDATE: Jeff Nutkowitz will have a change in painkillers. Rather than the diloudid, he will now have a patch that gets changed very 12 hours, so will have constant relief from pain. If he still has pain, he can get liquid morphene as needed. No more having to chew pills for him (he can't swallow them!)

[VickiLynn]

UPDATE: Jeff Nutkowitz will have a change in painkillers. Rather than the diloudid, he will now have a patch that gets changed very 12 hours, so will have constant relief from pain. If he still has pain, he can get liquid morphene as needed. No more having to chew pills for him (he can't swallow them!)
I hope this keeps Jeff pain-free and peaceful -- love to you both.

[ViolinCyndee]

I hope this keeps Jeff pain-free and peaceful -- love to you both.

Thanks Viciki.. xoxo

So, Jeff has really had a noticeable decline this week. He hasn't eaten for 8 days straight, so far.. He is going in and out of sleep and lucidity, and didn't know who I was last night. When I asked him who I was, he said, "I don't know", and then he also said I was "a maid".

We are still waiting for the painkiller patch to come in the mail. Hopefully, Monday, or I will have to call to check on it..

Getting harder every day..

[Scott Bails]

(((hugs)))

[Plasmatopia]

You are both still in my thoughts, Cyndee.

[Casey]

Savor whatever morsel you can out of the remaining moments.

If only we could send you our collective strength to help you endure. We can't; so we send you our love, instead.

[Amy]

So, Jeff has really had a noticeable decline this week. He hasn't eaten for 8 days straight, so far.. He is going in and out of sleep and lucidity, and didn't know who I was last night. When I asked him who I was, he said, "I don't know", and then he also said I was "a maid".

We are still waiting for the painkiller patch to come in the mail. Hopefully, Monday, or I will have to call to check on it..

Getting harder every day..

Near the end, my brother wasn't able to say who I was. But I believed that on a different level, he knew. It's just that he wasn't able to articulate it with words. I just sat with him and held his hand. I felt like that transfer of touch was an understanding between us. It's difficult to explain - but it was a comfort.

Thoughts with you both every day.

-Amy

[moecurlythanu]

It's very difficult to read, Cyndee, but thanks for sharing with us. We're with you.

[ViolinCyndee]

My fb status today:
UPDATE: today is Day 11 of Jeff not having any food. He is getting weaker each day, sleeping 24/7 and in and out of lucidity the few minutes a day he is awake. So painful for me to see his continual decline... This last phase feels so long.

[bob_netherton]

Hey Cyndee,

I am so sorry to just be hearing about this. I dropped off Facebook some time ago, but had been wishing the best for you and Jeff. Just know that we are still thinking about you two down here in Texas. Prayers to the both of you.


Bob

[Jefferson James]

I am heartbroken and extremely saddened to learn of the passing of one of the most passionate, knowledgeable and kind people I have ever had the good fortune to have met, Mr. Jeff Nutkowitz. I met Jeff and his lovely wife Cyndee at RoSfest back in 2011; Jeff was an encyclopedia of musical knowledge and all-around great guy, and his support of the progressive rock scene was not only admirable, but crucial in helping establish and maintain a tangible sense of community. Jeff will be missed by many and while this kind of physical transformations is difficult at best, my heart is relieved to know the man is no longer in pain and suffering. To Cyndee, my heart goes out to you. :(

[wideopenears]

My condolences, and may Jeff Rest In Peace.
Cyndee, please take care of yourself now--you've spent so much energy taking care of Jeff, I am sure....please take care of yourself--I am sure Jeff would want nothing else than that.

[100423]

Very sad news. My condolences, Cyndee.

[Scott Bails]

So sorry, Cyndee.

Considering all that he's been through, I'm one of those who has to believe that he's in a better place. Hollow words right now, I know.

As wideopen says, make sure to take care of yourself now - no doubt these last few months have taken their toll. You know we're all here for you.

[rob martino]

I was stunned to hear the news, for some reason I missed Cyndee's updates here and on Facebook and did not realize what she and Jeff had been going through the last couple months (I knew about the cancer but not that it was this far advanced). Very sorry I wasn't able to voice my support more along the way.

