Wedding Music

[Seven8]

Hello Progheads,

The forecast down below must call for a cooling trend because I've always said it would be a cold day in hell before I get married, but this July I am getting hitched!

For the reception I am torn about what music to be played because the music is so important to me yet I don't want to alienate my fiancee's guests by playing a bunch of 20 minute prog epics. As much as I would like to have a live band I haven't been able to find any that could scratch my musical itch (hey, it is my wedding!) but also are appropriate for folks that want to dance. (Me, I'm not a dancer. Don't go there.) So I've kind of resigned myself to hiring a DJ that can play a wide variety of music including some tastefully selected progressive tunes. But what songs are suitable for a wedding? I know you guys will have some ideas.

Here is a short list I've started - nothing set in stone at this point:
When You Give Your Love To Me - Kevin Gilbert
You - Tony Banks
Your Own Special Way - Genesis
No One Can Take You Away From Me - Marillion
All On A Sunday - Spock's Beard (not sure if this will work, but the wedding is on a Sunday)

Non-prog:
Love Shack - The B52's (guilty pleasure song for me)
I Got The Fire - Montrose (not sure if this will work)

Non-dance tunes (dinner music?)
And You and I - Yes
Love, Reign O'er Me - The Who
Last Train Home - Pat Metheny (instrumental - my fiancee just loves the song)
For Today - Camel

I'm interested in hearing what kind of music you guys think would be good for a wedding. Like my list, they don't necessarily all need to be prog. OK folks, have at it!

[davis]

how about a nice Eno waltz

[rcarlberg]

Here's a small piece of advice from somebody who has been happily married for 25 years. The wedding isn't about you.

Let your bride pick, let the bride's family pick. It's not important and you have nothing to gain. Anything you choose is likely to be "wrong" and you'll never hear the end of it -- so just give up now without a fight and get on with the ceremony.

[davis]

RC has been married as long as I have, and he's made a very good point. My wife chose the song she wanted played right before we said our vows. I didn't like the song, but the lyrics were appropriate, and it only took maybe 3 or 4 minutes. no music at the reception. just people mingling. all pretty informal.

[No Pride]

Here's a small piece of advice from somebody who has been happily married for 25 years. The wedding isn't about you.

Let your bride pick, let the bride's family pick. It's not important and you have nothing to gain. Anything you choose is likely to be "wrong" and you'll never hear the end of it -- so just give up now without a fight and get on with the ceremony.

I'd say this is sound advice.

As a professional musician who never became a rock star or a first call studio ace, I've played at hundreds of weddings. Once in a while, the couple has been very choosy about the music complying to their personal tastes. Not too long ago, I played for one where the couple only wanted big band (Miller, Dorsey, etc.) and the closest thing to rock or pop that was acceptable to them was a smattering of Motown. I suppose they were happy, but their guests weren't. And this was a young couple, so obviously most of their friends were young too. So I'd say you have to choose your priorities.

The only song from your list that I've ever played at a wedding is "Love Shack" (in fact I've played it many, many times). The closest I've come to "Your Own Special Way" was playing "Follow You, Follow Me." I think it's good to have some variety, as there's generally people from various age groups. Younger people tend to dance more, so it's good to let the scales tip in that direction, but don't forget about your elders. And obscure prog (or obscure anything) is not highly recommended. You'll have a lifetime of listening to what you want at home later (at least with headphones ).

[gryphs also]

My wife wanted a big party for our 25th anniversary. I said if there was to be a DJ I wanted one song of mine every 1/2 hour and it wouldn't be more than 8 minutes long and no questions asked. She agreed because I would not have agreed to the party without it. I had some weird stuff and I was the only one on the floor air-guitaring around. The thing was that everyone else got a big laugh out of me and it made the party better for them.

This might work where you get your fix in and the rest of the people get their time.