I have fond memories of my times with Cyndee and Jeff (they graciously hosted me for a house concert at their place), Jeff was also a kind and enthusiastic supporter of my music.

Cyndee, both you and Jeff will be on my mind a lot, and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.

[Dan Roth]

Cyndee, I am so so sad to hear this. :( Please accept my sincere condolences.

I will forever think of Jeff at various NEARfests, often in the side aisle, bopping and groovin along to the spaci-ness that was on stage.

[Don Arnold]

I'll add my condolences. And thank you Cyndee for sharing your painful journey with us - I truly hope that it has been helpful. Even though I've never met you, nor Jeff, I feel like I know you both.

[Jerjo]

My deepest sympathies and condolences Cyndee on your soul-mate's passing.

[Polypet]

stay strong Cyndee. try to soak up as much love as possible from your family, friends and the universe in general. hopefully, it will help you get through this time of painful transition to healing.

he will always live on in our memories and the love you two had for each other will continue to nourish your own spirit, i'm sure.

now you can get some deeply needed rest and recuperation. what a long, exhausting and scary experience this must've been for you.

our love goes out to Jeff wherever he may be, if anywhere now, in this incredible journey we're all on...

and love to you. you're such a strong, caring presence in the world. i'm so glad you were able to be with him at the end. certainly it made a huge difference to him having you there at his side.

take care and please do stay in touch,

Kim

[ForeverAutumn]

Cyndee, I am heartbroken for you and at a loss for words. Just know that you are in my thoughts with lots of love being sent your way.

[emperorken]

Deepest condolences, Cyndee.

[spacefreak]

Sad day today... My deepest condolences, Cyndee.

[kid_runningfox]

My condolences on your loss, Cyndee.

[laurainspace]

soooo sad for you, Cyndee.

spaaaaace :(

[Lou]

Very sad news. No words Cyndee, just prayers and love.

[MoodsWings]

I'm so very sad and sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences Cyndee.

[Digital_Man]

My deepest condolences also. Very sad to hear about this.

[dropforge]

:( Please accept my condolences, Cyndee. I'll never forget Jeff and the funny cool times we all had in PE Chat. He'll always carry the torch for SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!

[Plasmatopia]

My deepest condolences, Cyndee.

[JKL2000]

My condolences, Cyndee. I'm just glad that Jeff is now at peace. That must have been extremely difficult, but it's good Jeff had you by his side.

Jed

[Rune Blackwings]

Goodbye, Jeff. I don't know what to say, Cyndee...

Hope you don't mind me posting this:
http://sound4good.bandcamp.com/track/transquility-base

[ViolinCyndee]

Goodbye, Jeff. I don't know what to say, Cyndee...

Hope you don't mind me posting this:
http://sound4good.bandcamp.com/track/transquility-base

I don't mind at all..

[Magic Mountain]

I just returned from vacation to read the very sad news. My deepest sympathies and condolences to you Cyndee.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone.. This has been the most painful 4 months of my life. I am still off from work for a few more weeks, getting things done very slowly here... I have a guest in the cottage, which is a nice way to get me slowly back to work, while having some company for breakfast on most days, too. My friends have been so supportive, making sure I am not alone too much. The house feels peaceful, but sad, too.. I sleep with his bathrobe, and listen to the Dead hour every Monday in honor of him... Everyone's support has been so amazing throughout this time, helping me to be strong enough to take care of him, and to give him a calm, loving vibe when it was time for him to leave me....

[Modry Effekt]

Thank you everyone.. This has been the most painful 4 months of my life. I am still off from work for a few more weeks, getting things done very slowly here... I have a guest in the cottage, which is a nice way to get me slowly back to work, while having some company for breakfast on most days, too. My friends have been so supportive, making sure I am not alone too much. The house feels peaceful, but sad, too.. I sleep with his bathrobe, and listen to the Dead hour every Monday in honor of him... Everyone's support has been so amazing throughout this time, helping me to be strong enough to take care of him, and to give him a calm, loving vibe when it was time for him to leave me....

Oh my,Cyndee.Love.

[progeezer]

Hugs to you, very strong lady in spite of yourself!:)

[ForeverAutumn]

Cyndee, everything that I try to type here just sounds trite. I'm happy to hear that you have good friends to help you through this time and that you aren't alone. I hope that, in time, your pain lessens. Peace and Love to you.

[Scott Bails]

Very nice to hear that the folks here helped you get through a very rough time in some small way.

Remember the good times with your soulmate, Cyndee.

[ViolinCyndee]

Love you all... xoxo

[ViolinCyndee]

Also, not sure if I mentioned this on PE before, but a great way to honor Jeff would be to make a donation to Farm Sanctuary in his name: www.farmsanctuary.org

Thank you all for being there for him, and for me... xoxo

[Modry Effekt]

Also, not sure if I mentioned this on PE before, but a great way to honor Jeff would be to make a donation to Farm Sanctuary in his name: www.farmsanctuary.org

Thank you all for being there for him, and for me... xoxo

Oh Jeff.Miss You!

Cyndee,you are just a wonderful.

Jorge Ben & Lucinha Lins - Georgia e Jorge


http://youtu.be/CPpxVxp80hw

[ViolinCyndee]

Oh Jeff.Miss You!

Cyndee,you are just a wonderful.

Jorge Ben & Lucinha Lins - Georgia e Jorge


http://youtu.be/CPpxVxp80hw

Thank you xoxo....

Tomorrow, I will be going to a jeweler to design a new ring from our 2 wedding rings, plus an amethyst I had gotten years ago, plus maybe a few more small amethysts and/or diamonds. I am looking forward to being able to wear both of our rings as one, to always remind me of him forever..

[progeezer]

Come to Progday, damnit!;):D

[ViolinCyndee]

Come to Progday, damnit!;):D

I really do have to go back to work, and instead of Progday, will plan a trip to (probably) Ireland, or (possibly) Italy around Octoberish.. Gotta get a new passport, since mine has expired.. I know, I'd like to see all of you, too.. Need tons of hugs, and know I'd get 'em at Progday! But.. I also think that taking a trip alone will be very healing for me... Never know what will happen next year, though. xoxo

[VickiLynn]

Thank you xoxo....

Tomorrow, I will be going to a jeweler to design a new ring from our 2 wedding rings, plus an amethyst I had gotten years ago, plus maybe a few more small amethysts and/or diamonds. I am looking forward to being able to wear both of our rings as one, to always remind me of him forever..

That's a wonderful idea -- it will be beautiful!

[ViolinCyndee]

That's a wonderful idea -- it will be beautiful!

Thank you Vicki! The rings are at the jeweler now, and I am very excited about the design I came up with.. It will take a few weeks--cant wait to see the finished product!

[ForeverAutumn]

Tomorrow, I will be going to a jeweler to design a new ring from our 2 wedding rings, plus an amethyst I had gotten years ago, plus maybe a few more small amethysts and/or diamonds. I am looking forward to being able to wear both of our rings as one, to always remind me of him forever..

My Mom did that after my Dad passed away. Everytime I see my Mom wearing that ring I think of my Dad. I think it's a beautiful thing to do.

[ViolinCyndee]

My Mom did that after my Dad passed away. Everytime I see my Mom wearing that ring I think of my Dad. I think it's a beautiful thing to do.

Thank you! Our 2 rings will be visible, as though they are both on my finger, one stacked on top of the other but fused into one ring. (his ring will be sized to my finger size). Then, my 4 carat pear-shaped amethyst will be on top, with a row of diamonds along the side of the stone..

[Scott Bails]

That sounds really cool. Very creative idea, Cyndee.

[ForeverAutumn]

Thank you! Our 2 rings will be visible, as though they are both on my finger, one stacked on top of the other but fused into one ring. (his ring will be sized to my finger size). Then, my 4 carat pear-shaped amethyst will be on top, with a row of diamonds along the side of the stone..

It sounds beautiful.

[Amy]

It sounds beautiful.

I echo this. And a lovely idea.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks everyone.... It will take a few weeks. Can't wait to see it!