[SteveSly]

I don't think I have ever been to a wedding where the vast majority of the crowd was not into your general top 40 / dance music stuff that gets played at all weddings. When my wife and I got married we did dance to Marillion's "Waiting To Happen" and did have a couple of specific tunes scattered throughout the night (I remember I specifically wanted "Thunderstruck" by AC / DC), but for the most part we let the DJ control the music and take requests from the people there. I have a budddy of mine who ran a DJ service for many years (he did our wedding) and he had kind of a general playlist that went over big at all of the weddings he did. There might be some variation if it was more of a country, rap, or ethnic type crowd, but generally most of it was the same old stuff that you hear at just about any wedding you go to.

[Jubal]

Here's a small piece of advice from somebody who has been happily married for 25 years. The wedding isn't about you.

Let your bride pick, let the bride's family pick. It's not important and you have nothing to gain. Anything you choose is likely to be "wrong" and you'll never hear the end of it -- so just give up now without a fight and get on with the ceremony.

I've been married 26 years. I can't agree more with this advice. My wife and I collaborated on our ceremony music. We didn't have a DJ at the reception. I did have some say, but it was only after my bride-to-be heard what it would sound like in rehearsals. We had live musicians with very simple arrangements. The special pieces were Mark Isham - Love Song To a Ballerina for seating of the bride's parents,, Douglas Trowbridge (AKA Richard Souther) -Finlandia for the seating of the groom's parents, Vangelis - Eric's Theme (from Chariots of Fire) for the full processional, and Trumpet Voluntary for the recessional. There were 3 musicians- a pianist, a keyboardist (using a friend's Roland keyboard) and a trumpet player. I spent about 5 weeks on the arrangements, mainly because I can't read music well at all. It worked well, but it certainly wasn't Prog. It certainly was not about the groom.
Some of the more mainstream Prog pieces can be OK at background level during dinner, but I wouldn't recommend (as a wedding DJ for 16 years) more than one or two Prog love songs during dancing.

[Blah_Blah_Woof_Woof]

We entered the church to So Long Ago, So Clear and exited to the theme to the Avengers. The reception was to tapes that I recorded for the day. My only regret was that everyone chose the moment for the 'first dance' during the Who's Pure and Easy- "Civilization is trying to find a new way to die..." Oh well, nobody noticed!

[Banquo]

My wife did all the planning as we paid for our own wedding. I told her then - "You make the reservation. I'll show up." She hired a DJ who got together with us to discuss song selections. I had only two requests:

1. Tom Waits - Better Off Without A Wife (In honor of my Best Man)
2. Count Five - Psychotic Reaction

[Tangram]

Your Own Special Way, Steve Hackett's version of the song with Paul Carrack singing, was my wedding song. The band learned the song and did a great job.

[BravadoNJ]

young people today wanna dance to crappy dance music at weddings. it's become a cliche.

[rcarlberg]

young people today wanna dance to crappy dance music at weddings. it's become a cliche.

When our daughter got married in 2011 her DJ played a wide variety of Motown, Detroit, and current dance-ish numbers -- FOR THE DANCE SEGMENT. For the seating and ceremony it was strictly traditional wedding music -- crap from my viewpoint (and probably hers) but weddings are for the guests, not the wedding party.

Have fun, kick loose, enjoy yourself -- but don't make your guests suffer.

[ronmac]

We had no dancing at our wedding. Short, sweet and no DJ. Perfect for me.

Funny story: I friend of mine got married many years ago. He had long blonde hair and was wearing a white tux (think Alice Cooper's "Welcome to My Nightmare"). Anyway, he was, apparently, too cheap to buy white formal socks, so he wore his white tube socks. The only problem was that the red stripes showed through his white pants. Anyway, the DJ was playing the worst music, so some of us asked if he'd play stuff we had. He said, "Sure. Bring in whatever you want to hear." Ten minutes later, my buddy with the long blonde hair, white tux and red stripes was in the middle of an otherwise empty dance floor playing air guitar to live Johnny Winter.

[Jerjo]

My mother-in-law booked the band (father-in-law wrote the check). The band was one of those country bands that played "everything". I had no input and didn't care. The guests loved it, my groomsmen and friends were all drunk so they didn't care, and my wife's family were happy.