[Rune Blackwings]

Thank you! Our 2 rings will be visible, as though they are both on my finger, one stacked on top of the other but fused into one ring. (his ring will be sized to my finger size). Then, my 4 carat pear-shaped amethyst will be on top, with a row of diamonds along the side of the stone..

sounds beautiful!

[Erogenous Zone]

Cyndee,

I am truly saddened to hear of the loss of such a great guy. My heart and deepest sympathy goes out to you. In honor of Jeff, I will dance in the aisles at Yestival and scream "YOWZA"

[ViolinCyndee]

Cyndee,

I am truly saddened to hear of the loss of such a great guy. My heart and deepest sympathy goes out to you. In honor of Jeff, I will dance in the aisles at Yestival and scream "YOWZA"

Thank you Ed... xoxo

[dropforge]

Tomorrow, I will be going to a jeweler to design a new ring from our 2 wedding rings, plus an amethyst I had gotten years ago, plus maybe a few more small amethysts and/or diamonds. I am looking forward to being able to wear both of our rings as one, to always remind me of him forever..

:up:up:up

[100423]

Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing, Cyndee.

[ViolinCyndee]

Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing, Cyndee.

Thank you so much for checking on me. Things are totally different, of course, but the worst is behind me. I just couldn't take watching him suffer, and wither away in front of me. Very painful memories... I am trying to focus on the time we had before he got sick, and also keeping very busy.. Looking forward to getting my new ring soon--made from the fusion of our wedding rings...

[Don Arnold]

....made from the fusion of our wedding rings...

Hmm. Fusion. Then there's the amethyst (aka Rock). And, the whole idea you have going here is definitely Progressive. Now you have a cool idea that's even cooler! :)

[ViolinCyndee]

Hmm. Fusion. Then there's the amethyst (aka Rock). And, the whole idea you have going here is definitely Progressive. Now you have a cool idea that's even cooler! :)

Thanks... xoxo

[Scott Bails]

Cyndee - please be sure to post pics of your new jewelry when it's finished. I'm sure many here would love to see it.

[ViolinCyndee]

Cyndee - please be sure to post pics of your new jewelry when it's finished. I'm sure many here would love to see it.

Thanks for taking an interest... xoxo

[ViolinCyndee]

2530

Here's the ring I got made from our wedding rings. I had his ring sized down to fit me, then added the amethyst I had for years, and got some diamonds added, too.. It sparkles much more in real life than this pic shows..

[100423]

It looks beautiful, Cyndee!

[Don Arnold]

Thanks for posting the photo. We can only capture a glimpse of it's intangible meaning, but the picture reveals a lovely ring Cyndee. We can all add sparkles to the diamonds from our end. :)

[Scott Bails]

Wow. That's really nice. They did a great job with it. Looks really cool with the two bands.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thanks everyone! THe jeweller knew Jeff from his astro club, and took special care with it.

[ForeverAutumn]

That's so beautiful Cyndee...on many levels. I hope that it brings you many loving and lovely memories of Jeff.

[Brian Griffin]

Thats a beautiful pc Cyndee, I hope it brings you some comfort

BG

[Casey]

Thank you, Cyndee, for giving me a wonderful idea.

I hope you are getting stronger every day.

[ViolinCyndee]

Thank you everyone... Yes, I feel I am getting stronger, though, not all the way back to normal, of course.. Things are surreal, and feel like they were so long ago..

[Rune Blackwings]

2530

Here's the ring I got made from our wedding rings. I had his ring sized down to fit me, then added the amethyst I had for years, and got some diamonds added, too.. It sparkles much more in real life than this pic shows..

it's very beautiful!

[ViolinCyndee]

it's very beautiful!

Thanks Jen...

[ajeesh]

CHINESE SIMPLIFIED to DANISH dictionary (http://multidictionary.info/index.php?from=CHINESE%20SIMPLIFIED&to=DANISH)
ARABIC to DANISH dictionary (http://multidictionary.info/index.php?from=ARABIC&to=DANISH)
very nice ......

[nitajohnson930]

What happened?