There are these two gems about matrimony:

[Seven8]

I appreciate everyone's candid advice. It's not quite what I expected from this crowd (!) but I see where you all are coming from. Just to be clear, I was not intending on putting on a prog showcase, but I thought it might be interesting to sprinkle in a few tasteful tunes with some prog flavorings without causing any suffering. I could be wrong. My fiancee was on board with the idea of a few prog tunes (she loves Steve Hackett, herself, and will be going on Cruise To The Edge with me in April) but your points are well taken.

If we decide to go with a prog-free reception then it's got me thinking again about hiring a live dance band instead of a DJ. One, because I like the idea of employing other musicians, and two, because I love the energy that a good band can bring to an event. Damn, planning a wedding is a lot of work. Haha

[rcarlberg]

Bands that are used to doing weddings will have "appropriate" backgroundish songs to play during the non-dance portions of the ceremony. Hire somebody who knows what they're doing.

Slip 'em a $20 and maybe they'll do "And You And I" as a closer

[No Pride]

If we decide to go with a prog-free reception then it's got me thinking again about hiring a live dance band instead of a DJ. One, because I like the idea of employing other musicians, and two, because I love the energy that a good band can bring to an event. Damn, planning a wedding is a lot of work. Haha

Naturally, I like that idea! The DJs have taken enough work from us (no offense, Jubal!). Wedding bands can vary quite a bit in quality; I've played with some really good ones and some pretty shitty ones too. I've seen a lot of marriage planning couples come to other weddings and stand discretely in the wings to check out the band; you might want to do that with a few of them. And yeah, it can be a lot of work. My ex-wife and I were practically at each other's throats before the wedding; hope it's better for you guys!

[ronmac]

've seen a lot of marriage planning couples come to other weddings and stand discretely in the wings to check out the band; you might want to do that with a few of them.

That's a really great idea. Worth the time if it's important enough to start a thread about it, which it is. Nothing can be worse than a big music fan having to sit through a shitty band at his own wedding. Well, some things can be worse, like if they serenaded the new couple outside of their honeymoon suite. Or worse yet, if they actually PLAYED some Honeymoon Suite.

[Esoteric]

If you did want / feel the audience could cope with anything "of the sort of proggish ilk" but tasteful and not enough to frighten the horses, I would pop in "Nights in White Satin" and Greg Lake "Lucky Man"

[Trane]

The wedding isn't about you.
Let your bride pick, let the bride's family pick. It's not important and you have nothing to gain. Anything you choose is likely to be "wrong" and you'll never hear the end of it -- so just give up now without a fight and get on with the ceremony.

and once the wedding day is over , you might as well know that every day agtyer that you'll have to flatten yourself out to wifey and familey for the rest of your life (or until divorce day strikes, in which way, you'll break out all the Marilyn MLanson albums to celebrate

I still think Dust In The Wind could have marvellous effect on the future mother-in-law though....

[klothos]

Here's a small piece of advice from somebody who has been happily married for 25 years. The wedding isn't about you.

Let your bride pick, let the bride's family pick. It's not important and you have nothing to gain. Anything you choose is likely to be "wrong" and you'll never hear the end of it -- so just give up now without a fight and get on with the ceremony.

+1000000000000

[rcarlberg]

and once the wedding day is over , you might as well know that every day after that you'll have to flatten yourself out to wifey and familey for the rest of your life (or until divorce day strikes, in which way, you'll break out all the Marilyn Manson albums to celebrate

Practice these three phrases until you can say them automatically.

"Yes, dear."

"You're right, dear, and I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"If it makes you happy, dear, it makes me happy."

These three phrases are appropriate answers for almost every situation, and by mixing them judiciously you shouldn't need to learn any more responses for several years.

[Banquo]

Practice these three phrases until you can say them automatically.

"Yes, dear."

"You're right, dear, and I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"If it makes you happy, dear, it makes me happy."

These three phrases are appropriate answers for almost every situation, and by mixing them judiciously you shouldn't need to learn any more responses for several years.

Wow! Really? I've managed to be married for 25 years without being pussywhooped like that.

[Mythos]

I def would not play this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWWi5TevUMw

(LOL: Sorry but you gotta look to find out...)